he wants to get back together after atwo month break

[Lizzyb6938]

Anyways I saw my boyfriend today for the post break up conversation. We ended up having the most lovely day I could possibly image. I was so nervous about seeing him, i dont think id ever been more nervous in my life. It started out really awkward- but he kept nudging me and poking me and trying to touch me. He then noticed I'd lost alot of weight and kept trying to feel my rib cage to feel how much. He insisted that I have a huge lunch so he took me out and got me a chicken burger and a chicken ceasar salad, as well as some of his pasta. We were just chatting and talking about life and reminising about things we'd done and it was lovely.

 

I had something on my face and he wiped it off and said 'your so cute I love you.' I kinda ignored this comment and just kept chatting. We talked about our plans next year etc. He then said he loved me again but this time I kinda starting crying, and was so embarassed to be making a scene in a public place. He paid for the lunch, i composed myself and then he took me for icecream (what we always get).

 

He kept trying to hold my hand and hug me. In the end I let him and he kissed me while we were getting icecream. We walked back to the car holding hands and we drove to the park. When we were getting out of the car he said he needed to figure some stuff out in his head like why he was pushing away the best thing that ever happened to him. We went to the park, went on the swing (he pushed me) and then lay down on the grass and just talked about everything. He kept saying how much he loved me, how he's missed me. We talked about me having dinner with his friends and what was said about how I brought out the best in him (which he agreed on). Then I was talking about how my friends who are having similar problems to us about stress, next year etc and Matt said maybe we should set a good example for Gabby and Martin and get back together. I said no babe you're still confused and I think you should be alone until you solve all these questions. He agreed and we just lay down on the grass and hugged and kissed and just talked about us and how much we loved one another, how much it sucked that we met when we did, but how maybe this is how it was meant to be that we meet now and be together later. I suggested a year apart would be good but he said he didn't want it to be that long. He said he wanted next year to include alot more Lizzy.

 

He said that this day was the most wonderful he'd had in a very long time and just kept hugging me. We laughed about stupid things, cried as well and just hugged and chatted and it was wonderful. We both just wanted to lie there forever and never move and never let the world find us. He told me he'd been looking at my face book photos so many times and was writing 'i love you' in the steam on the shower like he always used to. His background picture of us on his phone was the same, he'd still kept all our old photos and stuff on his shelves and hadn't moved the teddy bear I gave him from the bed. We came back to my house and I gave him a letter I had written him. He said he'd been writing me one too and would send it to me. We hugged and kissed for ten minutes and he said that in the book of his life he saw me on the pages before and on the pages in the future and he wanted to scim read all that was in between. Basically we both said that when he comes back we'll do the same day over again and figure it out from there. It was the most beautiful day of my life, for one day nothing and no one could find us. We ended up saying goodbye and he said I love you again and asked if we could still talk before January and I said ok.

 

He later wrote me a message saying 'thank your for the most perfect day. I love you and I want to be the man of your dreams.' I wrote back saying you already are, I cant stop smiling. And he said 'me neither I want to see you smiling again soon.' I wish today could have lasted forever. Hopefully we'll have many more be it January or in the future.

[Danielle46]

Well Im glad to hear that everything went well when you saw him! Thats always a good thing!

 

It really just seems like he needs some time to sort everything out...he obviously loves you a lot & is just really confused about the current situation of his life.

 

I truly think that given some time, he'll be able to process everything and get a grip on everything & be able to make time for the things he loves as well (you). It's good that you got a chance to see just how difficult this is on him as well...because I dont know about you, but that was a fear I had when I was enduring this whole thing...the uncertainty of how HE felt about it all... and sometimes it really takes seeing them in person to fully understand their feelings!

 

I applaud you for standing your ground as well and flat out telling him to really take some time & figure everything out...because I know you don't want to just get back together for the pure sake of just being together when you don't know how the quality of the relationship will be. So that's awesome that you were able to muster up the courage and the words to say that to him!!

