the theory about "getting someone back" according to my friends

[alwayssme]

I HATE it when people tell me this. the only way you can get someone back is "by showing indifference and acting like you don't care" or "by showing them you're happy with someone else". i hate it because i don't believe it's true (for some cases it might be) but usually when someone is SURE of their decision of not wanting to be with you, nothing will change their mind. of course they would feel jealous and it would hurt their ego but i don't think it would make them want to come back. yet my friends keep insisting it's the ONLY way, if there is ANY hope at all. But this is like playing with fire and I could risk losing his friendship. i KNOW he is never coming back and i don't feel like playing games. What do you guys think about this theory? I'm sure most of you have heard it.

[LoveDeluxe78]

I HATE it when people tell me this. the only way you can get someone back is "by showing indifference and acting like you don't care" or "by showing them you're happy with someone else". i hate it because i don't believe it's true (for some cases it might be) but usually when someone is SURE of their decision of not wanting to be with you, nothing will change their mind. of course they would feel jealous and it would hurt their ego but i don't think it would make them want to come back. yet my friends keep insisting it's the ONLY way, if there is ANY hope at all. But this is like playing with fire and I could risk losing his friendship. i KNOW he is never coming back and i don't feel like playing games. What do you guys think about this theory? I'm sure most of you have heard it.

 

If a person doesn't want you back, there is NOTHING you can do! It's a harsh reality, even one I'm dealing with at the moment! With that said, the advice your friend gave you only maximizes your chances of them wanting you back if there is an inkling of that!!! It's not a guarantee, but it usually works because you took the pressure off of them and allows them some space and sometimes people "don't know what they've lost til it's gone"!! With that said, you shouldn't be pretending, you should really be trying to get over this person, be at a place where you are really over them!!!! Trust me, it's hard, I'm at that point right now!! What I would do is just to give him his space, don't call, don't write any letters/send any emails, don't try to purposely run into him, don't ask your mutual friends about him. Just try and move on! If things were to work out, then he will contact you again and if not, then you weren't meant to be, and you're better off! I know, I know, easier said than done! Moving on should not be about wanting results, it should be for your own sake, but with that said, if he were to want you back and realize he made a mistake, having moved on is when the other partner usually realizes this.

[maxmuscle]

The only way this truly works depends on how you acted towards him/her during the relationship. People can become so blind and so stupid in the mist of turmoil. They are often not in tune on how they are feeling at the moment. They just cannot identify with their true emotions and feelings. Time away does tell it all at some point, but by then; Would YOU still have the same feelings if they do realize that they still want you?

 

It is game that is forced upon us to play after a broken relationship. It sucks! This happen to me a while back. I played the NC rule, she came back, but it was never the same. It went back down the same frustrating road......

[norajane]

People break up because something is broken in the relationship. Until and unless the underlying issues are resolved, even if you got back together, you would break up again as soon as the old issues resurfaced.

 

However, your friends are right, to a point. Indifference won't get someone back necessarily, but hounding them and begging or pleading, or even calling and texting periodically to say 'hi' is so lame and generally pushes the other person even further away. But indifference is no guarantee of getting anyone back. Nothing will get them back if they don't want to be with you.