johnnyboy8786 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 so we broke up back in august, we seen eachother here and there till the begginng of october then i went strict NC for 18 days untill she contacted me saying sorry for the break up. so i called her we talked for 2 hours, we decided to meet for lunch... so a few days pass and then we meet.. and it was great to see her but we ended up arguing about what had happend with us.. she was madd at me for how i acted during the relationship. and i was mad at her for how she ended the relationship.... one thing that we both said is that we still love eachother.. so that being said how do i fix us? do we need more time apart.... so neither of us is mad anymore.. please give me your input, because i miss my babe so bad and i want her to come home.
samspade Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 You made a mistake meeting her. Forget it, forget her, move on.
Dmoney28 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 Well, honestly if you guys want to save this relationship, if it can be saved. You need to take at least a month apart. During this month, do some personal reflecting. Address your probems, and the cause of your problems in the relationship. Personal reading(slef help, relationship books), possible individual councelling. Whatever it takes to better yourself. Then meet and take it slow at first.
BCCA Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 Well, I think you both need to start with a level head. Everything, good or bad, that happened between you two was the result of both of your actions. Nothing is any one persons fault. With that said, fault is meaningless to try and determine, you need to focus on the problems and how to fix them, not whose responsible for them. I would suggest taking a step back, and making a list of everything that you see wrong with what you two had. Then, calmly, discuss them with her, see if she has anything to add, and see if shes open to counseling. The key thing is that no one should get mad, because the goal is not to assign blame, its to make the relationship work. Everyone needs to take their responsibility for everything that went wrong, and focus on improving it. Being angry gets you nowhere, and can be avoided. Neither of you are perfect, we all have faults. Put those aside and figure out how to smooth things out.
samspade Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 If you dwell on saving it you're just going to be more miserable. Work on yourself, for your sake. To do this, you have to have a "move on" mentality. That means no contact. And try dating someone else - you'll be surprised.
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