 

I think that you will do just fine, although I know it will be difficult. In a way, you have the upper hand now by telling him you really believe that "space" is best for right now. Him seeing that you are strong like that will make him appreciate you even more!

 

So, how have you been holding up since you spoke with him??

[Lizzyb6938]

Yeah not too bad. On my facebook at the moment it says 'lizzy is still smiling :-)' coz i said in my message back to him that i was still smiling since he left. so since then he's been sending me smiley faces and stuff to my inbox which is cute.

 

Yeah i really did need to say no as hard as it is because he just needs time to himself for a while and i though getting back together right then would be a bad thing to do. Good getting the upper hand back too. It was an awesome day.

 

Strangest thing has been happening though. The message he sent me after he left 'thankyou for a such a perfect day. i love you and want to be the man of your dreams' keeps appearing and disappearing in my phone. Like one time I'll turn it on and it will be there and the next it won't. I've had this hapen before but I don't know it has kind of freaked me out a little lol.

 

I really want to see him again before he goes. He was kind of suggesting it on Monday. and in one of these messages he said I want to see your smile again soon. but i guess I'll just play it by ear. I just want to keep having that day over again forever.

[Danielle46]

That's kinda funny about the message he sent you appearing and then disappearing...cause stuff like that normally wouldn't catch your attention all that much but since this whole situation is going on, you're more alert to stuff like that, especially things concerning him.

 

I was the same way...when we were apart from each other, everytime I saw a truck like his, especially at night b/c I couldnt see all the details, I would think it was him. He has some custom stuff done to his truck so it's relatively distinguishable from other trucks, but at night, when driving, it can be hard to tell. My phone also did stuff like that with messages, so I know what you mean...you almost want to take it as a sign.

 

Just try not to over-think stuff like that because it may not mean anything.

 

I dont see anything wrong with seeing him again before he leaves, Im sure he would want to see you also. But yeah, I would try to leave that up to him, since he is the one who requested the space...but Im sure he'll bring it up!

 

Good to know you're doing okay and that you have the upper hand...that always helps knowing you were the one to kinda get the ball in your court for a while.

 

Keep me posted on how everything goes! I know you will do just fine and I wish for nothing but the best for you, as always! =)

[Lizzyb6938]

thanks you've been so helpful!

well i called him this morning (stupid advice from friend) I really shouldn't have. We chatted for a bit, everything was fine. My phone was about to die so i said call me back later tonight which he said he would. I'm kicking myself for calling him. After all he was the one who initially asked for space, even though he took it back later. I just really want to see him again, but i'm not going to suggest it. I hope he does though. I really miss him, monday was the best day ever. I really wished he could have gone away on Tuesday, the day after the wonderful day, so there would be no days in between of should i contact him before he goes or shouldn't i. he was the one who made the last contact with the wonderful messages so i thought giving him a buzz would be ok. oh well guess we'll see tonight.

[Danielle46]

Well when the whole thing happened with me initially, I also called him...but then I just decided to stop with that in order to give him a true feel for what life would be like without me.

 

So you can always start now with the no contact thing & see what happens. Trust me, if he loves you as much as he says, he will come around when he sees that you haven't. It may take a little while before he caves in & contacts you but I can bet that without your constant effort to contact him, he'll want to contact you.

 

=)

 

But yeah, hopefully last night went well & hopefully he called you. I know how hard it can be when they say they will do one thing & then they don't so I hope he did call, but just keep in mind that if he didn't, it doesnt necessarily mean anything.

[Lizzyb6938]

hey danielle,

 

he did call. it was interesting. on monday he was just absolutely wonderful and never wanted to let me go as you know.

 

well we spoke last night and he was kind of a bit more blaze. like we had a fine conversation about stuff that was going on like me studying, packing etc but he just seemed a bit more removed. but he's always a little distant on the phone compared to person because it's late at night and he lying down and sort of half asleep. Anyways he mentioned me going out this weekend- whether i was. i said possibly and he's like oh are you going to meet boys. and i said well i guess i will meet boys, he was just probing a bit and i said i didn't want to talk about it. he asked if anyone had tried to kiss me since we broke up. i said yes. he asked whether they had succeeded and i said no i ran away to which he laughed and laughed.

