Vertex Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 "If these things are what you want then why do so many run off with the psycho trailer trash skank leaving the nice cool girl?" Lack of blood to fuel two vital organs simultaneously. Usually, though, you learn your lesson once you figure out how foolish it is to jump into the game without reading up on the rules. But, nowadays, if I could find a nice cool girl who was into me, I'd be all for that
Author Ruby Slippers Posted October 29, 2008 Author Posted October 29, 2008 Oh, one of my best friends is a Libra, and her fiance is a Cancer (like me). I guess I am bad at guessing signs over the Internet. Forgot to respond to this -- this almost describes me perfectly. I always got involved with girls without really considering whether or not they met the "bottom line" standards. Usually, the red flags that occur near the beginning tend to be contributing factors to the end in some way. I've always been one to "overlook" these blatant red flags in hopes that they were either things that could be worked out or changed, but in my experience, it's just too hard to do this. YES. And when you're the female, being aggressively pursued, it can be hard to resist. In the beginning, my last guy was great except for one thing -- he lived in another city. We had been friends for years, but one of us was always in a relationship. As soon as we were both single, he turned on the heat. At first I was adamant that I was NOT going to do long-distance. But he kept wearing me down, pouring on the charm, telling me that if things went well, he would be open to moving to my city. And I had recently gone through a devastating breakup, and he was "there for me". (Classic, right? Is this in the men's tactical playbook?) Eventually, against my better judgment, I caved. And while the LD portion of the relationship was terrific, and he really stepped up with visiting me often and making us a priority, everything changed once he moved here. If I had stuck to my guns from the beginning, I wouldn't have wasted all that time. Well, it wasn't a total waste, but the whole ordeal set me back in terms of some personal goals and progress. So, I am in total agreement -- next time, I am going to be much more selective. Because I honestly would rather be single than be with someone who's not right for me. I know how to be happy on my own. I don't need the wrong guy messing that up for me!
Vertex Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 Glad to hear, Ruby I can relate to the long-distance dynamic, too. One of my relationships caved in once the "long-distance relationship" suddenly lost the "long-distance" prefix on a more permanent basis -- things just kinda fell apart in a major way. Spending some time being single might be a healthy thing, really. I've spent a lot of time in bad relationships because I wasn't fully secure, and this was all sort of hindering progress that needed to be made. But eh, better late than never. At the very least, I'm young enough (22) to be glad to have learned these lessons early on.
Mahatma Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 Besides sex, I love these things in a relationship: A girl who is easy going and relaxed most of the time. I can not stand up tight women. Intelligence is SOOOO attractive. If we can have a good educated talk, you earn yourself some serious brownie points with me. Willing to try new things (no, not talking about sexual stuff here): Anything from different types of foods, sports, and just things you do not normally do. Friendly, not flirty. The MOST important thing I look for is happiness. You have to be a happy person. I am a happy person and I can not stand people who are just sad by nature. Not to say you can't tell me about your bad days and when your cat dies, but the women who complain about every little bad thing that happened in their day, that typically happens to everyone, drive me nuts. I personally think my girlfriend is the hottest when she is laughing or smiling. I just find it attractive. edit: I really like what fral945 said about the ability to be "reasoned with." That is a very important quality that some women lack...
carhill Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 For me, it's simple ..... someone who inspires me. With that, everything else follows...
kizik Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I agree w/ Mahatma... Intelligence and inner happiness. That's it. But, you gotta be cute. I don't want no smart happy ugly b*tches.
MrMe Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Lets see...what do I want. First of all she has to be attractive. There has to be a physical attraction or it could never work. Not being shallow, just realistic/honest. Secondly, she has to be intelligent. I'm a really smart guy. Not to brag, but I mean, really smart. I need someone who can match my intelligence. The "cute-but-ditsy" could never work with me. I would go insane. Intelligence is a definite turn-on. I cannot stress it enough: Intelligence is a definite turn-on! A girl that wont try to have sex with me too soon. Maybe its just me, but im not necessarily attracted to girls who are too eager to have sex. I want a girl that will tell me know and wants to actually get to know me first. lol I want a girl who is fun, funny, pretty laid-back, not too uptight. She should be moderately outgoing. Not too shy, but not off-the-wall outgoing. Im on the shy/quiet side so I need her to be my balancing counterpart. I want/(need) a girl who can be open around me. She has to feel like she can be herself around me, not having to hide anything. She has to completely trust me and be comfortable trusting me (and I have to completely trust her, too). I should be able to be myself around her, and she should feel the same way. I want a girl who will love me for who I am. Who can look at me and see all my faults and flaws, but can love me in spite of them. A girl that can recognize that we're both humans, destined to make mistakes, but determined to try hard to overcome them. I want a girl who makes me feel special. Women always talk about guys making them feel special...well guess what...we (or at least I) want that too! LOL. I want a girl that will tell me that I make her feel special. Im not looking for a girl who is just like me. I need/want a girl that will be everything that im not. I want a girl who completes me, and I complete her (yes, I know, cliche, but I mean it). Hell, I need the lovey-dovey mushy crap..
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