kashmir Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I was actually thinking of coming on to post this topic, and then the first thread I see is about musicians, ha! I'd still like to make a separate thread though. I'm a musician myself too. It's not my profession and it probably won't be (I'm a student), but I'll never be able to quit singing and songwriting. Because I'm usually busy with other obligations, I have little time or opportunity for a social life (going to parties), so I don't meet many girls. I've been okay with this for a while, but recently I've been getting a bit lonely and would like to put myself out there (not to mention I've never had a girlfriend before). I was wondering where I might be able to play where I might get girls' interested in me and my music. Most of my audiences have been guys. Also...tell me if I'm wrong, but from my experiences, people my age don't really appreciate live rock music (I'm in college). I play and sing out in public a lot and never get people to even look at me (though, I've realized that this is normal. If they really thought I was bad than I'm positive they would make rude remarks. I've never once gotten that, which is good). I just always hear people talking about how being a musician is cool or attractive, but from what I've seen, people regard it as a nerdy hobby or an annoyance. If it's not loud pop dance music, then they're not interested. That will never stop me from playing though...but it would be nice to have some people interested, and maybe a few girls. I write a lot of my own stuff, but I know a ton of covers...a lot by pearl jam, alice in chains, and jeff buckley. I have a voice very similar to Eddie Vedder's, so I can usually nail PJ covers pretty dead on...but when I do my originals I shift away from being an eddie vedder impersonator and have my own unique style. Is this type of singing/ genre of music not liked at all now? It seems like it. =/
Green Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 what state are you in? Coffee houses by colleges some time have open mic nights where people sing and play music. And alot of times theres hot girls around who will throw you their number after the show... only takes one. Seriously though I would just start asking out all the cute chicks you see every day, if you do it in a cool way even if they reject you it won't be awkward... heck for me it only gets awkward after you've rejected them lol
kizik Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Who gives a sh*t if people like what you play; if you're doing it for approval, you're doing it for the wrong reasons.
Green Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Who gives a sh*t if people like what you play; if you're doing it for approval, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. I think getting girls is a great reason to play music, some of my favorite songs are about girls and getting them and impressing them
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 And alot of times theres hot girls around who will throw you their number after the show... l A band on the verge of being signed might get some numbers if they're lucky but someone playing over a dodgy PA in a dingy place to 30 other wannabees.... hahaha To the OP get out and do it, it will help with your confidence, will allow you to meet a lot of people and is very enjoyable. Don't expect chicks to be throwing you numbers though, not even if you're Bob Dylan.
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 by the way if you just want to score try getting good at karaoke instead.
kizik Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Some cute girls sing karaoke, I second that motion
Green Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 A band on the verge of being signed might get some numbers if they're lucky but someone playing over a dodgy PA in a dingy place to 30 other wannabees.... hahaha To the OP get out and do it, it will help with your confidence, will allow you to meet a lot of people and is very enjoyable. Don't expect chicks to be throwing you numbers though, not even if you're Bob Dylan. dude girls will throw you their number if you get up and sing a karaoke song good... you don't have to be a hit band.
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 dude girls will throw you their number if you get up and sing a karaoke song good... you don't have to be a hit band. Yeah if you sing karaoke. An open mic - the audience mainly consists of people performing. And quite often they're better than you
kizik Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Tell me about it... though often times they're worse than me, too
Green Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Yeah if you sing karaoke. An open mic - the audience mainly consists of people performing. And quite often they're better than you I was at an open mic and saw girls throwing their numbers out. Plus he likes performing his own songs... plus he could invite girls to see him perform at the open mic... great ice breaker "I'd like to invite you to an open mic I'll be performing at" then the girl comes and is impressed
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I was at an open mic and saw girls throwing their numbers out. Plus he likes performing his own songs... plus he could invite girls to see him perform at the open mic... great ice breaker "I'd like to invite you to an open mic I'll be performing at" then the girl comes and is impressed KMT I don't disagree, but the ones where you get real audiences are usually the invite only ones - where you have to be known or send something well recorded that stands up in advance. The others are usually performers along with some other musicians, because the bring and just show up ones, you get such bad performers sometimes that the night would die on it's a** if they were let loose on the public. I agree about the idea of inviting chicks along - that's a good one, but I suggest he does a few first just to be comfortable
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Tell me about it... though often times they're worse than me, too LOL and you're sitting there hoping that the one before you is the dud, and not the pro
kizik Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 LOL and you're sitting there hoping that the one before you is the dud, and not the pro Exactly, you always wanna follow a bad act.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Open mics, for sure. The only problem is there's usually like 30 guys for every girl actually performing (which is why it's great for me lol -- I really should milk this more than I do). But sometimes there are "groupie girls" hanging around, who just want a cute guy who plays guitar. You know, if that's your thing.