 

because we had such a fun wonderful amazing day monday i suggested that we do it one more time before he left monday. he's very busy with family and seeing people before he leaves (coz he'll be away of christmas and new years) but was trying to factor me in. he said what about we do it next year when i come back. he said i could also come to his friends 'were not going to be here for christmas christmas dinner' on saturday. I asked if he wanted me to go and he said 'i don't mind' i kept pushing it asking if he wanted me to go and he kept saying 'i care about whether you come or not but i'm not making that decision i'll leave it up to you.' which is enfuriating. i don't think i'm going to go. i think it'd be weird going to this thing with all his friends there and them wondering whats going on. i think it would be a bit pathetic honestly. he was a bit ambivalent- but he's always ambivalent about stuff. like heaps of times i'll ask if he wants me to come to something and he'll be like 'i'll leave it up to you.'

 

i'm a bit confused actually- this was the guy who was totally in love with me monday, didn't want to let me go, kept saying how much he loved me and missed me. he said he wanted to contact me in europe and even wanted to buy a phone card possibly. it was the most wonderful day- it think about it now and kind of cry because it was that wonderful and now i don't know whats going on. i almost wish we'd never had it coz it's just made me so confused.

 

i just don't know what to think. he said he loved me on the phone. i think i'm going to just write him a msg saying. 'i'd love to see you before you go but i think it might be a bit weird on saturday. have the best trip ever- don't forget the tower of London :-) love lizzy'

 

maybe i'm just over analysing things too much- i mean maybe he was just tired like he always is on the phone. i mean you don't say all those things and then not mean them two days later right?

[Lizzyb6938]

yep no contact once i send that message. i wish i hadn't called and just left it. actually if i'm wishing for things, i wish that he had gone away the day after the wonderful day. that would have been great timing. oh well. neways i'll just get on with life- been asked out so i might go and see what that is like. i'm just a bit confused right now danielle. i mean you say alll the most wonderful things in the world and he looked the happiest i've ever seen him, and then he's a little ambivalent. what does it mean?

[Danielle46]

He's probably feeling confused on how to act...

 

He may want to seem like he is all over you but at the same time he may find it easier on himself to deal with everything if he can just distance himself a little. I dont think you should take this an any sort of indication that he loves you less or anything...he's probably just trying to cope with everything in the best way he can.

 

Everything that happens, and the way that it happens...if it's opposite your expectations or what you expected..will seem like a sign for something. I know exactly what that feeling is like. You expect them to react one way to something and when they react differently it's like you feel lost & confused b/c that's not how WE wanted them to respond. But you have to understand that he's going through a lot right now and this is probably a pretty heavy weight on his shoulders to be dealing with this.

 

Give it a little time and see what happens. See if he initiates seeing you again before he leaves...but be understanding if he cant give you much time b/c of his family and friend commitments...especially family. He is leaving them for 2 months as well.

 

I wish I could just snap my fingers and make everything better b/c I know how extremely difficult and confusing all of this is...Emotions are soo hard to deal with sometimes!

 

But all in all, Im sure he loves you just the same and Im sure he feels the same inside as he did Monday when you saw him, he's probably just preoccupied with his trip and leaving family/friends/you that he has a lot on his mind. Just take each day as it comes & lets see what happens with him before he leaves.

[Lizzyb6938]

do you think i shouldn't go? he told me to message either way tonight when i'd decided. one of my friends thinks i should say - 'sorry can't make it, it will be a bit awkward but if you have time to drop by for a hour or two before you leave i'd love to see you. but i understand if your too busy. love lizzy.' but i don't know maybe i'll just say ' hey, would love to see you before you go, but tomorrow night might be a little awkward lol. have the best trip, don't forget tower of London :-) love lizzy.' or should i just totally leave it?

