thinking about breaking it off: seems to me he's milking the "sick" thing

[sunnie23]

hey everyone

 

i feel horrible right now, and i don't know if i've gotten myself here on my own or if i have legitimate reasons for the way i'm feeling.

 

so, here goes...

 

it was my birthday last week. my bf (7 months) couldn't come, he was very sick...he came over and tried to get it together but couldn't and so when we went out he went home. the next night he took me out for dinner, but he was shaking and tired and still sick. this all happened exactly a week ago.

 

so all this week he's been ill, we've talked very briefly but he's had a terrible headache and so the convos have been very short. he won't let me come over while he's sick so i haven't seen him in over a week.

 

yesterday he told me he was feeling a bit better-he could actually sit up and the headache wasn't so bad. his parents were coming to visit him (they live in another city) and he was supposed to phone me later but never did. today he was feeling better yet, almost no headache but still sort of drained...

 

his parents are leaving tomorrow night, and it looks like i won't get to meet them after all, due to his sickness. it all seems like bull to me though, he sounds fine on the phone, right now he's up playing cards with his family....

 

seems to me he's milking the "sick" thing so he won't have to introduce me to his parents. but i don't know. i might just be selfish and insecure, needy, all that other stuff...

 

any thoughts/objective voices are greatly appreciated.

[Curt]

OK...

 

I have some questions right away.

 

For example, what is he sick with? Clearly, it can't be communicable, else his family (mom, dad, and any of the rest which might be involved) would be in direct line for catching the ailment. I won't even mention that you were in contact with him before (birthday), and you made it through.

 

Why did he decide to cut contact with you at that point. I don't know. Sounds a bit too weird to be coincidence. Has he told his parents about you? I know thisn is going to be pure postulation, but, would they have any reason not to approve of your relationship?

 

Curt

[sunnie23]

he has a stomache virus. when he told me not to go see him he also mentioned that was looking pretty gross and in bad shape. i mentioned that i would have already caught it and he said "well, just in case, i don't want to get you sick"

 

his parents do know about me, i've met his whole entire family with the exception of them. (his other relatives are all local) his sister mentioned to me that they really wanted to meet me, they had heard lots of great things.

 

the only reason i can think of that they might disapprove is that i'm 23, my bf is almost 28. but i'm more accoplished than he is, in that i've graduated college already and am one year away from my second degree, and he's one year away from his first (in the program i finished the first time)

 

he is stuck at home being sick/being with parents, which is an hour away. i live in the city where he works/goes to school so usually we hang out here, then i'll go home with him and the next time he goes to work/school he brings me home.

(i don't have my own car)

 

he hasn't left his house since last saturday when we went out for my birthday.

[Jefferson12]

I say ask him about it first. Confront him on the subject in a nice way. Just ask: "hey, i'm just curious, don't mean to be silly, but how come you haven't introduced me to your parents yet?" .."You're not ashmed of me, Are you?"

 

You'll know, by his answer, what to do with all of this.

[Jefferson12]

Girl, You gotta have confidence. Don't feel insecure or down on yourself. Be strong.

It's normal to wonder about all of this. It's not selfish to ask him about it or to feel weird about it.