Author kashmir Posted October 30, 2008 Author Posted October 30, 2008 Who gives a sh*t if people like what you play; if you're doing it for approval, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. If I was doing it for approval I would have quit a long time ago. Other people liking it is secondary - any musician would like for others to understand and connect with their music, but the most important part is they themselves like it. I've done a lot of crappy open-mics where it's pretty much just the bands and their followers who show up, so usually I'm playing for a crowd that is just waiting for me to get off to see their band play. Plus they're usually full bands. I'm pretty good as a solo act, but any solo act doesn't compare to a whole band that's good. Coffee shops would be a good pretty deal, I think. I'll ask some of the coffee shops here what their deal is with someone playing. This Saturday I'm doing this benefit show here, so I'll see how that goes.
sumdude Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 And alot of times theres hot girls around who will throw you their number after the show... only takes one. Seriously though I would just start asking out all the cute chicks you see every day, if you do it in a cool way even if they reject you it won't be awkward... heck for me it only gets awkward after you've rejected them lol I've been playing gigs for 20 years, never seen a number just thrown at me or the other band members.. well except for the hot chick singers. They get hit on from the moment they walk in the door till they leave. The fact is yes.. you can get more attention but you still have to do the talking, asking and flirting. It may give you a leg up but women won't be throwing themselves at you unless you're already an established 'star'.
AriaIncognito Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I don't really think people really get dates out of being in a band unless they are super hot or something, and well, then it's just based on your body so I dont know if you'd want the guy. Personally, I'd rather a guy want me for my personality/talent than just seeing me and saying "she's hot". Sure I know attraction is important, but there's gotta be something more to hold it together. I've fronted bands off and on for 10 years (currently on) and can't say I've ever really been approached by anyone for the want of asking me out. I've gotten a lot of compliments from both male and female audience members but never a number. lol. I don't know, i really think it's a misconception that people have, that band members have people fawning over them. We band members are generally no different than anyone else, we just happen to be good at making music.
Author kashmir Posted October 30, 2008 Author Posted October 30, 2008 I've been playing gigs for 20 years, never seen a number just thrown at me or the other band members.. well except for the hot chick singers. They get hit on from the moment they walk in the door till they leave. The fact is yes.. you can get more attention but you still have to do the talking, asking and flirting. It may give you a leg up but women won't be throwing themselves at you unless you're already an established 'star'. Well, I obviously don't expect to get numbers thrown at me. I guess what I'm saying is this - say I play a show with a pretty good sized audience at a coffee house or something. After I play, I go back into the crowd and see the other acts. Now say I see a girl I like who I noticed while performing. From the beginning she already knows I play music and has seen me herself, so that gives me a bit of an advantage since she knows I do something fairly interesting. It might peek her interest, and she might be much more receptive of me if I approach. Aka - it betters my chances at getting a number or a date. That's what I'm hoping at least, but it's also what I'm asking, because as I said, it seems to me that a lot of people see musicians as an annoyance. I don't know, i really think it's a misconception that people have, that band members have people fawning over them. We band members are generally no different than anyone else, we just happen to be good at making music. I definitely agree, and I really don't understand the psychology behind fawning over someone in a band either (girls screaming and going berserk over the Beatles, haha). It's probably true with big-time artists, but for the local band I really don't think it's true. In fact, like I said, I find that people nowadays dislike people in a band even. As Cartman once said, "Real guitar is for old people."