 

ahhhh lol. so hard to know what to do sometimes. regardless though after this i'm just going to totally leave it. i'm actually looking forward to him going away actually, just so i don't have to stress anymore.

[northstar1]

do you think i shouldn't go? he told me to message either way tonight when i'd decided. one of my friends thinks i should say - 'sorry can't make it, it will be a bit awkward but if you have time to drop by for a hour or two before you leave i'd love to see you. but i understand if your too busy. love lizzy.' but i don't know maybe i'll just say ' hey, would love to see you before you go, but tomorrow night might be a little awkward lol. have the best trip, don't forget tower of London :-) love lizzy.' or should i just totally leave it?

 

ahhhh lol. so hard to know what to do sometimes. regardless though after this i'm just going to totally leave it. i'm actually looking forward to him going away actually, just so i don't have to stress anymore.

 

My two cents..........the guy is leaving for 2 months and the best he can offer you is to have you attend a function with other people? To me, that's not fair to you. If he can't make time (even an hour or two as you said), then that would seem to be a strong signal of where his head is at. I wouldn't say "I understand if you are busy". That makes it seem okay for him to not see you. I mean, do what you think is best for YOU, but I just know if I was in your shoes, I'd skip the function, let him go off and go no contact. Let him see what life without you is like.

[Lizzyb6938]

yeah i agree northstar, that's what i'm going to do. I mean he might say all this wonderful stuff to me on Monday- that he loves me, wants to be with me, that's he's so unimaginably happy when we're together. but at the end of the day those are just words, not actions. I'm just going to say- would love to see you but saturday with everyone might be a little awkward. have the best trip, don't forget the tower of london. love lizzy. and just go into no contact from there and let him process what he's done. i just don't get it really. he said the most wonderful things monday- like that he never wanted to let me go, that he wanted to take me with him, that this was the a perfect day, one of the best he's ever had.

[Danielle46]

Well if you choose not to go, then I would just keep it very simple and say "Sorry but I wont be able to make it, hope you have a great time & Ill talk to you later"...He already knows where you stand in terms of wanting to see him...obviously you would love for that to happen, you've told him that already, so if I were you, I would wait and see what he does about it.

 

Like I said before, when he sees that you can go about your own life & do your own things, he'll begin to think about you & what he's missing. However, if you constantly provide a "safety net", in a way, then he won't get the real chance to miss you.

 

I cant say what's best for you, only you can, as always. But think about it before you jump to a conclusion...weigh your options and decide which road is best to take.

[northstar1]

yeah i agree northstar, that's what i'm going to do. I mean he might say all this wonderful stuff to me on Monday- that he loves me, wants to be with me, that's he's so unimaginably happy when we're together. but at the end of the day those are just words, not actions. I'm just going to say- would love to see you but saturday with everyone might be a little awkward. have the best trip, don't forget the tower of london. love lizzy. and just go into no contact from there and let him process what he's done. i just don't get it really. he said the most wonderful things monday- like that he never wanted to let me go, that he wanted to take me with him, that this was the a perfect day, one of the best he's ever had.

 

You deserve nothing less. Again, who knows where his head is at, but you deserve a lot more

[Danielle46]

I cant believe we had another person post on here! haha Crazy! It's been just the two of us conversing for the longest time! It's nice to have another opinion though for you Im sure =).

[Lizzyb6938]

i like what your said better than what i said danielle. keep it short and simple. yep no safety net anymore. just say that and just take it one day at a time from there. exactly he knows that i want to see him so i don't really need to say it again in the message. okey dokey i'll do that tonight and just leave it.

 

thanks!

