lexi29 Posted October 28, 2008 Posted October 28, 2008 What is normal for a 9 year old boy? He loves watching cartoons, will watch CSI and wrestling and Bones and shows like that if we watch them. But the other day my fiance told me that he was outside on the porch and his son ran outside and told him to come in and watch this great tv show with him. He told him he'd be inside in a minute. He could hear his son say8ing "wow look at that! and "nice jugs!" and he came in to see what in the world he was talking about and his son was watching the Hooters swimsuit beauty pagent or something like that. My fiance let him watch the rest of it (my fiance obviously didn't mind watching it) and he said he just laughed in disbelief because he'd never heard his son talk like that before. Now I don't think he got that from my fiance. My fiance will say that women are "hot" and his son has taken to saying that. But my fiance is not a breast guy and I've never heard him use the word "jugs" in my life, nor does he admire women's breasts in front of others (at least not outloud) He is partial to butts so I could see if his son picked up "nice ass" or something but not ohhing and ahhing over a woman in a swimsuit's breasts. So me must have picked that up from his mom's live in boyfriend or the new guy that his son told us she is cheating on her live in boyfriend with (he was at his mom's this weekend). He might have picked this up from his grandpa who watches a lot of porn on the computer but I doubt he'd do something that like in front of a 9 year old! Is it normal for a 9 year old boy to suddenly be so interested in admiring women in skimpy underwear?? How should my fiance handle this. (I don't agree he did the right thing by letting him continue to watch the show, but I wasnt' there to say anything)
quankanne Posted October 28, 2008 Posted October 28, 2008 both of y'all need to be calm, and explain that yes, the girl has a lovely figure, but in all honestly, it's kind of being mean to someone when you use those phrases to describe their body parts _ that the human body is truly a beautiful thing, to be respected. because (1) it gives him a healthy sense of self-respect, (2) it gives him a healthy sense of respect for others and (3) it hopefully keeps him from growing up into a piggish jerk. at that age, his interest sounds about normal ... though it's been awhile since I've dealt with prepubescent boys! The grandpa downloading porn on the computer thing is a bit gross, though!
stampdaddy Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 My son, who is 9, and all of his friends, and all of the footballplayers and baseball players that he plays with are 9, and honestly, I don't believe that any of them would talk like that.. Maybe an embarrassing "hubba, hubba", or if a few of them were together at a sleep over they would kid around about it for a minute, but again they would be more embarrassed.. So, I don't think it is normal... JMHO
2sunny Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 my best guess is that they've watched something like this before. if he called his Dad to come watch - then he clearly understood that Dad would be ok with it. he also knew what channel to find it on (unless he was just surfing around... but usually kids that age know what channel they want at specific times for shows). not really your business - was/is Dad's to deal with... and once again he dropped the ball when the opportunity was there to teach his son a lesson in life regarding respect and boundaries for language and acceptable/unacceptable behavior... no different than what his Dad always does - allows the boy to do as he pleases without pointing out decency. who is the child here? you seeing a pattern here Lexi? it was pointed out to you six months ago. look where ignoring the obvious has gotten you. not to mention that it is NOT your position to do anything about any of it... your BF is just not capable of giving the boy guidance as he is growing up. sad really...
Green Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 Sounds normal too me. I'd be more concerned with the fact that he knows about his mother cheating on her bf... not that theres anything you can do about that.
Mary3 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I don't think the 9 year old's behavior is all that normal. At 9 years old we are still playing with toys , have no clue about sex , adult bodies do not interest us much.... I think the boy has watched something at someone's house and thats where he got "Look at those Jugs , Look at that _______" Unless of course his dad was watching something naughty and the son saw it and dad is in denial. I just really don't think 9 year olds think much about women's breasts. Now if you said he was 11 or 12 I might be more inclined to believe it.
tanbark813 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I just really don't think 9 year olds think much about women's breasts. I disagree. Age 9 is about the time I started developing sexual interest in women.
ed-205 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I don't think there are any hard and fast rules about when a boy develops an interest in women. What I think is *unhealthy* is if he is somehow forced to feel guilty or shameful about it whenever it does happen. Obviously, having an older male to help guide him about his new interests is a plus.
