Mydish1 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I'm having a hard time going against my traditional idea/view of cold approaching women...which is both parties make EC, smile and the guy approaches. Out of every case I've come across, I've actually had one girl do it with me and of course she was interested. Most other times have been very tricky. 1)Perhaps a girl will see me in a train station as she's walking and stop and wait next to me for the train. 2)she may notice me and go back to doing what she was doing. 3)she may look in my direction (sometimes with a scowl on the face/no smile), but not look at me (more like look through me) and makes no EC with me, but I do make an attempt at EC. 4)she may notice me and maybe play or throw her hair back but go back to what she was doing /not look at me..or look down as if she's thinking. Because of these unclear signals often I do not bother approaching them. Some of the ones I've approached turned out to be attention whoring. Am I misreading these women? Are they genuinely interested or just seeking attention? Or is it because they're not as confident as I'd want to believe they are in making EC with me? Women, what do you do with a guy you're interested in and notice in public? Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Seriously I just approach any girl I want to meet regaurdless of if they're interested or not. Is just like jobs... if you want to work some where why not try an make some contacts with people at the job, drop off your resume with HR or what ever, ask for an interview... I mean do you really need to see a help wanted sign or an add in the paper or the net for a place you want to work at... Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I think anyone male or female should be able to approach whoever they want, with the stipulation that if they say they're not interested you back off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mydish1 Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 I think anyone male or female should be able to approach whoever they want, with the stipulation that if they say they're not interested you back off. True, but your success rate only increases if there is mutual interest in the beginning. Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Well as a girl I can say eye contact is more important than smiling. Sometimes I'll be smiling to myself and inadvertently catch an old man's eye Whereas if I'm making deep eye contact it usually means I think a guy is cute. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mydish1 Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 Well as a girl I can say eye contact is more important than smiling. Sometimes I'll be smiling to myself and inadvertently catch an old man's eye Whereas if I'm making deep eye contact it usually means I think a guy is cute. So..are you trying to say you support my traditional view about making EC? Was there ever a time you liked a guy and did something else other than EC? Link to post Share on other sites
Lostitonce Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I also have given eye contact to a guy I'm interested in, though usually the quick glance doesn't count unless it's followed up with more. I have also generally made a point of physical contact with a guy I like, such as a light touch with my fingers or knee. Link to post Share on other sites
Bells Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I'm having a hard time going against my traditional idea/view of cold approaching women...which is both parties make EC, smile and the guy approaches. Out of every case I've come across, I've actually had one girl do it with me and of course she was interested. Most other times have been very tricky. 1)Perhaps a girl will see me in a train station as she's walking and stop and wait next to me for the train. 2)she may notice me and go back to doing what she was doing. 3)she may look in my direction (sometimes with a scowl on the face/no smile), but not look at me (more like look through me) and makes no EC with me, but I do make an attempt at EC. 4)she may notice me and maybe play or throw her hair back but go back to what she was doing /not look at me..or look down as if she's thinking. Because of these unclear signals often I do not bother approaching them. Some of the ones I've approached turned out to be attention whoring. Am I misreading these women? Are they genuinely interested or just seeking attention? Or is it because they're not as confident as I'd want to believe they are in making EC with me? Women, what do you do with a guy you're interested in and notice in public? Most of the women I approach have this, "Why is this guy taking to me" expression on their face, and they stand there only tolerating you until you're done. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Women: what signs do you give a guy to approach you in public? Well when I was single it would always be a big friendly smile. Link to post Share on other sites
peace_pipe Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Women: what signs do you give a guy to approach you in public? Don't wear panties. Link to post Share on other sites
cutegirl Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Actually I don't want to meet any men, I decided I want to be live alone forever until I die so I always give signals in public to BACK OFF. I never smile, I always look pissed off and irritable is the word, very irritable, I scowl, and if I accidentally look at someone I scowl. If someone attempts to talk to me I just don't talk back, if a person asks me anything I'll either give them a dirty look and completely ignore them or tell them its none of their business and get the F out... Trust me, if someone is SCOWLING at you they do not want to meet you, why are you even to make eye contact after they scowled at you???? If someone did that to me I would think they are starting **** and think they are stalker and be EXTRA rude to them. I might even cuss at them under my breath or out loud depending on my mood. WHY would you try to make eye contact to a woman on the train after she scowled at you? It means she wants to be left alone and wants nothing to do with you. I would be ticked off and explode and lose it completely depending on my mood if someone was trying to look at me etc after I gave an obvious signal to leave me the F alone! Link to post Share on other sites