[Lizzyb6938]

haha i know, thanks northstar! look at the end of the day i know he cares about me, he wouldn't say all those things if he didn't, he wouldn't cry or have sent those nice messages or done anything like that. but basically he needs a good kick up the ass like you did with your bf danielle. he wanted this so i'm no longer going to be the safety net, i'm going to leave him alone and concentrate on me. I've honestly never seen him so happy as he was on monday and i know that he doesn't want to let me go but he needs to be reminded that he did this and i might not necessarily be there to fall back on. ok no contact from now on i'm resolved lol

[Danielle46]

Well that's good to hear. Im glad you decided to take a stand and just really do what he asked for. He can't get mad at you really because you're only doing what he requested of you...which was time & space.. so don't forget that!

 

We all know that he cares immensely for you but it's great that you decided to not be the backbone for him and again the "safety net"...he needs to know that by making this decision he is in fact risking the loss of you...not to say it WILL happen but only time will tell.

 

He will come to the realization, it's just going to take time =). He will see what he's missing and what he's possibly giving up and it'll make him think!

 

=)

[Lizzyb6938]

ok well development,

basically ended up writing him a message saying 'hey sorry not gonna make it tonight, might be too awkward with everyone there anyways. have a great night' he wrote back saying 'hey pumpkin, how was work? are you sure about that? it might be weird to everyone else, but then i'm weird too lol.' so i wrote back saying 'yeah that's true, um alright, i'll come over around 6ish.' so i have a shower, get changed and he writes me a message saying 'hey pumpkin, so good news, alot more girls in the group are coming than i thought (he thought it might be all boys), do you think it will be fine or still awkward?' so i'm like f*** this and i call him to see what the f is going on (shouldn't have called, i know, i know).

 

we speak normally, he seems chatty and his normal nice self. said that he loved me ( i hesistated in saying it back, but did) and i said so what's going on tonight. he said i don't know are you coming. i said well you seemed a bit ambivalent. so he said well i've been thinking about it for the last hour and i don't know maybe it would be a bit strange with everyone whispering and trying to figure out whats sort of going on. I think basically what happened is that he checked with his friends to see who was coming and their like 'oh Lizzy is coming, what's going on?' i said well ok then, i agree, i thought that today so i won't come. he's like oh are you sure? i said well i don't know i kinda want to come, it would be nice to see you and everyone. he said yeah it would be ok good, glad weve made a decision. i said, do you still think it would be weird.

 

he's like yeah a little so i said ok then well i won't go. he said i was thinking maybe monday would be better, lunch on monday like last monday which was so wonderful. i just want the last time that i see you before i leave to be like that rather than spending the whole night with everyone else wondering what's going on. i said well i don't know if i can do monday, i'm busy. he's like are you sure? i said yeah. he asked 'are you sure you can't just fit it in?' i said well i really don't know. he's like ok. i said tonights better for me, but i know it will be awkward. he said yeah. so i said well monday i finish at 11:30. he said well that's fine we'll have brunch, where do you want to go? i said i don't mind. he said well lets have a think, i'll speak to you tomorrow.

 

i don't know if i should go or not. honestly i kind of enfuriated at his ambivalence but then i did think it would be awkward too. in fact during the week i was saying no way am i going, his friends would just wonder what is going on and i refuse to go out with matt and them while we don't know what is going on. so i totally agree with him but i'm still frustrated. should i go on monday? he seemed pretty keen but i just don't know.

[Danielle46]

Well, I'd have to say that's completely up to you...

I mean if you decided not to get together with him...would you regret it? or not?

 

And only you know if he was really acting like he wanted to see you before he left...I mean he was the one who made the suggestion to see you Monday before he left...so take that into consideration as well.

 

It's really up to you...totally your call on this one...b/c you have to think about what you really feel inside and if you want to do this or not. And I know how you feel about the whole "being around him & everyone wondering whats going on" type of thing....it does make for an uncomfortable evening...so you have to consider that as well... as angering as it is that he came out and said it would probably be akward, it's also the truth...I mean you felt it also.

 

So, maybe if you do decide to see him Monday, you could just make it short & sweet...don't over endulge him with your presence, just make it known that you love & appreciate him but that you wont always be right there at his beckon call. You do need to continue to stand on your own ground and on your own two feet.

