Peter_pan Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 you do sound like you have a lot going for you. and any man would love those talents in a girl. i know i would, in comparison to my ex you have wonderful traits. my ex didnt have any hobbies, apart from dressing up nice and going out meeting guys. when i move on and meet a new girl i wish they would be a dancer or wrote books etc. and if you read any of my posts you'll know thats saying something. please just say f this guy and move on. its all you can do. and i have faith that you will do that. you say a lot that you miss him, well thats not going to change, if we could all buy something that would de miss someone.... you just have to deal with it and put him in a different place in your head.
Author sedgwick Posted November 6, 2008 Author Posted November 6, 2008 You have that such position , RIGHT ON ! What exactly does "you have that such position" mean?!? you do sound like you have a lot going for you. and any man would love those talents in a girl. i know i would, in comparison to my ex you have wonderful traits. my ex didnt have any hobbies, apart from dressing up nice and going out meeting guys. Thanks for your kind words. I do appreciate them, more than you know. It's just that when people say things like "any man" would want me...well, then why did the one man I want NOT want me? I mean, okay, here ya go, here's a girlfriend who will present you with a handmade cashmere scarf, bellydance naked for you, give you all the (unreciprocated) oral sex you can stand, and offer to get the two of you an apartment when the book money comes in, and you're going to leave because she's not an old-time fiddle player? The best part was when he told me how his ex-gf was a writer and when she dumped him he was "a mess for a year." So, since he could love her even though she was only a writer, does that mean she was a BETTER writer? Does it mean she was SO MUCH better a writer than me that she didn't have to do any of the other aforementioned stuff, and he not only didn't dump her but actually missed her and didn't want her to leave? It's stuff like this that makes me doubt that I really have anything to offer at all. As far as I know, this girl isn't published, but is she still a better writer? If he was impressed by her writing, was he ever even a tiny bit impressed by mine? He said he was, but was that a lie like "I love you?" I mean, he DID dump me on the weekend we were supposedly celebrating my book deal. This is why my brain is so torn up. The one thing that's really helping right now is that I have this awesome new job working with homeless teenagers, and when I am able to get a homeless kid a home, I feel like at least THAT ONE THING is definitively better than square dance music.
Cabernet34 Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 Sedge, no human being on this earth can tell their heart what to feel. You can't love someone because their writing is awesome. You can't love someone because they play a certain instrument. You love them because your heart feels love for them. Now love is far from simple, but what IS simple about it, is that the feeling is a natural feeling. It can't be forced. Unfortunately, a person also can not force the feeling to go away. It's nice to fantasize about having a partner that has or shares a certain interest. Sure, things like that work towards two people having something in common. But NOBODY can force themselves to love some one else. Take a second and think about what you have done for some homeless kids. Wow. That is truly making a difference. You feel worthless? You have likely changed someones LIFE through your work. It's very important, and you are special for realizing this. Keep helping these homeless people, because it is and awesome thing that you are doing. It might be your true purpose in life.
Mary3 Posted November 6, 2008 Posted November 6, 2008 What exactly does "you have that such position" mean?!? Thanks for your kind words. I do appreciate them, more than you know. It's just that when people say things like "any man" would want me...well, then why did the one man I want NOT want me? I mean, okay, here ya go, here's a girlfriend who will present you with a handmade cashmere scarf, bellydance naked for you, give you all the (unreciprocated) oral sex you can stand, and offer to get the two of you an apartment when the book money comes in, and you're going to leave because she's not an old-time fiddle player? The best part was when he told me how his ex-gf was a writer and when she dumped him he was "a mess for a year." So, since he could love her even though she was only a writer, does that mean she was a BETTER writer? Does it mean she was SO MUCH better a writer than me that she didn't have to do any of the other aforementioned stuff, and he not only didn't dump her but actually missed her and didn't want her to leave? It's stuff like this that makes me doubt that I really have anything to offer at all. As far as I know, this girl isn't published, but is she still a better writer? If he was impressed by her writing, was he ever even a tiny bit impressed by mine? He said he was, but was that a lie like "I love you?" I mean, he DID dump me on the weekend we were supposedly celebrating my book deal. This is why my brain is so torn up. The one thing that's really helping right now is that I have this awesome new job working with homeless teenagers, and when I am able to get a homeless kid a home, I feel like at least THAT ONE THING is definitively better than square dance music. Meaning the Poster is in one of the top positions as best member to give good advice
openbook08 Posted November 8, 2008 Posted November 8, 2008 I heard a story once... I cant remember it exactly but goes something like this - 2 dogs were fighting a black dog and a white dog. 1 of 2 observers asked the other "which dog will win?" to which he replied "whichever one you feed" now Im pretty sure Ive told it arseways but sedgewick youre feeding the wrong dog....youre feeding the one thats encouraging all your insecurities and unhappiness. well time to starve it. feed the other dog let the good side win its scary its hard but SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO worth it ps anyone have the correct version of that story??? Im the same with jokes all eh am wait ill remember it in a min!
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