Trialbyfire Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I'd be more worried about how the boy knows his mother cheats and his grandfather downloads porn. Not a healthy environment for a child.
Meaplus3 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I do not believe a 9 year old boy should be talking that way. My son is 8 1/2 but has some friends of his from sport's that are 9 and 10 and none of them talk in that manner..really it's too young IMO. AP:)
stampdaddy Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I do not believe a 9 year old boy should be talking that way. My son is 8 1/2 but has some friends of his from sport's that are 9 and 10 and none of them talk in that manner..really it's too young IMO. AP:) Hey, that's what I said copy cat....
Meaplus3 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 Hey, that's what I said copy cat.... Look at it this way. "Great minds think alike". AP:)
Author lexi29 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Posted October 29, 2008 I'd be more worried about how the boy knows his mother cheats and his grandfather downloads porn. Not a healthy environment for a child. He has no idea his grandfather downloads porn or that his mother cheats. I just mentioned his grandfather as maybe he's heard grandpa talking about women that way. I know for a fact when he was five his mother's live in boyfriend let him watch part of a porn movie (he told us). He does say things about sex and has from a young age (about five) anytime we were in a room and if we locked the door he would say "YOUR HAVING SEX!" even though he had no idea what sex was. He also knows his mom and boyfriend take showers together but thinks his dad and I never see eachother naked (if his dad is taking a shower he will tell me to close my eyes). He doesn't know his mother is cheating on her live in boyfriend because I don't think he knows it is wrong to have another man over to stay while "daddy" is at work. He just mentioned to us that his mom had another guy over this weekend while mom's boyfriend was at work and she made sure he left before the boyfriend got home. This is not the first guy he's told us about (she does it all the time). I think it bothers me more that he doesn't know its wrong.
Trialbyfire Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 He has no idea his grandfather downloads porn or that his mother cheats. I just mentioned his grandfather as maybe he's heard grandpa talking about women that way. I know for a fact when he was five his mother's live in boyfriend let him watch part of a porn movie (he told us). He does say things about sex and has from a young age (about five) anytime we were in a room and if we locked the door he would say "YOUR HAVING SEX!" even though he had no idea what sex was. He also knows his mom and boyfriend take showers together but thinks his dad and I never see eachother naked (if his dad is taking a shower he will tell me to close my eyes). He doesn't know his mother is cheating on her live in boyfriend because I don't think he knows it is wrong to have another man over to stay while "daddy" is at work. He just mentioned to us that his mom had another guy over this weekend while mom's boyfriend was at work and she made sure he left before the boyfriend got home. This is not the first guy he's told us about (she does it all the time). I think it bothers me more that he doesn't know its wrong. If at all possible, is there any way you two could get full-time custody of the child? This is sick.
Mary3 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I disagree. Age 9 is about the time I started developing sexual interest in women. Really ? When I was 9 my brother and I were building forts and playing in the desert. We chased lizards and played in the flood channels . When I was 10 1/2 I came across a paper back book. In it were graphic descriptions of 2 people and alot of ohhhhhhhhhh's and THATS when I figured out what sex might be. I went home and got my barbie dolls and had one barbie lay on top of the other barbie. That was it for sexual interest until I was 13 and felt desire and was first kissed by a guy. My parents never talked about sex. I learned in health class about the uterus and the sperm. I heard girls talking in the bathroom when I was 12 and they talked about giving head and doing it all the way. So most of us learned about sex from bathroom stalls or friends talking. I still ( well then again these 2008 kids are exposed to way much more than I ever could even fathom ) I still think its not normal for a 9 year old to be talking about breasts. I think 9 year olds think girls are still kinda yucky , right ? I think by 12 most boys and girls are going through puberty and think about masterbation and sexual desire.
tanbark813 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I still think its not normal for a 9 year old to be talking about breasts. I think 9 year olds think girls are still kinda yucky , right ? I didn't. I was diving into recycle bins looking for Playboys. But then I was an advanced child growing up.
