I found out last night...

[OnlyBreathing]

Hello out there.

 

I came across this forum while searching the internet in an attempt to understand my feelings.

 

Last night I discovered that my wife of 2 years has had an affair. 2 days ago she flew home to the east coast for a couple weeks to be with her family while her mother undergoes a hysterectomy.

 

When I turned the computer on yesterday after work I found that her email account was still logged in. I honestly don't know why I did it, but I found myself going through her inbox. (I know it was wrong of me to invade her privacy, but considering what I found, it seems pretty insignificant...)

 

There were emails from a few months ago between her and another man from her summer job. And although none of them blatantly said they were sleeping together, they talked about missing each other, thinking about each other all the time, and one of them even used the word "love".

 

I called her and and told her what I found and asked for an explanation. She immediately started crying and admit to have been sleeping with this guy over the summer.

 

I'm was numb. I could feel the numbness in my fingers and toes. My heart was beating so fast, but I wasn't angry. I'm in shock. I never, ever, in a million years, expected this.

 

At first she was angry with me for going through her email, but I can't buy into that logic considering the scale of what she was hiding from me.

 

It's weird because she's the one who is angry and crying right now; I don't feel anything. I took today off from work. When I first woke up this morning, for a split second, I thought I had dreamt everything; but it's not a dream.

 

During our conversation last night, through her tears, she asked me what I was going to do, and what I wanted to happen. I don't know what I should do... I have no idea what I want to happen. I asked her for advice, and she said she wanted to work through it, and that she hadn't spoken to this guy in weeks, and had no intention of talking to him again. She said that she wanted to tell me about it, and even gave me examples of when she tried. She had in fact, mentioned to me once or twice how she thought I deserved someone better, and how she thought she was a bad person. At the time I told her she was wrong, that she was a good person, and how I felt lucky to have her.

 

I asked her why, and how she could do this. She said that she was unhappy with our relationship and didn't think we were going to last. She said the past couple months together have been the best time she's ever had, and regret what she had done every day.

 

(It's true, we did hit a rough spot over the summer, but things have been great between us recently...)

 

I haven't spoken to her yet today.

 

I feel like a fool. I feel stupid, and dirty. I think about us sleeping together at night, and making love. I think about us curled up on the couch watching TV. Us going to dinner, and overall just being intimate and happy.

 

How?? How could she let me say nice things to her and do nice things for her? How could she let me buy her things? How can a person do that??

 

This whole thing just seems evil to me. I look around the house at our things, our pictures together. This time yesterday I was happy, and missed her. Now, well, I honestly can't describe how I feel.

 

Is that normal? Should I be angry? Should I be crying? Should I be calling her right now?

 

I don't know what to do... She said she want's to "work through this"... How is that possible?? How could I ever let her touch me again? How could I ever fall asleep with my arms around her again? How could I ever make love to her, or even more important, how could I EVER trust her again?

 

I don't think I can do any of those things again.

 

Is it wrong for me to want to know the details of her relationship? I mean, a part of me wants to know everything: How many times, where, in what positions.. I know it sounds sick, but I think I want to know..

 

DO I want to know? Should I ask? Will hearing that stuff hurt me more than I realize?

 

I don't understand why I don't feel stronger about this. I don't understand why I'm not crying, or screaming. I'm just blown away. This whole thing just seems surreal right now.

 

I dunno... Typing this right now actually makes me feel better. I feel like I'm talking to someone...

 

I haven't told anyone about this, and I honestly don't know if I will.

 

I'm so embarrassed. I'm embarrassed that I was so blind to the possibility of something like this happening. I know I'm not the "model husband", but I can't see myself doing something like this to her; or anyone for that matter.

 

Evil is really the only way I can describe how I feel about her right now. I think about how many intimate moments we've had since this happened; how many times we've looked into each other eyes and said "I love you"... This whole time she was hiding this from me. She let us be close, and let me say things to her, the entire time knowing what she had done...

 

How is that possible?!? How can someone do that? It just seems so cold to me. Like I said; evil.

 

I'm sorry for typing so long, but like I said, it's making me feel better; like I'm talking to someone.

 

I feel like a horrible person for letting this happen. I feel blind, stupid, empty, and dirty...

