hyoctane Posted October 28, 2008 Posted October 28, 2008 I'm new here! I thought I would be able to express my feelings and lay stuff out on the table to people who are going through similar situations... I have a few questions and concerns: Preface: My wife and I were high school sweethearts -- we dated for four years and we have been married for four and a half years. We met when we were 17 and we are both now 25. Unfortunately we have experienced some rocky times and we agreed to mutually separate. Things happened during our separation that I cannot forgive her for... My intention on "separating" was to work on us, her's was just to being the divorce process. I have been seeking counseling and it has helped me greatly! I have seen my progress in hindsight and I know that I am on the right path... the only thing is, what will others think of me? I mean, when I get back out there and I am able to "date" again (after I heal) how will women relate to me? I mean, I'm always told that I'm a great catch... I'm dedicated, have a stable job, active, love to have fun and I consider myself fairly attractive. (not trying to toot my own horn, sorry) -- I'm just afraid once I begin my trek of dating that the word "divorce" will scare women away! And if I'm "such a great catch" than why am I so intimidated by the whole thing? I'm just scared that I will be wearing a scarlet letter that will always point me out as being divorced. I know I'm not a failure, but sometimes I feel as if I am... I don't know. Can I get some female insight?
2sure Posted October 28, 2008 Posted October 28, 2008 First, as you may have guessed if you've been reading here - Do Not Date Until Your Divorce is Final. It doesnt sound like you feel you are ready for that anyway. As to being Divorced and on the market...women will think....nothing at all. According to statistics, most of the women you will be dating will also be divorced. If you have children, some women your age may be hesitant to begin a life with a man already having a family. Because of your young age, most people will simply think of your first marriage as a Do-Over.
AnonyMOUSE18 Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 Yeah, believe me, nobody will mind you being divorced!! I've been dating like a fiend ever since my divorce, and nobody has ever minded my divorced status. It's actually a source of bonding, in some cases where the guy also went through a divorce, or had an engagement break off. You're not alone!! It doesn't sound like you're ready yet, and it's GREAT that you are aware of this. I jumped in head-first, and got hurt a bunch of times because I was still too raw to date anyone in a normal way. Focus on yourself and figuring out what YOU want to do with your new freedom and new life!! Do things you enjoy, and make new friends!! The old friends help, too, but new friends definitely help you transition into a strong, new sense of yourself. I'm a huge advocate of friendship building, during this important divorce healing process. =) Best of luck!! -Hilarie
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