propelling111 Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 So i been with this person for about 7 month now and i truly can say that i love her and that i give everything that i have to her. But there are things about me in the past that she doesnt like and can not let go. Mainly because i am not a virgin and she is. Things were great for the 6 month but then i went to college and things changed dramatically. She stopped really talking to me on the phone, and no more texting. So i approach her and she tells me that she is not happy and can not get over my past. She tells me its nothing that i did but she just cant get over it and its not fair for me. So she broke up with me. What should i do? should i persue her or just let it go. Will she come back and realize that the present is what counts? We broke up and got back together 1 month ago over the same issue.
DanaL Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 Since you can't change your past and she can't let go of your past, I don't see a way forward. Also, would you really want to be with someone who is judging you about things in your past? Things that you did BEFORE you even met her? Also is it just that you're not a virgin? If it is, then she doesn't sound as mature as you need her to be.
dxb Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 It sucks when you're on the other side of the coin too. But ultimately, you can't punish people for what they've done before they met you. She can't punish you for it, but if she doesn't like it, that doesn't leave you both with many options. If a person can't accept your past, then the two of you don't have a future.
Author propelling111 Posted October 31, 2008 Author Posted October 31, 2008 Yea, she cant get over it because she says that i didnt value my virginity. The thing is i told her i changed and im different and that she should look at how i have treated her and not at something that didnt have anything to do with her. Its just hard to move on because we were so good and i gave it my all and i didnt do anythign wrong to her when we were together.
dxb Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 Its just hard to move on because we were so good and i gave it my all and i didnt do anythign wrong to her when we were together. I know. That's the problem with people. They're not rational. At the end of it, not everyone has the same values - if you didn't 'value' your virginity (whatever that means), then that's your lookout, not her's. She's in for a hell of a shock if she starts dating again. Things were great for the 6 month but then i went to college and things changed dramatically. I have to be honest though, I don't think this is really about virginity (or otherwise). The dynamic of your relationship changed. I think that made her decide that she didn't want to be in that relationship, and so she's used something that you can't change (ie. your past) as an excuse to get out. Either way, she's not handled it well.
Dexter Morgan Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 So i been with this person for about 7 month now and i truly can say that i love her and that i give everything that i have to her. But there are things about me in the past that she doesnt like and can not let go. Mainly because i am not a virgin and she is. There is a train wreck waiting to happen. I had a gf once justify cheating because I had been with a few people before we met and she had not. She actually saw it as getting on even ground with me and that she was entitled to have more than one person since I had:lmao:
dxb Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 The numbers game's always a tricky one. A number doesn't tell the whole story, which is why in relationships, whenever I'm asked, I don't tell. It's irrelevant whether you're the 1st, 10th or 100th person your partner has slept with; what really matters is whether or not you're going to be the last.
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