 

I'm not sure what I expect anyone to say to me. I don't know what it is I think I want to hear. I would like to know why I'm so calm about this. I think I should be feeling more right now than just shame; but I'm not...

[Owl]

You just had the rug ripped from underneath your feet. You don't know what to feel...because your entire world has suddenly changed perspective...gone out of control...and right now you don't have any idea at all what direction should reach out to get your balance back.

 

Been there, my friend.

 

First off...realize that you do NOT have to decide anything at all today. OR tomorrow...or even next week.

 

Nothing requires you to take action this very moment, even though your body is telling you that you SHOULD be doing SOMETHING.

 

So...first off...you need information.

 

Two kinds of information.

 

First, you need to understand the full scope of what all has gone on. How much detail you need to hear is up to you...but you're going to have to have some level of understanding of how big the betrayal your wife has committed before you can decide whether or not this is something you can reconcile, or only move on and file for a divorce. So its up to her to provide that information to you. HOw the affair started, how it was conducted, why they ended. How she kept this from you, etc....

 

Second, you need information on how to handle this stuff. How to process it. What others have done in your place. That's where this forum can help. You can also pick up a couple of books...the first I'd recommend is "Surviving an Affair" by Dr Harley.

 

I'd suggest that you consider a marriage counselor as soon as your wife gets back. This can help you to decide whether or not to divorce or reconcile. It can provide a safe place for the two of you to open and honestly communicate, and it can provide you more information on how to implement whatever you decide.

 

If your emotions get too far outta control...consider seeing a doctor for AD's.

[Bryanp]

I am so sorry for you for what you are going through. These are just my opinion but here are some things you may wish to consider. First, you have only been married for two short years and have no children. Second, this was not a one time drunken experience (not that it really matters), but she consciously made a decision to have sex with this other man all through the Summer. Thirdly, she exposed you to all sorts of Stds. Fourthly, she was still having sex with you while continuously screwing this OM behind your back. Fifth, she clearly had no intention of ever telling you and had to be caught by you instead. Sixth, it shows how good and easy it is for her to cheat on you and how easy it is to lie and fool you.

 

My friend you have married a very dishonest and deceitful person who has a broken moral compass. When things hit a difficult patch in the first year and a half of marriage, her response was to continuously screw another man behind your back throughout the Summer. I think you would be very foolish to continue in this marriage. Her justification for betraying you in such a horrendous way is ridiculous. You both now need to be tested for STD's. I would strongly suggest that you contact an Attorney to understand your legal options. Your wife is certainly correct when she said that you deserve a spouse that is better than she. You would never have contemplated this but she apparently had no problem continuing to have sex with man throughout the Summer. She had no intention of ever being honest with you.

 

It is your call but ask yourself why you would wish to be with a wife you have been married for only two years who would do such a thing over and over again after a year and a half of marriage. She has a broken moral compass. She is a deceitful and dishonest person who had to be caught by you to finally be honest with you. I think you would have to be crazy to have children with such a person. Do not waste your life with someone who shows such tremendous distain for you, has such little respect for you and certainly no respect for her marriage vows. If you do not respect yourself then who will? I wish you luck.

[OnlyBreathing]

Bryanp:

 

What you say makes perfect sense. As much as I don't like hearing it, I have to accept that what you say is correct. I know that right now, I'm having a hard time accepting this as reality. I keep wishing it wasn't happening, but it is.

 

The fact that she could do this shows me she's not the person I thought she was. I want to go back to how things were 2 days ago, before I knew. But I can't, and I never will be able to.

 

As much I would like it to work, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her, or trust her again. This is something that would always be in the back of my mind.

 

There is no point in asking for details, is there... In fact, hearing them would probably only hurt me more.

 

I think that as the days pass, the reality of what has happened will start to set in.

 

I'm going to have to explain to her that I won't be able to recover from what she has done, and this is the beginning of the end of our marriage.

 

This sucks.

[LoyalGirl]

I'm going to have to explain to her that I won't be able to recover from what she has done, and this is the beginning of the end of our marriage.

 

What Owl said is correct though, OnlyBreathing, you don't have to make any decisions today, or tomorrow. This is very new. You are reacting on impulse. You said that you still feel numb. Take some time to explore your feelings first (because they will rollercoaster for a while before you know how you really feel), then make any decisions you need to make.

 

Just my opinion...

