chrissi Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I think my ex is crazy, but I love him. He can be really sweet and affectionate, positive and hilarious, dependable and responsible…but can switch almost instantly to angry and mean, negative and hopeless, untrustworthy and irresponsible. It drove me crazy and I think it drives him crazy. Maybe I’m crazy because I miss him, but I do. I know I’m not perfect, and that I would want someone to give me another shot if I did something I regretted (and he always would apologize)…so should I give him another shot? I know he cheated on me and he wouldn’t come home occasionally and wouldn’t call…but I wasn’t making myself someone to want to come home to. An old friend moved in a couple months ago and now is a new boyfriend…and I can’t help comparing the two. I miss hanging out with my ex and all the affection and laughs, and for some reason all the bad things he said and did don’t make me angry…and I almost wish they did, because it would make things simpler. My new boyfriend adores me but he is very intense, he’s always around and he’s a bit argumentative. There’s a certain amount of subliminal criticism that I’m not quite sure if I’m overreacting to. He says he likes to mess with people and he thinks it helps sharpen them, but he does come off as condescending at times…but he also can make me feel so special, and gives me the best compliments I’ve ever heard. I think by not getting over my ex it’s making it impossible to move forward with my new boyfriend, but I don’t now if a want to move forward with him! My ex keeps saying he wants to come home and that he misses me, and now its come to the point that if I don’t make a decision in the next couple days, I’ll lose both of them. Advise please!?[/sIZE][/FONT]
lofi_tokyo Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 You really are caught in a tough situation!! I guess my first question is, how long have you and your ex been broken up, and did you dump him? If you did, and hes been trying for months to get you back, have you been broken up long enough for him to have actually changed (I'm talking 5+ months)? I guess I'll just put a few things down in point form: -If you get back together with your ex, I suspect problems from before he cheated may come back to haunt you, unless he (and you) have REALLY had time to grow as people. -As for your new beau, he sounds okay... but he sounds a bit like one of my ex's from way back, condescending but feeling okay for it because hey, people need to hear it. He probably openly admits hes his own worst critic, and he knows he makes mistakes too, but lets face it, he still comes off as pretentious. I think the relationship can work if you're sincerely interested, as long as you stop bad behavior early on. If you let it slide now, he'll never stop. If you talk to him about it and he wont change... ditch him. Going to your ex afterwards? Thats another question ;p
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