amandaparker503 Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 What if the ex is thinking what you are.. No contact, cant make contact, it has to ber her first, or it has to be him first... Then what! What if you both play No contact in order to move on! then you never have any hope of getting back together. My ex will not contact me as he told me that he does not love me anymore , he text me to say he has met another girl and is happy he has moved on. He told me when we broke up that we would never get back together ever and that he does not let people back into his life ever. So i know out of pride he will not contact me. I have managed 5 weeks of no contact via text, phone call, email , but one big but for me is i still see him twice a week and very often in the gym and stuff. Trust me there is not another option on this one, small town one gym etc etc. So if there is always contact, they never get to miss you ever. Even when you do no contact, if that makes sense! So how on earth would they have time out from you.? I keep my life to me, i dont talk about what i do , but to be fair, he drives past my house, he knows if i am in or out, he knows when i am at work or not and it drives me nuts! Look i ave done really well, i am proud of me, i got to 5 weeks no contact, and its been 3 months since we split, I have been in therapy and my life has changed and i like me now, and i focus on the future..BUT.. I can not change the fact i love someone, somedays it still knocks me for six, aka today and i cry all the time. I did a silly thing today, it was our 2 year anniversary thing, and i know the score, typical sign that you havent let go is to contact them and remind them..what do i do, i text him, i wanted to reach out to him, i asked a random question about business plans and he replied and that was it, one text each. What was i thinking.Later this evening i went to his kickboxing class and just in the past 2 weeks he has started to talk to me a little bit, he gives me advice again and doesnt plain ignore me, so tonight there is only 3 of us there , i pulled up and his car was there and me, that was it , we both sat in our cars, neither getting out.(it felt to me a bit childish!) I was to scared to be honest! I just didnt know what to say, anyway someone else turns up and he gets out and opens up the club..which was a life saver. I take a big breath! lol, as i was a bit scared about the fact i had text him and i walk in , big hello and chat away , i ask him to put on my playlist tonight and he did, he even joked with me about the music choices etc and he made eye contact with me during the session and was in general the most nicest he has been for ages. Anyway, i think i got away with appearing i contacted him out of wanting to make conact for the sake of wanting to open up doors again! I dont know , maybe i didnt and he just knows! I am angry with myself for breaking my NC and i also just feel when i get forward i go back a few steps. I love him and i am very foolish i know to waste my time on this guy as if he wants me, he would give me a sign. A stange post i guess as i am not really making much sense, i am just making the most of this site and clearing out my thoughts instead of doing a still thing and email the ex.
UnamedSeven Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 Well, he probably saw how you wanted to just talk after 5 weeks of not talking. he probably knows that even though what happened in the past, is the past, but that shouldn't rule out the possibility of a friendship again
EmperorR Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 don't break nc, my ex txt me on what would be our 3 year anniversary asking for a dumb 2 dollar notebook i just deleted it, I will not BUDGE.
Island Girl Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 You don't have to break NC just because you see him. You do not have to be chatty or friendly unless you want to establish a friendship. But do not try friendship while you still want him romantically. It won't work. Under the heading of friendship he'll end up being so friendly that he starts treating you like any other good friend and share relationship stuff and even introduce you to his new girlfriend. That is generally when it gets entirely too painful for the dumpee who is still in love but lying about it... And as far as getting him back or reestablishing contact, you can't make it happen. Any contact you make is pointless and starts you off at the beginning of the NC. Sorry I do not have better news for you.
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