cutegirl Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 1)Perhaps a girl will see me in a train station as she's walking and stop and wait next to me for the train. 2)she may notice me and go back to doing what she was doing. 3)she may look in my direction (sometimes with a scowl on the face/no smile), but not look at me (more like look through me) and makes no EC with me, but I do make an attempt at EC. 4)she may notice me and maybe play or throw her hair back but go back to what she was doing /not look at me..or look down as if she's thinking. All of these signs means the woman is NOT interested and wants to be left alone, men should take a hint. IF a woman wants you to approach her she will let you know ... Some women dont LIKE men and want to be left ALONE. All the signs you listed above means the woman wants to be left alone. If someone bothers me even after I scowl at them I will cuss them out in public, I dont care if its on a train. I will tell them "WTF are you looking at, do you have a staring problem?" Obviously if someone scowls it means they want to be left alone. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 dam! let's hope for your sake you don't happen to smile or make eye contact with cutegirl. I have to question the screenmane if she walks around wih scowl all the time. On a more positive note, eye contact is not a fool prrof method in determining whether or not somone may be interested in meeting you. I'd say to some degree body language is often over rated. Besides, different people will read the signals completely differently. What you see as a huge welcoming smile, may be seen by the next person as a polite smile. Same thing with the EC, most will say that if eye contect is not shared by both parties, then one of those invovled is not interested. Thats so false. I know women who are kind of shy and seldomly hold prolonged eye for very short amounts of time, yet they are obviously interested. Smiling, waving, stopping to chat, asking questions, revealing personal information, tone of their voice etc. Unless she's blatantly giving you all the right signs, it can be impossible to accurately predict whether someone is interested or not most of the time. Until you give it a try you won't know, and even then it can still be somewhat ambiguous. As silly as it sounds, if you feel a positive vibe when interacting with her, there's a good chance she is. There's a reason why people sometimes say, trust your instincts.....surely not fool proof, but even if it was wrong, you still gave it a shot. Link to post Share on other sites
BubblyPopcorn Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 If I'm smiling when looking at you and vice versa, if I maintain eye contact, if I coy-fully look at you/look away, indicates that I'm interested. If you approach me in public and I am open to you coming within my personal space/proximity, indicates that I'm interested. These are all natural reactions for me and sometimes I don't even realize when I'm doing it but it's because you've raised my attraction level and that is what I'm naturally responding too. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 IME, prolonged eye contact is running about 50/50 genuine interest vs ego feed. Lately, ego feed has been winning but I'm optimistic I travel alone a fair amount and often sit next to women on airplanes. Whether "up front" or in economy, I can sense if the woman's space includes my presence. It's a combination of mannerisms, body language and their aura. I'm rarely wrong. I don't "pick up" women on airplanes....or anywhere, since I'm married . I just enjoy their company and have a pretty good sense of them. My opinion is, in general, at least in my case, that women to whom I'm a stranger are seldom "interested" in my approaching them. As KMT said, no harm in trying and, if I were single, I might agree, but I tend to respect people's personal space and trust my instincts. Link to post Share on other sites
Dark-N-Romantic Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 All of these signs means the woman is NOT interested and wants to be left alone, men should take a hint. IF a woman wants you to approach her she will let you know ... Some women dont LIKE men and want to be left ALONE. All the signs you listed above means the woman wants to be left alone. If someone bothers me even after I scowl at them I will cuss them out in public, I dont care if its on a train. I will tell them "WTF are you looking at, do you have a staring problem?" Obviously if someone scowls it means they want to be left alone. I would look anyway and respond with a smartass comment. I love it when people just blow up in public because of such silly things like being looked at. If you don't want to be seen, cover up or don't go out. I'm a scowler too, but I don't get made if someone still is looking, even if it is annoying to me.:cool: DNR Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Some women dont LIKE men and want to be left ALONE. All the signs you listed above means the woman wants to be left alone. Well, I like men, but generally don't like to be approached in public. I find it creepy. I would rather meet guys in a more formal setting than just randomly on the streets. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Actually I don't want to meet any men, I decided I want to be live alone forever until I die so I always give signals in public to BACK OFF. I never smile, I always look pissed off and irritable is the word, very irritable, I scowl, and if I accidentally look at someone I scowl. If someone attempts to talk to me I just don't talk back, if a person asks me anything I'll either give them a dirty look and completely ignore them or tell them its none of their business and get the F out... Trust me, if someone is SCOWLING at you they do not want to meet you, why are you even to make eye contact after they scowled at you???? If someone did that to me I would think they are starting **** and think they are stalker and be EXTRA rude to them. I might even cuss at them under my breath or out loud depending on my mood. WHY would you try to make eye contact to a woman on the train after she scowled at you? It means she wants to be left alone and wants nothing to do with you. I would be ticked off and explode and lose it completely depending on my mood if someone was trying to look at me etc after I gave an obvious signal to leave me the F alone! My, aren't you a treat. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 What signs heh? - throwing my head back and licking/biting my lips while looking at him straight in the eyes.. - EC, smiling and stroking my thighs how's that for signs? Honestly.. I don't know.. each woman is different.. depending if they're shy or not.. My advice: just go to the ones you like.. the worst case scenario - they'll say they're not interested.. period.. no big deal.. just go with your gut feeling.. Link to post Share on other sites