[jwi71]

Bryanp:

 

What you say makes perfect sense. As much as I don't like hearing it, I have to accept that what you say is correct. I know that right now, I'm having a hard time accepting this as reality. I keep wishing it wasn't happening, but it is.

 

The fact that she could do this shows me she's not the person I thought she was. I want to go back to how things were 2 days ago, before I knew. But I can't, and I never will be able to.

 

As much I would like it to work, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her, or trust her again. This is something that would always be in the back of my mind.

 

There is no point in asking for details, is there... In fact, hearing them would probably only hurt me more.

 

I think that as the days pass, the reality of what has happened will start to set in.

 

I'm going to have to explain to her that I won't be able to recover from what she has done, and this is the beginning of the end of our marriage.

 

This sucks.

 

Yup - been there done that.

 

The best advice I got was from my lawyer (business, not family law):

"Do nothing."

 

Do nothing for a week. Make no decisions. Really, don't even talk to your W. Just survive. Eat. Sleep. Be angry. Cry.

 

Now, call a MC. I discovered my wife's A on a Tuesday and we were in MC the following Monday. At that time, I had already met a family law attorney, filled out the divorce papers, sold my 911 and canceled my new home construction. I was preparing for a long drawn out fight and divorce and I was planning on leaving her nothing to win. Oh yeah, I was pissed.

 

Except, after several weeks of twice a week sessions, I figured it out. I really didn't want to D my W, she really didn't love her OM and she truly wanted to work on us. Stupid me had already sold my car and canceled our dream home. Oh well - so, do nothing. Don't screw up like I did. Do Nothing.

 

Breathe. Eat. Sleep. Survive. I lost almost 20 pounds in ten, maybe twelve days. Survival is the name of the game.

 

One thing I did in anger that actually turned out to be quite helpful was - expose the affair to everyone. Send those emails to the world. Get it out in the open - affairs are like vampires, thriving in darkness and secrecy. Deny it both. Send it to her friends, family, him, his friends, his family. Tell the world.

 

Good luck. I have been where you are now. It does pass. It does get better.

[Reggie]

I agree, you don't need to do anything right away except look after yourself the best you can.

Take your time and process this shock at your own pace. Get some therapy to help you decide what path to take.Everyone is different interms of their ability to remain in the marriage.

You will get through this, regardless of if whether you stay or go.

This will be very tough and painful. You need the support of friends and family. Confide in those close to you . Don't suffer in silence.

[mark982]

step back and give it some time. i'm not saying let your wife come back home(that's up to you). but rash decisions can come back to haunt you.

[In Like Flynn]

While I agree you don't need to make any quick decisions. Ther is no rush really. I would get all the information first....if for no other reason then to be able to look back at those days/times and wonder what you were doing or how she fooled you etc. For future use in this relationship or your next.

 

During a marriage your going to have a lot of good times and alot of times that won't be so good. Is she going to use the down times as as excuse to sleep with someone else??

 

I would after all the whens/wheres/whats etc have been laid out....I would measure them against that last couple of months were you both say it has been really good and then decide is it worth throwing your marriage away.

 

She better lay herself on the sword with all the information no matter how gory and be the driving force for recovery or it won't work!!!

[Bryanp]

Hello again,

 

I think you have recevied good advise which is why I say just see a lawyer to understand all of your availiable options for you to ponder. I think you yourself hit the nail on the head when you asked yourself how in the world could you every spend the rest of your life trusting a spouse who could have continuously have done this to you and hiding it so well from you after only 18 months of marriage. It is a guarantee that in any marriage there will be problems and now you know how your wife may deal with them. Why would you want to constantly worry about a spouse cheating on you. At least you fjjound out what kind of a person she is before you have invested so much in the marriage. She sounds very immature and narcissitic. I wish you luck.

