dreamy1945 Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 if you are truly in love with someone and they you, do you believe that love never really dies? I think we can tuck that person away in our hearts but "really being able to get over someone" Don't you think we just learn to cope with those feelings? What's your thoughts?
Owl Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Do a search on the forum for the words "in love" in the title. This topic comes up about 3-4 x per year, at least.
LakesideDream Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 if you are truly in love with someone and they you, do you believe that love never really dies? I think we can tuck that person away in our hearts but "really being able to get over someone" Don't you think we just learn to cope with those feelings? What's your thoughts? From personal experiance I can tell you that you can be "in love" but not with someone for your whole life... at least I can. That person can have their own special place in you life/mind/heart... that you only visit when you decide to.
OpenBook Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Do a search on the forum for the words "in love" in the title. This topic comes up about 3-4 x per year, at least. Sheesh what's your problem Hoot?!? It's a legitimate question... every time it's asked! if you are truly in love with someone and they you, do you believe that love never really dies? No. Love can die. It is quite fragile. Reality can kill it. I think we can tuck that person away in our hearts but "really being able to get over someone" Don't you think we just learn to cope with those feelings? If you love somebody that you can't "have," it's easier to sustain the "sweet obsession" over a long period of time... because they never do anything (to your knowledge) to prove you wrong! Keeping that feeling of wonder and admiration and downright magic requires a state of mind that in literary circles is called the "willing suspension of disbelief." It is based on hopes and dreams, not on stark reality. The best way to "snap out of it" is to marry them!
NoIDidn't Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Love can die. It is quite fragile. Reality can kill it. Too funny. So true. (I almost wet myself laughing when I read it )
wildsoul Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 Love can fade. Love can die. Love can live on. Love has so many shades and hues. It can come and go. I've been lucky to have real love a few different times in my life. And while I still have fond thoughts of former loves, I'm not at all "in love" with them now. There are no harbored feelings locked away inside me. Just a fondness and appreciation for the time when it was good. I can think of one boyfriend who I never thought I'd get over. Now, 10 years later, I feel nothing. I can only remember how crazy I was about him, and how devastated I was by his cheating on me. But I don't feel those feelings anymore. Perhaps you are talking about sacred torch kind of love though. That love is the unrequited kind. Typically, it's a love that never evolved into a true R, or it lasted only briefly. For whatever reason, the person you hold a sacred torch for becomes a sort of golden idol upon which all of your heart's longings are projected. They seem like a real person. But in memory and projection, they become an icon of sorts. Torch love can be a way of avoiding real love with a real person. As a friend said to me once, about her torch bearing obsession with an almost-boyfriend from the past, "No one can compete with a ghost. He's still perfect in my mind."
81West Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 My most recent experience with "falling out of love" has been the most brutal and emotionally eviscerating of my life. I've lived it in this haunting slow motion and have watched with perfect clarity as cognitive dissonance has slipped ever more in and through, devouring the truth. It's a mechanism that has lots of faces: anger, righteousness, 'seeing the light' and on and on. This time for me, it's only been this awful conscious grief. By the end of it, I'll no longer be in love on any level that I can reach; I will have forgotten. Sad.
MizzBlue72 Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 Sheesh what's your problem Hoot?!? It's a legitimate question... every time it's asked! Keeping that feeling of wonder and admiration and downright magic requires a state of mind that in literary circles is called the "willing suspension of disbelief." It is based on hopes and dreams, not on stark reality. The best way to "snap out of it" is to marry them! I love that!!! It is SOO true!!
Island Girl Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 Love can fade. Love can die. Love can live on. Love is like a weed. It can grow in the most unlikely places and can sustain itself with little nurturing. But if you try you can kill it.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 LOL, Island girl so true. or like a delicate ordhid that you have nurtured from day one, it can turn to never return. if you are truly in love with someone and they you, do you believe that love never really dies? I think we can tuck that person away in our hearts but "really being able to get over someone" Don't you think we just learn to cope with those feelings? What's your thoughts? OP, do you have unmitigated proof that this love is returned with the same intesity?
Owl Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 Sheesh what's your problem Hoot?!? It's a legitimate question... every time it's asked! No problem at all on my end. I suggested that she do a search, and read the numerous discussions that have been had on this...there's a lot of good information out there already. Not sure why this struck you as an attack or bash on my end towards the OP, Openbook. It wasn't. It was a suggestion to help her get some of the answers she was looking for.
Author dreamy1945 Posted October 31, 2008 Author Posted October 31, 2008 Yes we both feel the same way but the timing is not right. Maybe someday!
norajane Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 If you listen to all the WS's out there having affairs, or go into the Separation and Divorce forums, or the Cheating and Jealousy forums, or the Break Up and Coping forums, it's clear that both in love and love most assuredly can die. Now, if you go to the Second Chance forum, you'll find different opinions. In your case, in love and can't act on it, then you can probably keep that in love burning forever if you keep feeding it with fantasy and hope. If you accept reality that you can't act on your feelings and decide you would rather find love and in love with someone who can freely return it and act on it with you, then your in love can be dulled until it fades into nothing. And it can be thoroughly replaced by feelings for someone else.
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