BikerBeagle Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 Here is the post on my situation: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t168202/ Pretty much a total rebound situation, I thought it wouldn't happen to me ...to 'us'. After 5 days of NC, I finally broke down yesterday and texted her, just asking if there was any chance to work it out. I know it's the wrong thing to do, but I really just felt like I had to reach out one more time just to see. She responded last night with an email that pretty much confirmed every conclusion I had reached ...that she has fallen back into "something" with her ex ...couldn't have 2 men in her heart, so she was getting away from both of us (although she did mention that she and him would "probably" end up dating again ...so, essentially, she's just getting away from me). So, anyways, I responded with an email of my own ...pretty much the basic "no regrets, I'll miss you, best of luck" closure email, nothing harsh or mean. Probably didn't need to do that either, could've just gone back to NC, but I wanted to say those things to her and feel a little better for it. So, let the healing begin. I can't say I've fallen back to square one. Just *knowing* what was happening was a load off, I honestly feel better. I miss her, of course, but I'm not even sure a lot of my 'pain' is caused by her so much as the thought that I'm alone again. I guess this is a case where breaking NC was a good thing.
MichiganMan222 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I did the same thing. I was terrible at NC as long as I couldn't let go. And I couldn't let go until I knew she was with someone else. I found out she was. It hurt bad, BUT, I am SO different now. I have no desire whatsoever to contact her. I stopped monitoring my phone and email for her to send something. It hurts, but it put me at the acceptance stage which I simply could not find.
BlueDog Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I wish it had worked like that for me. I was OK with the breakup until I found out he had started seeing someone else already, and then I started going nuts. Of course, it would help if he didn't keep telling me that he's not sure about her and not sure if he and I are totally finished. I need to find a real shot of NC willpower from somewhere...
Vertex Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 Sometimes uncertainty eats away at you more painfully than the truth. Sometimes the truth can really set you free -- simply knowing your concerns were valid is closure enough to move on.
MichiganMan222 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 Exactly! I was going nuts not knowing. Once I found out, I had something I could deal with and I am dealing with it. Its MUCH easier now. I finally felt like I could look forward rather than backwards and start doing some real healing rather than stuck in that endless cycle of trying to revive something on its last breathe. I felt like as long as she wasn't with someone, the relationship was still on life-support and recoverable. But when they are with someone else, its DOA and time to bury.
Sysyphus28 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 the truth sets you free................when you know that they are A.) with someone else now B.) a different person now C.) No good for you lets all move on............................. thank you LS have a good day everyone.
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