[wuggle]

Much as I respect BryanP's opinion you do not "have to accept what he says is correct", it is just his opinion. Please listen to other people as well, such as the wise old Owl (no offence I am presuming he is a little longer in the tooth). I have an idea what you are going through, all the emotions you talk about are perfectly normal, some of them strange and horrible, some illogical, but totally normal. You world has just been thrown into chaos, it doesn't mean it's over. PLEASE do not think of your wife as Evil, I think from what you have said that she is just as hurt and confused as you are, I honestly don't think she wants to hurt you. Please try to stay calm (sorry - I know it sounds like a stupid thing to say) , avoid saying or doing things in anger that will just make things worse, So much damage is done in these situations when you both just lash out and say nasty stuff to each other in anger. Sounds to me like you loved your wife before you found this out, instead of just assuming its over talk to each other calmly and try not to blame each other, concentrate on getting through the next few days and weeks, talk a little, take time out to not talk but just think about things (constant talking really will wear you down, try to agree short periods when you can discuss things and try to arrange some time outs, go fo a walk together, do some of the things you enjoy doing together, remind each other why you are together in the first place). I can assure you lots of marriages survive this stuff, just beacuse she made a mistake doesn't mean she doesn't love you and I can almost gaurantee you she isn't evil, just a little confused.

[pelicanpreacher]

You are only 2 years into your marriage yet you are dealing with patches so rough that your wife sought solice in the arms of another man? If you don't mind, can you elaborate on the issues causing strife in your marriage last summer because I'm having a hard time with infidelity occurring during what should still be within the honeymoon stage of your marriage.

[username24]

OnlyBreathing

 

Sorry you are here. I know EXACTLY the void of feelings you are talking about. I was there about a year and a half ago. I knew my WW better than I knew myself and I just knew that she wouldn't cheat. That shock of finding out your whole life has been ripped out from underneath you is ****ing brutal. Don't make any major decisions for at LEAST a month. Some people even recommend waiting a year. I'd say wait until at least the initial shock is gone. In the mean time just concentrate on taking care of yourself. That means eat, sleep, maybe a little exercise.

 

As far as information goes, you have every right to know as much (or as little) as you want. The only thing I will caution is once you know something, you can't unknow it. So if you aren't sure if you really want to know a gory detail, wait until you are sure. Actually there is one other thing I will caution you about. BEWARE the 'trickle truth'. Most wayward spouses will minimize the affair when first discovered. You need to make your WW understand that you cannot reconcile without 100% honesty.

 

If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been with your WW (including the time you were dating). I'm going to guess it is around 8ish years total?

[OnlyBreathing]

 

If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been with your WW (including the time you were dating). I'm going to guess it is around 8ish years total?

About half that total time, including dating.

 

 

If you don't mind, can you elaborate on the issues causing strife in your marriage last summer

Sure.

 

It's true, we were in a rough spot. I was in the middle of a "career change" you could say, and money was an issue. (Me changing positions was premeditated; we had discussed it ahead of time, and looking back, it was a great decision...) But it did put a lot of stress on our relationship in a short period of time. But I never thought our arguments were THAT bad. Maybe my ignorance in that manner speaks to my blindness of this whole affair. I think during the worst of it I may have spent a total of 4 nights on the couch.

But I never suspected she would be cheating on me. In fact, I still don't understand fully how she did it, I mean, she always came home at night. I guess that's just another one of a long line of details that I'm going to have to figure out in the coming weeks...

 

 

 

One thing I did in anger that actually turned out to be quite helpful was - expose the affair to everyone. Send those emails to the world. Get it out in the open

 

jwi71, you weren't embarrassed? Should I not be feeling embarrassed? Because I am. I'm embarrassed that I could let this happen to me and be completely unaware of it.

 

 

 

 

I'm still numb to the whole thing. I still haven't cried, and I'm still not angry. I left earlier for a while (just to get out of the house), and she called while I was out. I haven't called back. I don't think I feel like talking to her today.

 

It still seems surreal to me. Maybe the gravity of the situation wont hit me until I see her face to face?

 

I'm not sure about a marriage counselor yet. I don't know if I even want to try and fix this... (Or is that a decision a MC can help make?)

 

I just can't see myself ever, ever trusting her again. Like some of you said, I did love her, and I do love her. But it seems to me that she is not the same person. The girl I loved could never do this to me.

 

I simply refuse to believe that she could.

[signedin2008]

Some people can never get pass betrayal like this. Even the Bible allows divorce due to betrayals like this. If you don't think you can forgive, it might be a good idea to cut your loses now than later.

 

If you think you can forgive and move on, keep in mind that you need counseling, both individually, and as a couple. You need to know that there is going to be lots of hard work on her side as well as on your side. It's true that your marriage will never be the same, you will be constantly reminded of her "acts" behind your back through movies, radio, tv, ads, etc. and it will be there to remind you and cause pain again and again for years to come. Make sure you're ready for that. But, the marriage can recover if you both put the time and hard work into it as long as you're willing to take back a cheater and work with her as your life partner to establish this trust back.

