reelbigfish Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Hey - broke up with my girl back in June. She needed space and subsequently started seeing someone else about 3 weeks later. I did the normal beg and plead for a little bit (but not too bad) and then started NC about a month ago. I did send her a b-day ecard on Oct 12th for her bday but otherwise no contact. She sent me an email Sunday: I feel like a terrible person because it has taken me so long to send you a message. I really appreciate the birthday e-card - it was really nice that you remembered! Also, congrats on the GMAT! Not that I am a facebook stalker or anything but apparently you did well ..... What are you planning on doing next...not law school hopefully?!?!? Well, I hope things are going well and thank you again! Keep in touch - I really don't want things to be weird. I'm really sorry (again) because I know that I created this situation but sometimes it's really weird that we used to be so close and now I delay sending you an email because I have no idea what to say...probably because I don't think you have forgiven me (or ever will). Have a great week!! I responded with the following: "Hey. Things are great - I am looking at grad school so I will be moving out and up in the world. I have an appointment coming in so I better go. Catch ya later." What does her email mean? Also was my response a good one or was it cold? Yes I do want her back but I don't want to dwell on the past either. Thanks for the help guys.
BCCA Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Let me translate her email for you: "Hey, Im not such a bad person...right?...right? I hope things are going well with you, despite the fact that I've put off talking to your or checking in because I feel guilty about what I did. Please tell me that you fogive me so I dont have to feel guilty about this anymore." Your response made a point, but I would have deleted this message. Also, dont send her any more cards for anything...ever. I'm sure you want her back, but she obviously isnt on the same page, and you have to take care of yourself. This woman is not improving your life in any way right now. Shes barely even throwing you some bread crumbs out of guilt, and needed space...to find someone else. She obviously never gave you the truth regarding the break, not that it would have mattered I suppose. What to do now? DISSAPEAR! Do not email or call her anymore, no cards, no texts, no facebook comments...nothing. If/when she ever wanted to try it again, she would most certainly let you know. You dont need chit chat and friendly crap from her, its not helping. The sooner you get over this and heal, the better off youll be when it comes to meeting someone else. Even if it ends up that you two get back together (unlikely scenario), you need to make it clear that youre moving on right now.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I think it probably means exactly what it says. Shes done, moved on. That being said, you two were close once, she loved you and knew what kinds of things were important to you. Of course she'd be happy for you if you accomplished something such as doing well on your test. It also sounds like she misses the closeness you shared, and while she is happy having moved on, regrets that she has lost your friendship. Talking to an ex after a breakup is awkward. What are the right words to say? Suddenly little things you only say to a lover must be edited, phrases must be thought out differently. Thats why it was hard for her to reply. How do you express yourself to someone that knew you perfectly well, after having lost them? Its very hard to do.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Hahaha and yeah, BCCA's translation, while kinda cruel, is a pretty good one. ;p
Author reelbigfish Posted October 30, 2008 Author Posted October 30, 2008 Ok. I agree with the complete NC from this point on - I just felt like I needed to do something for her birthday. I do think moving on is the best thing and that if she wants to get back together she will make it known. That said I don't think ignoring her is the best thing but maybe it is? Was my response a bad response given I was trying to answer her question but also try not to open up too much dialogue or was my response sort of cold?
AMB3R Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Hahaha and yeah, BCCA's translation, while kinda cruel, is a pretty good one. ;p I agree! I think that your response was good. It will more than likely make her feel a little bad!
Author reelbigfish Posted October 31, 2008 Author Posted October 31, 2008 Well I wasn't looking to make her feel bad. Just wanted to get the point across that I'm not interested in being chit chatty friends really and that I'm moving on.
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