Author lexi29 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Posted October 29, 2008 If at all possible, is there any way you two could get full-time custody of the child? This is sick. No, we've tried that. The courts do not see any reason to take him away from his mother. Infidelity is not a factor to the courts. And to reiterate in case anyone thinks this- he does not know his grandfather watches porn. I am aware of that fact from seeing the history on his computer. I don't know how he acts when he's around his grandson but he is one person who may have said something objectifying women in front of him, I have no idea. He did have a friend who was 11 who talked about stuff like that a lot though.
Mary3 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I didn't. I was diving into recycle bins looking for Playboys. But then I was an advanced child growing up. I know of one person who told me when they were 10 they were messing around with various things. I guess maybe boys feel it earlier than girls ? But okay if that were your 9 year old son Tan , would you throw playboys mags at him and give him sex advice and condoms ? Or at least give me an idea whats okay for a 9 year old ....
Trialbyfire Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 No, we've tried that. The courts do not see any reason to take him away from his mother. Infidelity is not a factor to the courts. And to reiterate in case anyone thinks this- he does not know his grandfather watches porn. I am aware of that fact from seeing the history on his computer. I don't know how he acts when he's around his grandson but he is one person who may have said something objectifying women in front of him, I have no idea. He did have a friend who was 11 who talked about stuff like that a lot though. What about the extra b/f who showed a 5 year old pornography? I'm guessing the courts would consider this not only inappropriate but edging on pedophiliac tendencies.
tanbark813 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 But okay if that were your 9 year old son Tan , would you throw playboys mags at him and give him sex advice and condoms ? Or at least give me an idea whats okay for a 9 year old .... I wouldn't give him Playboys or condoms at 9, no. I wouldn't be surprised if he were trying to get his hands on porn on his own, but I wouldn't facilitate it. If he asked about sex I'd answer as honestly as I could though. But take that with a grain of salt since I've never been in that position. But to go back to the OP, I don't find it surprising for a 9 year old to say "nice jugs". I do think it's a little bold to say it in front of his dad though.
Mary3 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I wouldn't give him Playboys or condoms at 9, no. I wouldn't be surprised if he were trying to get his hands on porn on his own, but I wouldn't facilitate it. If he asked about sex I'd answer as honestly as I could though. But take that with a grain of salt since I've never been in that position. But to go back to the OP, I don't find it surprising for a 9 year old to say "nice jugs". I do think it's a little bold to say it in front of his dad though. You see the only problem is : I don't think a 9 year olds brain is filled with porn and how to get his hands on some. He is more worried about riding his bicycle and hanging out with friends doing boy things. Porn is an adult thing... At least until a kid gets a puberty spurt and girls magically transform into someone they want to chase in a good way. I understand Tan that you developed early. hehe. But seriously Posters how many 9 years olds are consumed with sex ? I dont know many if none...
tanbark813 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I understand Tan that you developed early. hehe. But seriously Posters how many 9 years olds are consumed with sex ? I think you're generalizing a little too much here. There's a difference between commenting on breasts and being consumed by sex. When I was 9 I was in 4th grade and remember there was a 5th grade girl in the school who was one of the first girls to get boobs. I liked what I saw at the time but I didn't know anything about sex really.
Mary3 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I think you're generalizing a little too much here. There's a difference between commenting on breasts and being consumed by sex. When I was 9 I was in 4th grade and remember there was a 5th grade girl in the school who was one of the first girls to get boobs. I liked what I saw at the time but I didn't know anything about sex really. I knew a girl who was 8 and got her cycle. She developed breasts soon after ...Okay sorry for generalizing. We are each unique in how we develop .
stampdaddy Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 I wouldn't give him Playboys or condoms at 9, no. I wouldn't be surprised if he were trying to get his hands on porn on his own, but I wouldn't facilitate it. If he asked about sex I'd answer as honestly as I could though. But take that with a grain of salt since I've never been in that position. But to go back to the OP, I don't find it surprising for a 9 year old to say "nice jugs". I do think it's a little bold to say it in front of his dad though. Tanbark, I respect you, and your humor and logic, I DO... ask WWIU... but do you have a son? AND if that son of yours was 9??? how would you want him to be? Watching porn or saying "Hey Pops, look at these chicks tits?" 9 years old is 9 years old and they are BOYS
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