[Reggie]

Relatively short term marriage with no kids. You need to decide when you are clearer.. But, this is a plus if you want to get out. Hurts like hell, but you can cut the cord cleanly without kids.

[pelicanpreacher]

Thanks for responding to my question. Now, regarding this new job what was her core objection? Decrease in income? Longer working hours or increased travel? Your disposition when you came home stressed out?

What do you think was creating the wedge in your relationship at that time?

[jwi71]

jwi71, you weren't embarrassed? Should I not be feeling embarrassed? Because I am. I'm embarrassed that I could let this happen to me and be completely unaware of it.

 

Sure. I felt exactly like you did - probably as most others feel. Then it dawned on me that I had nothing to feel embarrassed about. I didn't cheat - she did. Her shame, not mine.

 

So, in my attempt to humiliate her and her boss (she was sleeping with him), I emailed the world. Her friends, her family, my friends and family - her coworkers - even the president and every C-level exec I could locate. I think I sent over 100 emails to her company alone. I talk openly about in her presence. I also speak openly of how I failed her. No more secrets. Talk about a breath of fresh air.

 

Our M is not better but our communication is. And as it improves, wouldn't you know it the M gets better too.

 

So, tell the world. Tell everyone how she betrayed you.

[theobserver]

I think you do need to stop and think about things deeply. One thing I really hate though is when people like you the Betrayed Spouse try to figure out "What did I do wrong" or buying into the cheaters speeches on how " you didn't pay me enough attention, we were fighting during the time, bla bla" yeah right. Listen unless you were beating her, or putting her down like a dog it's very likely you did nothing reasonably wrong.

 

First of all if there really is a deep problem it can always be communicated and if you read half the threads here alot of betrayed wifes and husband had no clue anything was really wrong. I've not been cheated on, but you know what I too occassionally get in a fight with my partner I too migth spend a night on the couch and I gather this is fairly normal for most people but I'd never expect that this is giving her or myself permission to go into the arms of another person.

 

The truth is she fooled you good. You thought you knew her, thought you knew what she was capable of well now that is thrown out of the window.

 

Someone mentioned that if you are planning to forgive or even divorce that it's still a good idea to tell family, friends of the affair. It may sound crazy but it makes a lot of sense. If you don't tell people and you stay/leave she will not have learned anything , you will be "the bad guy" which can effect ALOT of bad issues in your life if people believed you are the cause of the failed marriage, issues with your work/town / how your treated etc.

People must know, she must be exposed only then can she realise the pain she'd caused you through humilation. Think "scaring them straight" .

 

I know a good few men/women (some friends some people I abrely knew) who exposed their cheating partner. Some stayed some left but they should have nothing to feel embarrassed or ashamed about because all the focused and disappointment goes to the cheating party.

 

People will not pity you if you remain strong, confident wether you take her back or not. Do not become a "sad panda" you have done no wrong, this COULD be a chance for you to make a fresh start, and remember you can't trust someone 100% while I understand nobody wants to live their life wondering, realise people are capable of anything.

 

Best of luck no matter what you do.

[showmethemoney]

I think you got a wide range of good advise. You should should give yourself more time to really think over what to do. Believe me, if you choose to reconcile you have to be absolutely be sure you can work past you wifes cheating. Also keep your eyes wide open and see if your wife is being open, honest, and remorseful. The fact that she is questioning (get angry) about you questioning her on coming home late is a red flag. To me that means that she really doesn't get it yet and is either attempting to sweep this under the rug (likely) or she could also still be in contact with the OM. The other thing you really need to look at is the fact that you have only been married a very short time and in all honesty you should still be in the honeymoon faze. Having a three month period where money is tight and tensions are high is nothing. From what I read this was all in your (and wifes) plan. You did this to eventually better your job position and salary which it looks like it did. The fact that she went out and cheated shows a big lack of maturity and self entitlement on her part.

 

I would 180 at this time to allow you to think clearly. This is a good time to get yourself into IC to help you with that.

