fral945 Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 For those of you not originally from the U.S. but that have lived and dated here, are there any things you find odd about the way Americans date or are involved in relationships vs. your own country? I've always been curious how dating and relationships differ around the world and in other cultures.
ohwhyme Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 in london, you sleep with them first from the bar and then you date them, however, in America you have to court them first and then do it. Thats my experience anyway.
Prodigal Princess Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 in london, you sleep with them first from the bar and then you date them, however, in America you have to court them first and then do it. Thats my experience anyway. Same in Australia. People here dont really "date" like they do in America. It's more a process of hanging out casually, hooking up and gradually you do this more and more until things become exclusive. I honestly dont even know anyone who uses the term "dating". It's seems a bit full on, like an interview process or something. American guys have told me that women here are much more easy going about the whole process (easy being the operative word, probably). Most couples I know (actually now that I think about it - all couples I know!) met at the pub or a party, had fun hanging out (read: drinking) together over the course of a few months then decided to be exclusive. You know you're in a real relationship with someone when you spend time with them outside the pub.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 in london, you sleep with them first from the bar and then you date them, however, in America you have to court them first and then do it. Thats my experience anyway. Are you serious? Or was this a joke?
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 Same in Australia. People here dont really "date" like they do in America. It's more a process of hanging out casually, hooking up and gradually you do this more and more until things become exclusive. I honestly dont even know anyone who uses the term "dating". It's seems a bit full on, like an interview process or something. American guys have told me that women here are much more easy going about the whole process (easy being the operative word, probably). Most couples I know (actually now that I think about it - all couples I know!) met at the pub or a party, had fun hanging out (read: drinking) together over the course of a few months then decided to be exclusive. You know you're in a real relationship with someone when you spend time with them outside the pub. Wow. So very, very interesting. The concept is so foreign, I seriously thought he was joking. Huh. I love hearing the differences! You learn something new everyday!
norajane Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 Same in Australia. People here dont really "date" like they do in America. It's more a process of hanging out casually, hooking up and gradually you do this more and more until things become exclusive. I honestly dont even know anyone who uses the term "dating". It's seems a bit full on, like an interview process or something. American guys have told me that women here are much more easy going about the whole process (easy being the operative word, probably). Most couples I know (actually now that I think about it - all couples I know!) met at the pub or a party, had fun hanging out (read: drinking) together over the course of a few months then decided to be exclusive. You know you're in a real relationship with someone when you spend time with them outside the pub. That's how we dated in college (US). We'd hang out in groups doing things, often involving drinking and parties, and we'd be hanging out more often and flirting and then eventually hook up and become a couple. Outside of college, it doesn't work that way. I think it has to do with most people not hanging out with larger mixed groups of friends like in college. So you often don't someone well on first dates because you've never hung out before. That's why work relationships tend to be so common - they get to know each other long before they hook up and become a couple.
Isolde Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 I'm not a big fan of actually having sex before you get to know someone, but I kind of like the idea of hanging out casually first and not being so anal about the whole dating process. Also, for some reason, I find it much easier to talk to European guys than Americans... Americans seem to have much more hangups.
norajane Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 I'm not a big fan of actually having sex before you get to know someone, but I kind of like the idea of hanging out casually first and not being so anal about the whole dating process. Also, for some reason, I find it much easier to talk to European guys than Americans... Americans seem to have much more hangups. I blame the Puritans, damn them. Religious fanatics no one else wanted in their countries settled this place and established its mores. We're still struggling with the results.
OpenBook Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 I blame the Puritans, damn them. Religious fanatics no one else wanted in their countries settled this place and established its mores. We're still struggling with the results. :laugh: Yes, we are after all famous for the Salem Witch Hunts. On the other hand, Europe is famous for the Spanish Inquisition, the Crusades,... and I don't even want to get started on the Middle East...
OpenBook Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 Same in Australia. People here dont really "date" like they do in America. It's more a process of hanging out casually, hooking up and gradually you do this more and more until things become exclusive. I honestly dont even know anyone who uses the term "dating". It's seems a bit full on, like an interview process or something. American guys have told me that women here are much more easy going about the whole process (easy being the operative word, probably). Most couples I know (actually now that I think about it - all couples I know!) met at the pub or a party, had fun hanging out (read: drinking) together over the course of a few months then decided to be exclusive. You know you're in a real relationship with someone when you spend time with them outside the pub. So, as an Australian woman, do you feel free to sleep with whomever you want, without having to worry that people will think you're a hooch? Do your men there (in general) treat women with disrespect if they know the woman "gets around"? or is that not even an issue? That is what we American women face... and it's worse in some parts of the country than others.
Capricciosa Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 . Also, for some reason, I find it much easier to talk to European guys than Americans... Americans seem to have much more hangups. I've had a few long relationships with European guys, and their hangups are just hidden better. Also, my overall impression is that they are much more conservative in their ideas about men's and women's roles. They can be quite charming, however...
Author fral945 Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 I've had a few long relationships with European guys, and their hangups are just hidden better. Also, my overall impression is that they are much more conservative in their ideas about men's and women's roles. They can be quite charming, however... What part of Europe? I always assumed European guys would be more egalitarian when it comes to men and women's roles. I myself am not afraid to go against stereotypes, but I know where I live in America the people here (men and women) are very conservative in their view of male and female roles.
Capricciosa Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 What part of Europe? I always assumed European guys would be more egalitarian when it comes to men and women's roles. I myself am not afraid to go against stereotypes, but I know where I live in America the people here (men and women) are very conservative in their view of male and female roles. The last two were a Belgian and a Brit, who on the surface were quite open, but once I got into the real relationship with each of them, some rather stereotypical views about what makes a woman a woman came out. The Belgian said I did not know how "to follow" and the Brit expected me to do housework in lipstick and stockings, and serve him the minute I woke up in the morning (I kid you not). I am also of European descent, and have spent much time in my Mediterranean homeland. Let me tell ya, I feel ultra-fortunate that I got to grow up female in North America rather than in Europe. I do see a lot of conservative 1950s views in the dating threads here, so there seems to be some sort of old fashioned etiquette that people are buying into. It is a little bit regressive, as far as I'm concerned. So maybe that's what you're referring to.
CommitmentPhobe Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 I concur, in the UK it's generally drink, hookup, maybe have a relationship US women are definitely more formal about their dating.
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