sumdude Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I don't know, i really think it's a misconception that people have, that band members have people fawning over them. We band members are generally no different than anyone else, we just happen to be good at making music. I just played a gig Tuesday night.. I was on stage playing watching all the folks dancing, grinding, making out, laughing and I was thinking to myself Hey, They're having more fun than I am. But that's why I'm there, to entertain the audience. It's a job, a fun job but still a job. I show up, set up my gear. Maybe grab a bite, tune up, warm up then we play the first set. In between sets there's a few minutes to get to the bathroom, catch some air and maybe a short conversation then back to playing. The band stops about the same time the club is closing.. so then it's pack up and load out.. So tell me? Where is the time to even get a long enough conversation and even a phone number? That's the reality of the working musician... Except of course for lead singers... they don't have any gear to pack so they're free to roam about and pick up the gals.
sumdude Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 In fact, like I said, I find that people nowadays dislike people in a band even. As Cartman once said, "Real guitar is for old people." How depressing... Replacing real talent that takes years to develop with the ability to play Simon on a somewhat guitar shaped piece of plastic...
Author kashmir Posted October 30, 2008 Author Posted October 30, 2008 How depressing... Replacing real talent that takes years to develop with the ability to play Simon on a somewhat guitar shaped piece of plastic... Ha, I feel the same pain! Sumdude, I can understand that it's hard to meet people while you're playing a professional gig. I play music pretty casually and don't plan to do it professionally (unless by some longshot I get a lucky oppurtunity ). It's something I do along with academics and athletics simply for the love of it. At gigs I'd play I wouldn't be as constrained as you or other professional musicians are.
inlovewithlove Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 dude girls will throw you their number if you get up and sing a karaoke song good... you don't have to be a hit band. Best Karaoke song for picking up chicks...The Flintstones Theme. Trust me...it's fast, it's funny, everyone knows it (and will sing along) and you won't be taken too seriously...which is great, because people who take karaoke too seriously suck donkey balls. I did this song once with a friend at a karaoke bar in Florida, and we were beating chicks off with sticks (well, not all of them...we ended up going back to a hotel with a group of them).
tanbark813 Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I have a voice very similar to Eddie Vedder's, so I can usually nail PJ covers pretty dead on...but when I do my originals I shift away from being an eddie vedder impersonator and have my own unique style. Is this type of singing/ genre of music not liked at all now? It seems like it. =/ I don't think it's that. The style of music isn't even that important. The band I'm in plays rock, blues, and rockabilly. Some of the rockabilly stuff even sounds a bit country but even tough looking guys in rock clubs dig it. What's more important is the energy of the band (or of just you if you're solo) and that you're actually good. Another odd kind of backfire that I've seen is that if you're nailing the PJ covers dead on, people might actually not be paying attention because it sounds too much like the original and in the back of their mind they're listening to the radio. It's hard to say what the problem is without actually seeing you live but from your post it sounds like either your stage presence is lacking or you're just not having enough fun up there and it carries into your performance. I don't really think people really get dates out of being in a band unless they are super hot or something, I met my current gf at one of my band's shows and I'm not super hot.
Author kashmir Posted October 31, 2008 Author Posted October 31, 2008 I don't think it's that. The style of music isn't even that important. The band I'm in plays rock, blues, and rockabilly. Some of the rockabilly stuff even sounds a bit country but even tough looking guys in rock clubs dig it. What's more important is the energy of the band (or of just you if you're solo) and that you're actually good. Another odd kind of backfire that I've seen is that if you're nailing the PJ covers dead on, people might actually not be paying attention because it sounds too much like the original and in the back of their mind they're listening to the radio. It's hard to say what the problem is without actually seeing you live but from your post it sounds like either your stage presence is lacking or you're just not having enough fun up there and it carries into your performance. I met my current gf at one of my band's shows and I'm not super hot. Back a year or two ago I was still learning and my open mics were mediocre, but now I've got it down pretty good (I've been playing music for 7 years but I just started singing 2 years ago). I used to be really nervous but my stage presence is pretty good now, as well a pretty unique vibe, as some people tell me. I'm pretty sure my style isn't very appreciated. I get a few people who love it every show, but the organization which puts on a lot of the shows are kinda snobby with their taste in music, as well as the people they bring to the shows. Believe me, these people DON'T wanna hear what I have to play. There are a ton of them around here too (my school is in a town that has a notorious indie/emo/punk scene...rock is sparse here, haha).
Recommended Posts