[Steve L]

Before this is over, and it is. You will vomit, scream at god, curse your own existence, cry almost daily. It will constantly be on your mind. BUT, go to work man, its all you got right now to separate you from it. You will find sympathetic coworkers that have been through this as well as comfort. Dont tell family to early because if you are too weak to end it they will forever be judgemental of your spouse adding further detriment to your already strained relationship. It will take, and ask around, you will find the same, about a year. At that point you will likely want a divorce. This year is important for two reasons. You will have likely exhausted every avenue of reconciliation by that time and realize that it is just no use. You will find a great number of resources on the internet claiming to save your marriage...dude they are all SELLING something. People will spend their last dime to save their marriage and these people prey on this. Nothing you read, hear, discuss or TAKE will remove the fact that she was intentionally removing all of her clothing, allowing him to enter her until he achieved orgasm. THAT buddy is tough language for a guy to take this early in discovery, but, it will run through your head every day for the rest of your life if you stay with her. Divorce. Spend some reflecting time. Have some casual sex, meet some new friends, a new woman, and start your life over. Im doin it right now and it is friggin GREAT. 14 mos. later it still hurts a little but most of it is just a loss of familiarity. Also, if you speak in complete sentences, have any kind of a job at all, no addictions and most of your teeth you are gonna find women crawling out of the woodwork.....takes a bit, but it does come. good luck.

[pelicanpreacher]

JB, you've got a lot of thinking to do. Though you've got email evidence, you need to backtrack your time to know the moment her relationship with the OM started for that is the day you were fooled and the music died. You also really do need to take a hard look at yourself, any words spoken by you in anger, and behavior atypical to your normal disposition to determine how this impacted her mindset during this time period for future reference on how you'll handle yourself when the cycle comes around again. Next, you have to take a hard look at the woman who professed to love you. What are her strengths you admired, weaknesses you could shoulder, and qualities she possessed that, at one time, gave you the impression that she could make a suitable life partner? She has definately revealed some weaknesses you weren't aware of if she is capable of lying, deceiving, and cheating you blind in plain sight. Can you shoulder all of her weaknesses?

 

Its said that "He who acts in anger rides a mad horse" so try to maintain your temper and other emotions in check so that your rational sense of reason doesn't become clouded by the angst of the heart. Yes, you must go through the rollercoaster of emotions that typify the process of grieving death for the marriage you once had has spiritually died. If you choose to reconcile it must be based upon a new spiritual foundation for the current one is untrustworthy to build on. This, in my opinion, will be the most difficult task that you have to face for trust is based on the history of truth which will require you to not only forgive the past but to forget it to build a new future of trust upon truth as well. You stated earlier on that when you woke up the next morning you hoped that the shattering truth of your previous discovery had all been a dream which is why the authors of the Bible specifically isolated infidelity, due to the severity of its breach to the marital vows, as a tenant for one spouse to divorce another for, as others have posted previously, you can't unknow what you know or unfeel what you feel in your life and a lifetime can be a very, very, very long time!

[Steve L]

Please give me an update a few days in. I am curious and even though I will never know you,I care about you. This is so bacause I reacted positvely absolutely the same way, and felt the near death gut wrench that you are feeling as dealt to me by my wife of 17 yrs. Read my post., then read it again. If you started off like me you will very likely END UP like me. A great many just walk out, to hell with it. I dont think you are that guy. AND its a bad idea, because you leave with a scarred heart, having learned nothing and living with "what ifs" Put your time in, try to fix it, that way you know you tried. OMG are you in for the time of your life when the pain begins to go away. I believe now that had I never been taken so low, I could never appreciate the tremendous high that I am experiencing now. Good luck brother and keep us posted.

[Alady]

I have been married for 35 years. When I look back over the years of my marriage, there have been many good years and some excrutiatingly tough years...things that happen in the course of a life that take every ounce of strength you can muster to get through. There will be times that you will need to cling to each other for strength. I am talking about things that are common to all of us as we go through life.

 

Your wife's actions show immaturity, selfishness and a lack of commitment to you, your marriage and your vows to each other. If she bails on these things so easily, so quickly at the first sign of trouble in your young marriage, you have a lot to think about. I feel for you, I really do. I would not even consider staying in this marriage without counseling.

 

You need a partner in life, for life through good times and bad. I wish you the best.

[avenger]

I would leave.....

She was hiding it.....