family man Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I will start off by telling how we met.. I am now 30 and she is now 29.. I was working at an independent car dealer and for some reason unknown to me at the time I felt I needed to up and change jobs and move on to a dealership.. where did get hired at this time I am 23yrs old.. worked there a few days to what do I see walking across the room was this most amazing young lady.. I knew from the first time I seen her that I was in love. not only by here looks but as I watched her I seen she was a kind and caring person. couple weeks go by and I am in ahh over her.. I try to say things to her here in there in passing and such... till one day Finlay asked her for her for a phone number or an e mail. I get both e mail and phone number and I am scared and excited at the same time... so I go home and sign on ready to talk to her... door opens its her on line.. we talk and carry on instantly hitting it off.. well come to find out she is in the middle of getting a divorce from her ****ty husband of 2 yrs.. and she has a little girl by him.. so to carry on.. we go out one night and hit it off great, meeting up with her friends and all just having a good time..so me and her seem to be going some where so she invites me over to her house couple days later.. I ring the door bell to have this beautiful little girl come to the window next to the door. just looking up at me with her big blue eyes.. I walk in and me and her mom talk. I sit on the couch and Alexis walks up to me and asks me if I would like to play Barbie's with her and I say sure slide off the couch and start to play babies with her..and I was hooked from that night on..chas and I was both inseparable for time.. heck years.. well things are going great we are three or so years into the relationship and I have come to love lex and think of her as my own cause her dads worthless and never around anyway.. moving on we move out her house after I had moved in for a few months and got a brand new house of our own together and at this time not married.. things at this point still awsome.. well work then gets slow. we both work at same place so bills and house payments get tight and we both get frustrated and began to argue some. well long story moving on we left that house due to builder fault's and ground settled.. moved into an apt.. lived there for a yr or so and bills still there and were getting into more fights for no reasons...at this point I am still in love with lex and Chas and still loving lex like shes my own cause she is... well at this point Chas is tired of arguing and tired of me saying hurtful things to win the fights we have ( which nothing I said about her was even true just being an ass whole) so I move out and get my own apt.. well couple months go by and I am trying to deal with it.. next thing you know I am out ridding my hayabusa like I had been doing with friends to ease my mind when a tragic accident took the life of my great friend right in front of me dude to a car not paying attention.. I call Chas frantic and all and call mom and dad and all I can of course after calling 911.. well shes there for me with the funeral and I am leaning on her cause I need her.. we get invited to go out of town for a day or two to ease the pain some.. we do and we talk and try to work things out. we make up and things look to be going for the best.. now at this point and time we both decide to make a go of it.. well it turns July and I take Chas and lex and some other close friend to Fl to Walt Disney world.. this is where I ask Chas to marry me... she says yes after a few Min's of talking about some of the things that had been bothering her in the relationship.. man I am so happy and excited at this point.. and this is last yr by the way. well months roll by and money is tight again and things start to get rough.. I am hard to talk to and she cant really come to me cause I just don't want to hear about whats going wrong now.. what money we are short on this and that.. well Christmas rolls around and its going ok.. now it turned July and I talk to her on the phone and she sounds different and ended up telling me she was tired up trying to keep it going that I said I would change and haven't and all.. So i am crushed.. keep in mind we haven't lived together since my friends passing on 11.26.06 we would try to see each other as much as possible on weekend and such but even then I felt overwhelmed like i just didn't have enough time to do or say what all I needed to tell her and just ended up messing those times up.. now the break up has been from 7.27.08 and up to now.. I am crushed with out my Chas and my lex and only want to be there for them and show them I have changed! And I know my faults and its hard for me to admit but I have realized and learn to deal with with my faults and change it and it all stems from the way I was raised.. I grew up seeing my parents fight and the way they talked down to each other as she did aswell.. so In my own way I would do this and become accustom to treating people like this.. and this is not the person I am nor want to be and I know this with all my heart I am not going to be that person not just for them but for myself.. I understand I wasn't perfect and I am willing to spend the rest of my life to show them how much I love them.. its now to the point where we hardly speak.. she did come by last weekend and we talked about it and she said she only thinks of me in her future and she thinks of kids it's me.. or another house its me.. and then we make love and all seems like hell yeah its going to be great.. then three days goes by and all seems well then get a call Wednesday night and get the bomb dropped on me again.. with her saying she was confused and missed me and and came over for the wrong reasons felt bad for me and its just not going to work... man I am so heart broken and sad all I want is my family back.. I miss Alexis soo much and pains me to think I may not be there to help her grown up or to see her grow or spend time with her or spend thanksgiving with here or Christmas.. I have done the bad things like text chas confessing my love. but only feels I drive her further away.. but I'm not trying to at all just trying to show and tell her with one more chance Ill be the man I started out to be and not let her down again...I wont let the world struggles get me downa and unfocused again. I don't know I am lost and turned her for advise cause I just don't know how much more of this I can take cause I am about to lose it mentally and lost a lot of weight from the stress and lack of wanting to eat.. I love them so much though.. please help.. I may have left somethings out if you have questions please ask.. as it was hard to put 7 yrs down on e paper with out making it way longer.. thanks p.s she is supposed to call me tonight but I know she don't want to talk about the relationship I just don't know what to say without pushing her away more.
frd150 Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 Hey Family man, Sounds like youve had a rough go of it and its good that you have realised your mistakes. This is tough esp. with a little one involved but as tough as it is you need to put all your words to Chas into action. Merely saying "Ive changed" is different than actually changing in reality. For instance you said that you have lost weight. Well, that physical apearance of a depressed man has caused her to feel sorry for you and then pull back. I know you may not see it that way but ive experienced it. The whole coming over for sex days after happened to me to. Work on you,pull yourself together. The physical change will lead to a mental change and then hopefully she will notice but if not that extra self esteme boost will help you press on if you have to. A little tip. I suspect that your lack of responsees here is due to that rather large paragraph. Make sure that you break things up so that its easier to read. I almost clicked away until I started reading. Oh when you talk to her make sure that you say nothing about the relationship.Maybe talk about Lex or the election:eek: wait,no, that could start an argument. My advice is maybe to back off a bit and give her some room to breath and some time to miss you a bit.
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