cutegirl Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 I would look anyway and respond with a smartass comment. I love it when people just blow up in public because of such silly things like being looked at. If you don't want to be seen, cover up or don't go out. I'm a scowler too, but I don't get made if someone still is looking, even if it is annoying to me.:cool: DNR If you walk into the wrong part of town and LOOK at someone the wrong way you can get shot... if you look at the wrong person... I am not saying that is justified of course, I am just saying that I am not to be messed with me. If someone messes with me, I will mess with them back. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 The big problem is, you already look not to be messed with, so people think you're going to be hostile (which you are) and so their defences are already going to be up..... Shame really, to look at the world with a 'don't mess with me' look.... That's a guaranteed 'be lonely and alone', really..... I personally find it sad. Not that you have my pity. We make this world what we make of it..... Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 I'm super shy when it comes to this kind of thing - so I'm not sure I give off ANY kind of signal. But I don't understand why people can't just talk civilly to one another in public without one or the other thinking the other is a creep. I'll talk to somebody if they approach to talk to me - I am friendly, just not outgoing. If he's somebody I'm not interested in, then I might keep personal information close to the vest and keep my answers pretty short and not show an interest by asking questions in return. Of course, if the GUY were the one looking at ME first, I'd probably give him a demure little smile. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
cutegirl Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 The big problem is, you already look not to be messed with, so people think you're going to be hostile (which you are) and so their defences are already going to be up..... Shame really, to look at the world with a 'don't mess with me' look.... That's a guaranteed 'be lonely and alone', really..... I personally find it sad. Not that you have my pity. We make this world what we make of it..... Just because someone is alone doesn't make them lonely or sad. Some people CHOOSE to be alone because they are content on their own and don't need another human to complete them. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship or get married. Link to post Share on other sites
cutegirl Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 dam! let's hope for your sake you don't happen to smile or make eye contact with cutegirl. Trust me, I am not a cutesy type of girl. I picked the name randomly because I didn't want to use any other nicknames I use on any other forums so that nosy people would not be able to google me and stalk me on LoveShack. I wanted a name to use only on this site so I picked the first thing that came to my mind. It has nothing to do with how I really am as a person. I am not a cutesy type of person, trust me on that. Link to post Share on other sites
blkqwn7 Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 I'm having a hard time going against my traditional idea/view of cold approaching women...which is both parties make EC, smile and the guy approaches. Out of every case I've come across, I've actually had one girl do it with me and of course she was interested. Most other times have been very tricky. 1)Perhaps a girl will see me in a train station as she's walking and stop and wait next to me for the train. 2)she may notice me and go back to doing what she was doing. 3)she may look in my direction (sometimes with a scowl on the face/no smile), but not look at me (more like look through me) and makes no EC with me, but I do make an attempt at EC. 4)she may notice me and maybe play or throw her hair back but go back to what she was doing /not look at me..or look down as if she's thinking. Because of these unclear signals often I do not bother approaching them. Some of the ones I've approached turned out to be attention whoring. Am I misreading these women? Are they genuinely interested or just seeking attention? Or is it because they're not as confident as I'd want to believe they are in making EC with me? Women, what do you do with a guy you're interested in and notice in public? Hey, don't know if I am using this correctly but here's my response to your interesting thread: I was raised old-fashion and really believe guy's should be approaching me. I have learned to become more assertive. I know you guy's have it hard and I don't know what race you are, not that women are all that different regardless the race. But I have noticed that White women seem to desire a lot of attention and if you aren't giving it to them they tend to assertively behave to seek it out, mind you don't twist this with that they want you because this could get you in a lot of trouble with them and any attention-gettin-seeking-chic. Black women can tend to be the same, especially this younger generation, but for the most part Black women are not seeking getting creatures, personally I get more attention than I want, so why seek for more I don't need it. Dude women in general can be complex people, I suggest you to continue attempting to read body language, and one of the things I enjoy about my experience with White men (which is who I think you are) is that you guy's don't approach me with game, but a simple hello/hi my name is. I love this simple, no pressure no games! Game playing is one of many things that have steered me away from certain Black men. Keep it real be who you are because the one who is smart enough to bite your hook will be thankful that you've allowed them to know you and you will be happy that you don't have a lot of extra pressure on yourself from trying to be someone else! Just keep trying don't get discourage and be patient it will happen. Link to post Share on other sites
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