mixwell Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I guess I'm just venting here but I feel like since my breakup with my ex (who hit me up on myspace) that I'm not going to meet anyone soon and although I don't really care at the moment because I am more concerned about getting my finances and getting into a regular gym routine sorted out. That is another story but I feel like all I do is go to work, gym and then straight home. I keep thinking in the back of my mind "how am I going to meet a girl when I'm not going out and exposing myself ?" I think my mentality right now is that I want to make my self look better and raise my bar for girls. The last 2 girls I dated/ girlfriends were from myspace and they both hit me up. I keep thinking that it is lame to just sit back on the computer and not get out but I am in such a routine right now I feel like my financial and gyming are priority which I'm sure they should be. I have at times been single for 1 year+ but I guess since my breakup I feel like I am not going to meet anyone new by my routines and maybe for some reason I have the feeling that I need to talk to some women or whatever. Anyways this is more of a vent but does anyone else feel like I do because of their habits/ routines ? Thanks! Peace
Rafa Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Hi Mixwell, I've found myself feeling a bit isolated since my split. I also need to get my financial situation sorted out, and I am in the gym and at work a lot. My 'solution' (if you can call it that, I mean I still feel pretty bad) is to force myself to do things and go out, even when i don't necessarily feel like it. I go to the gym early in the morning so that I have evenings free after work. I've got a hobby that I practice at the weekends which puts me amongst people, and I call up people I haven't seen for a while, to try and get myself out there. It's tough. All I really want is to get my gf back, but that isn't going to happen, so sometimes it feels like 'whats the point'? I think it's really important to maintain optimism about the future. Life is full of ups and downs. If you put effort in, you will get results, even if it's just a nice evening out with a friend to take your mind off of things. It's not always possible, sometimes I just run out of options, but I'm trying. In the face of this utter horror (a very difficult breakup) I am trying to pick myself up. Get yourself out there, join a class, take up a hobby, call people.
arian_ma Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 I have read many threads on LS, while being in pain and after, and it's really upsetting to me to see so many people in pain, and I just want to come to you all and tell you it'll be okay, so let me try to tell you what I have found through my pain: I think the problem with almost everyone after a devastating breakup is self-confidence. I, like most, tried to look for someone else to dive into a relationship with right away, but luckily I realized it was a fake emotion. I started to think about what it was that I truly needed, and I realized that the thing that upset me more was that i felt like I was so alone. Then I started to think that maybe that's the problem, that I can't rely on myself, I always want other people to do things for me, make me feel better, show me the way. That day was very important to me. No, it didn't solve things right away, but it put me on a road where I am a much stronger and better person. I think you should focus on yourself, and not fake focus like "I NEED to go work out," or "I NEED to go to the bar with my friends." You need to sit down, stop pretending like you don't hurt, cry the **** out of your emotions, and immediately after say "okay, now what do I REALLY want?" For the longest time you have made everyone else #1, now it's your turn, now it's time for you to step up and take care of yourself. Just something that helped me.
MichiganMan222 Posted November 2, 2008 Posted November 2, 2008 Well I feel the same way and plan to go to the local sports bar and watch football, but rather than sobbing in my beer quietly, I'm going to strike up conversations whenever possible. The bartenders there are hot too (except for the male ones (dunno bout them haha)). Anyway, it won't get me a girlfriend, but it will get me engaged with other people. That's what I want rather than sitting in my big empty house waiting for my prior ex (the one before current e) to get out of her relationship so we can be back together. That's gonna take awhile. I wish I could see this lat breakup as an opportunity for that rather than be so bothered by it. Trying to see the silver-lining but its tough.
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