Dark-N-Romantic Posted November 1, 2008 Posted November 1, 2008 People use to laugh about me and my 3 year rule. Year one. Getting to just alter our lives to include each other. Year two. Showing that we are able to handle various problems that comes with two people building a life together. Year three. This is when marriage should be discussed or already be in the plans. As far as the physical stuff, that should come naturally and not considered a sign that someone does not love you or want to have something real with you. I have had sex the wrong way and for me (I betrayed my initial ideals and belief that sex should be for the married) I look for women who are looking for sex after marriage. DNR
Author sunshinegirl Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 I find the notion of evaluating sexual chemistry on the first date very UNromantic. I mean, if its someone you cant imagine wanting to french kiss then you shouldnt be dating them but if youre not sure how good the sex would be thats a dumb reason to end things. I assume that most of the comments in this vein are more general in nature and not as much directed at me personally. However, on the off chance that they are... Yes, I've met a lot of guys in the last few months. Many of them I know right away won't be a love connection. For me at least something needs to "spark up" for me in the course of the conversation, whether on an intellectual, emotional, or physical level. If at least one of those is present, I'll see a guy again. But most of the guys I have met this round haven't spurred any interest in any of those areas. In that case, it's kinder to cut things off rather than drag them out in some futile attempt to get myself to like them. If I just know it's not going to happen, so be it. That said, I have gone out with a couple of the guys twice, and one guy I guess technically I am "seeing", since we've gone out 7 times. I am still on the fence about him and thus not ready to be exclusive, but I'm not ready to say there's nothing there. I think what feels frustrating is that I haven't gone on any dates recently that were "WOW!" I would love to meet someone that fires on all cylinders and I don't question whether I want to see them again.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 Sunshine some words of wisdom... DON'T JUGGLE! How would you feel if this guy or a guy would do that to you? Especially if he thinks you two are working on something. Lastly, how are you to know what you really feel if you are dividing your emotions among multiple people? DNR
Author sunshinegirl Posted November 2, 2008 Author Posted November 2, 2008 He's still active on the dating site, as am I, and I assume he's seeing other women, just as I am still meeting other men. Until we have had a conversation about dating exclusively...we're not. That's pretty much how dating works, at least in my neck of the woods.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 He's still active on the dating site, as am I, and I assume he's seeing other women, just as I am still meeting other men. Until we have had a conversation about dating exclusively...we're not. That's pretty much how dating works, at least in my neck of the woods. But, my problem I am seeing is this... You are assuming instead of asking him. And do these other men know you are in this relationship with him? And I doubt, if he is seeing other women, that he is being honest with them as well. Just be careful in the games you two are playing... Other people my not take kindly to having their emotions played. DNR
Ruby Slippers Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 I am not a fan of today's disposable culture, but I still know pretty quickly whether or not I have a certain minimum level of chemistry with a person, be it a friend or potential romantic interest. If you can't even make a connection on the first date or in the first conversation, where the whole POINT is to make a connection, there's not much hope for the future, as I see it.
Isolde Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 I am not a fan of today's disposable culture, but I still know pretty quickly whether or not I have a certain minimum level of chemistry with a person, be it a friend or potential romantic interest. If you can't even make a connection on the first date or in the first conversation, where the whole POINT is to make a connection, there's not much hope for the future, as I see it. I'd say go by the second date. First dates can be excruciatingly awkward. It depends on the personalities of the people involved.
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