 

So think about it and make what you think will be the wisest decision in the end. Dont jump to any sudden conclusions...really consider if seeing him again will benefit the two of you for the outcome or not. Again, only you would be able to determine this.

 

If he seemed very genuine about seeing you then maybe you should consider it....but if he seemed at all hesitant about it, and you felt like he was JUST saying it b/c that particular night with all the friends around didn't work out, then maybe you shouldn't.

Think back to his tone and his body language and decide which one it falls under, either genuine or not, and then think about how YOU would feel after either

a) going to see him...or

b) not seeing him

Which would HONESTLY make you feel better in the end?...B/c essentially, you ALWAYS need to think of yourself & consider your feelings, especially during a time such as this. =)

 

Let me know if you need any more advice. I know this seems kind of wishy-washy but it's just one of those things that you need to tap into your intuition for...I know you will make the right decision! =)

[Lizzyb6938]

he did seem like he did genuinely want to see me. but i've been getting really rilled up about it all day just thinking- i am not going to be anyone's doormat and see him when he decides he wants to see me. but maybe i'm being a bit silly.

 

actually this is the first time my mum hasn't stuck up for him. she's been sort of understanding where he and i have been coming from the last couple of weeks but for the first time she's said- no this is wrong, why would he have cared so much about what other people think, don't let him think he can dictate things and come and go as he pleases. and I'm kind of thinking the same thing. I don't want him to think that he can just dictate things and I'll always be there to fall back on.

 

But at the same time I do want to see him because when he does see me, every ounce of doubt is gone and he never wants to leave. in fact i think it might be better to tell him that I'm not going to be a doormat when i see him because i think it will have a greater input.

 

i know i thought it would be awkward too but his ambivalence for the last little while has just made me furious and I feel like I need to take a stand. I wrote this msg, haven't sent it yet but i am tempted to

 

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]'Hey, I can’t make it tomorrow. Got too much work and I honestly think that it would be good for both of us if we just leave it for now. You just need to go far away for a little while and figure yourself out. You’ve always been indecisive, but about dinner and donuts. I love you but I love myself too and for that reason right now I just need you to bugger off. Have a good flight.' [/sIZE][/FONT]

Anyways i'll hear what he has to say tonight, but i'm not going to make it easy. I'm going to be the one indecisive and saying oh I'm not really sure and get him to beg.

[Danielle46]

Hey there!

 

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you, I've been soo swamped with school stuff lately, with the end of the semester fast approaching!

 

Anyways, I still think it's good that you stood your ground. I know it's hard but hey...if he really, truly, whole-heartedly wants to be with you & feels that you are the one for him then he will do anything & everything to get with you. But it probably is the best thing for right now to just give each other some time & space to get yourselves in order.

 

It seems that a little part of YOU really wants this break to happen...and honestly, this is probably the best time for it. It's much harder to endure a break when the two of you are in close proximity to each other. But since he's going to be away in Europe, it should make things slightly easier b/c you won't find yourself wondering what he's doing, if he's just sitting at home? Or is he out with friends?....you already know... he's in Europe. And Im sure that being so far from you for this period of time will also help him to realize life and what it's truly like w/o you, to see if that's what he actually wants or not.

 

It's true that you cannot be that doormat for him to step on & use whenever he feels he needs to. You are human and you too have feelings that need to be accounted for. The situation would be different had you been the one to initiate the break...but we both know, as does he, that that was NOT the case.

 

He made his bed, and now he has to lay in it...and hopefully he'll see that laying in it alone isn't what he wants. (metaphorically speaking of course, lol...not insinuating anything!)

 

Just give him a chance...if he truly, like I said wants to be with you, then you haven't blown your chances of being with him. If you are really worth his time & effort, then he will make the time and the effort to be with you.

 

You both seem to just need some time for right now. =)

 

How have you been by the way??

