teamzissou00 Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 If you invite a girl out to dinner as a first date, is it rude to have something else planned later that same night? Not so that it puts you in a rush or anything like that, but are you supposed to keep the night open incase it goes well or she wants to do something afterwards? Like if she asks you to do something else after, but you had already planned to go to a friends, does it make you seem disinterested if you say you're doing that, or does it ruin the mood or something if you ask her to go along? We're college-aged by the way.
Geishawhelk Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I think it's best to agree an evening when you're both free, and nothing else is planned by either of you.... To accept another commitment, after you've cleared this, is most definitely rude, in my mind.....
AMB3R Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I dont think that it is bad to have plans after dinner. You should never "assume" that she doesnt. But the fact that you would invite her along is the key. That way she has the option to hang out with you after, and you arent ditching her.
Author teamzissou00 Posted October 30, 2008 Author Posted October 30, 2008 That's what I was thinking, that'd it might be fun to ask her if she wants to come hang out with my friends. But do you girls really want to hang with a guys friends after only a first date?
reservoirdog1 Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 Dinner on a first date is a bad idea. Instead, "meet for a drink" at, say, 8 pm is a better approach. (And to be even safer, suggest a drink in the afternoon before dinner, on a Saturday.) The reason is, the default for a first date is that it should be brief. If you two go on the date and it's just not working out, if it's just drinks, it's socially acceptable to end it after an hour or so. Even more so if it's the afternoon -- the natural assumption is that you already have evening plans. And if you're both feeling the vibe, then you can keep things going. There's a school of thought that says, if you're a guy, the first date should NEVER last more than an hour and a bit, even if you're feeling the vibe. That way, you leave her hungry for more. Which is always a good thing.
Author teamzissou00 Posted October 31, 2008 Author Posted October 31, 2008 Dinner on a first date is a bad idea. Instead, "meet for a drink" at, say, 8 pm is a better approach. (And to be even safer, suggest a drink in the afternoon before dinner, on a Saturday.) The reason is, the default for a first date is that it should be brief. If you two go on the date and it's just not working out, if it's just drinks, it's socially acceptable to end it after an hour or so. Even more so if it's the afternoon -- the natural assumption is that you already have evening plans. And if you're both feeling the vibe, then you can keep things going. There's a school of thought that says, if you're a guy, the first date should NEVER last more than an hour and a bit, even if you're feeling the vibe. That way, you leave her hungry for more. Which is always a good thing. That sounds like sound logic for the adult dating scene, but we're in college. I was gonna take her to a casual place near her house. The whole meal probably wouldn't take more than an hour. If we were going to an upscale restaurant that takes a large portion of the evening, I can definitely see your point.
daisy84 Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 Hey, first of all casual dinner is fine for a first date, it sounds like you know her a little already - so it's not a blind date or an internet date where there is a chance you just realllly have no chemistry and need to bail quick. If she has a nice time I can see her wanting to prolong the evening, I've suggested such things as taking a walk, and I have no real interest in walking, or going to get a coffee, though we just had dinner, just so that I could spend a bit more time with someone I liked. Plus, prolonging things a little bit is a way to show interest. That said, if she suggests doing something else, you can very easily say, "I'm having such a great time I really wish I could, I had some plans with friends before we planned the date and I'd feel bad to bail on them." If you invite her along, make it really clear you don't mind if she doesn't come. Meeting your friends might be a bit much for a first date, but who knows she might be into it. I think the best thing to do might be to tell your friends you might not be able to make it, and the shouldn't expect you. If the date does end early maybe you can still meet up with them, and if the date goes long, well you don't need to mention the alternate plans to her...
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