sweetappl2 Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I posted about a week or two ago, about my ex who broke up with me cause he needed to figure out his life. He kept in contact with me constantly saying he just needed time until we got back together. Then he decided on the coast guard and is now needed time to figure out if we can handle it or not. More details are at http://www.womens-health.com/boards/dating/10686-dont-know-what-think-about-ex-bf.html Well lately, it has been a mess. He has seemed to make a complete personality change. We've just been having a lot of problems lately. He'll get mad at me for the stupidest things at work. He got mad at me for not talking during break when we're in a group, not saying hi to him (cause I was upset and didn't feel like it), thinks that I blew him off when I was talking to someone else. He gets all angry at me, and I'm sitting there like what in the world just happened, because I didn't do anything! He blew me off the entire night because of something he was upset about - left and didn't even say bye. Later he told me it was cuz he didn't want to yell at me, but I did nothing wrong so I don't understand how he could possibly yell! He's been having a lot of stress at home too.... his parents found out about the police ticket he got this summer when we went to the beach when he was driving my car and someone crashed into us. They kicked him off their health and car insurance and they have been really upset with him. He has also told me after 1 yr he has finally gotten a relationship back with his dad and now its ruined. So he's been dealin with a lot of crap and I don't know if he's just taking it out on me or what? I'm the person he's closest to so its like he's taking it out on me, since we tend to do that. But its been devastating for me, the way he's been treating me. I'm having a hard time distinguishing if its him or just a phase b/c he's going through so much. It breaks my heart because I know I can't be with someone who acts like this. The guy this summer was absolutely amazing - so thoughful, caring, considerate and everything I've ever thought a guy would be and he said he would never change. Lately, he accuses me of everything, not being around him, not talking to him, I even walked to the other side of a desk as he was walking up (i didn't see him) and he accused me of moving to the other side to get away from him! All these situations are being created in his mind. Later he tells me he's joking, but he is seriously pissed off.... I don't think so. He sure is being critical for me being his ex, i mean I don't owe him nothing! But he is still taking everything I do personally. He is having such a hard time letting go, because he really cares about me. I know he does. I do want to be with him, but I want to be with the guy I knew from the summer. I'm not sure what is up with this other side of him. So I'm torn. He even had hte nerve to come up to me and tell me I'm making it really hard for him to want me back. When he's the one bein ridiculous, I'm simply calling him out on it! Its been several people at work too that are having some problems with him. He just gets angry and upset about silly things, and he is not talking to some people because of it. I dont know what is going on, it seems like he is going through some crisis or something. So I'm not sure what to do. I wrote him a letter telling him how I feel and how I think we can make it work while he's in the Coast Guard. I gave it to him after our horrible night at work. He called me while he was driving home because I had gotten really upset at work with him and he wanted to finally listen and find out why I was upset. We talked for a bit about it, then about the coast guard thing and his issue. We ended the talk on good terms. He told me not to get mad if he didn't read the letter right away. I told him I think it will help him out, and he said i think it will too. It has been 5 days since I've given him the letter and he still hasn't read it. After I gave it to him Friday night, I didn't hear from him all weekend. We went out with a few friends sunday nite (I didn't know he was going to be there). And he told me he still hadn't read it. He was just kind of a wall flower all night and I tried to make casual convo. I asked him if he had read it yet, and that I was wondering why he didn't call me about it this weekend (i mean I did only just pour out my heart!) and he's like well you can call me. I told him, you are the one who broke up with me, you need to call me. And he flipped. Saying that I'm bringing up the break up again. He started getting angry again and blowing me off. And saying that he needed to leave, and he stormed off. Everyone in our group noticed, and I began to cry and left. I called him while I was outside and that was it. he just started screaming at me. I have never in my life been screamed at like that Saying I keep bringing up the break up. He says all I do is pry, and its pushing him away. I try my hardest not to, but he has been breaking my heart all week with him acting like this. I don't understand why he just couldn't say, I just need to be by myself, I'm fine I'll be back, but for now I can't talk about it. He just ignored me, alienated me, and got pissed off at me for everything He even said he was so angry that he was about to beat the **** out of the first guy he saw. That really worries me. After that argument we talked the next night, and he said that I'm barely hanging on by a thread. He said it would take awhile for that thread to get stronger. I can't believe he would say that after everything he has put me through. I have done nothing but support him and he says he knows that. He says he is losing his patience with me, and that he has a lot of it. When someone I care makes such a dramatic change, isn't it only natural to be caring and wanting to talk with them and help them? I know guys are different but even if he just told that he's going through a difficult time and just needs to be left alone that would have been fine. He just didn't say anything and here is this person I really care about making a complete personality change! I told him maybe we shouldn't talk for a few days and asked him if he thought it would help. He said probably would. I haven't talked to him in two days, and I don't know what to do. Just let him text or call me? It is breaking my heart that he is acting so angry and mean, uncaring and it is also upsetting that he thinks I'm ruining thins when I've done nothing but care and offer my support. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!
oceangrl Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Reading all of your previous posts, I would say that hes treating you like that because he feels guilty. He knows that he is not at a point in his life where he can give you what you want emotionally. He knows that he has other priorities and that his relationship with you will not be his top priority. And after only 2 months of dating and breaking up.....that is not enough time to know for sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with him. It is just not reasonable. Think about how much you will change in the next 10 years....in the next 20 years...etc. Think about how much he will change too. If he is already acting like a different person after dating him for just 2 months.....think about how different he'll be just a couple years from now. Do you really want to put yourself through that emotional drama? I know I wouldn't. The only thing left to do now is to let him go.
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