[gd26]

Hi, I actually took the time to go through this whole thread.

 

I don't understand all this kissing and calling between you two. You are broken up. You should not allow him to continue kissing and calling you, etc.

 

I did this myself with a guy 4 years ago. I really cared about him, and after he broke up with me, I still continued to cuddle and be affectionate with him etc. BIG MISTAKE!

 

The longer you keep communicating with him, the more you will hurt later.

 

He might care about you, but obviously he doesn't care enough to actually be with you. I know this is hard to grasp, as he did so many sweet things for you in the past. The guy I was with 4 years ago was the same way... he did all kinds of sweet things for me like that too. But he still didn't love me enough to be my boyfriend.

 

I can only hope for your sake that you get the message that he broke up with you and stop letting him stay in your life. Don't make excuses about med school. I am starting med school this year, and I would never let a quality person go just because I am busy. In fact, the last guy I was with was also a medical student, and he still had time to be with me even during his final exams week! If someone truly cares, being busy doesn't stop anything. It's just an excuse.

[Danielle46]

gd26,

 

You could very well be right, however, the option still remains that he does in fact love her. Some men really have a hard time getting through emotional roller coasters such as this. My boyfriend went through a similar situation...being stressed with school and some other personal stuff in his life as well....we ended up taking a break, but in the end we got back together and have been absolutely wonderful ever since.

 

We're only human and sometimes even though we love something immensely, we just need a little time to ourselves. I am not dismissing your opinion by any means though. Both are absolutely an option...it's just that many people that post on here are so negative toward relationships due to the fact that they had one blow up in their face...but not all cases are an absolute end.

 

I think that Lizzy does realize that this may or may not be the end of her relationship...but she does need both encouraging and dscouraging words. She knows that she cannot remain a doormat for him...but that doesn't mean that all of her emotions, feelings and connections with him will just fade away immediately. Anything could happen during this break between them.

 

Its much easier to HEAR that you "shouldnt" talk to them than it is to actually carry out that action.She really needs to make that decision for herself. And I think she is at the point now that she has decided THAT IS what she needs to do. It just takes time, and a trip through the process, to reach that milestone, where one finally makes that decision.

 

Everyone deals with and handles things differently. Like I have always said...it's damn near impossible for anyone's story to be completely conveyed (or understood) through a website...no one can know YOUR situation better than YOU...

 

Just go with your gut. In the end, you'll reach that decision that works best for you. Sometimes it takes trial & error to learn what really is the "right" thing to do.

 

Best of luck as always Lizzy! I know you can make it!!! =)

[Lizzyb6938]

Hi gd, thanks for reading the thread. yeah i know exactly what you mean. i didn't let him hug me or kiss me for most of the day. I really only let him when he said he wanted to get back together. He said he wanted to alot during the day and I was the one to say no. I told him no because he was confused and didn't know what he wanted and getting back together now would be disastrous. HE was the one suggesting we get back together and wanted to figure it out not me, I think that's where the difference is. yes we kissed and cuddled and stuff but the whole time he said he wanted to get back together and how he didn't ever want to loose me. I was the one saying no you need to be alone to figure yourself out.

 

I understand your concern, I have been rather concerned about it since but he's gone now and I've said no contact while he's away so we can both figure out what we want. to be honest, like danielle said, I really need this time as much as he does. Yeah i think the medicine thing is a bit crap as well, poor excuse. he's never made excuses like that before no matter how busy he's been so yeah I agree. But i agree with Danielle too that sometime people just get confused and need to figure out what they want. I'm letting him figure out what he wants while I do the same. I'm not putting my life on pause, actually went on a date this week, nor am I telling myself yep he'll be back he'll be back. but I just think to myself he said he wanted to get back together and I was the one to say no and if he really does feel what he told me that day and wanted to get back together as much as he said then that's not going to go away in a month. But no I'm not going to be a door matt and put my life on hold and let him come and goes as he pleases, believe you me, I have way too much pride.