LoveDeluxe78 Posted October 28, 2008 Posted October 28, 2008 First of all, I wanted to wish everyone here the best of luck in getting over their ex-significant others! Stay strong!!! It's funny that everytime I go through a breakup, I'm back here posting it!!! But I guess it helps me to vent. I was dating a guy for 3 months with whom I had the most amazing time!!! But he always kept himself somewhat emotionally distant from me - like he would rarely call me except to initiate dates. We went out to concerts, dinners, drinking, he taught me how to play drums, baseball games before the season ended for my team, and I just always felt so free, so adventurous around him!!! We were always ready to have a good time! Because I sensed that he wasn't wanting to get heavily emotionally invested, I also kept my distance to see what played out instead of trying to be clingy and always questioning where things were going!!! He kept asking me out, and we kept hanging out, but the last time we hung out, we had the most amazing time, and then when he kissed me in the morning after we left each other, he stroked my arm and told me to have a good day at work!!! It was such a regular routine and I just figured I would see him again! We were seeing each other about once a week at that point! And then that was it!!!!!! I never heard from him again!!!!!!! So this post, I guess, really isn't about what happened! I'm just venting because I'm really hurt that he never felt the need to end things with me! About 2.5 weeks have gone by, and in dating time, that's quite a long time! And the hard part is that we are so "connected" in the sense that he's on my AIM, Yahoo Messenger, Facebook, and I am constantly aware when he's online!!!! I'm trying to do the best I can with NC, but it's hard when they are always virtually in your face!!! Would it seem petty to delete him from FB? I don't know, I guess most of you guys can't sympathize with me since some of you guys are getting over some substantial, long term relationships, but it still hurts nevertheless!!!! Just trying to make it through the night without feeling too sad!
BikerBeagle Posted October 28, 2008 Posted October 28, 2008 Petty or not, you really should 'erase' him from your life completely ...FB, IM, Yahoo Messenger ...it's part of the process.
Author LoveDeluxe78 Posted October 28, 2008 Author Posted October 28, 2008 Petty or not, you really should 'erase' him from your life completely ...FB, IM, Yahoo Messenger ...it's part of the process. Yeah, you're right! Since a lot of our interactions these days include the internet, I guess that is also part of the NC process! I've been torturing myself seeing photos of his adventures on FB, how happy he is, how quickly he's over me, and seeing him online without saying anything to me. I've done it, deleted him from everything and here's to hoping he's just going to be a distant memory. Now, should I bother asking him why he just picked up and disappeared like that?
Trialbyfire Posted October 28, 2008 Posted October 28, 2008 I think you've answered your own question about how he picked up and disappeared like that. It sounds like he's the runaway type, not looking for commitment. But he always kept himself somewhat emotionally distant from me - like he would rarely call me except to initiate dates.
coolchic Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 that last night you were with him I am assuming you had sex with him, you did not come out and say that, but it is important, and how long had you known him before that last night? I dated a guy once that I was totally in love with, and we had a great time together, however, he ended up confessing to me years later that he had a major problem when it came to having feelings for someone and he always ran away, and that is what he did in my case. When we started talking again years later (15 yrs to be exact) he tried to get back with me, and told me that the way he felt about me is what people look for their whole life and never find, and then 2 days later he tells me that he is getting back with his ex wife. The second time, we did not sleep together and actually did alot of talking for about 2 yrs before he said what he said. The way I look at it is this: I am done! He has a problem, and I am not making it mine. sorry to ramble, hopefully I made a point
Lishy Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 LD, I admire you!!! Well done for just deleteing him, that is a big thing to do when you really like someone and it is sometimes easier to torture yourself by checking up on them online I would not ask him why, if he didnt have the decency to let you know then dont give him the pleasure of knowing it bothers you!! It is HIS loss and one day he will know it Keep strong and we are here if you need us xx
Author LoveDeluxe78 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Posted October 29, 2008 LD, I admire you!!! Well done for just deleteing him, that is a big thing to do when you really like someone and it is sometimes easier to torture yourself by checking up on them online I would not ask him why, if he didnt have the decency to let you know then dont give him the pleasure of knowing it bothers you!! It is HIS loss and one day he will know it Keep strong and we are here if you need us xx Aaww...Lishy, thank you!!! I really think in some ways the internet makes it so difficult when things end - it makes the "out of sight out of mind" concept so much more difficult, but I knew I had to delete him from everything to get over him! As for the reasons why, you're right, if he didn't have the decency to tell me, no inquiring, pleading, playing on his guilt, etc..will work (and if it does, who knows whether he's going to be honest about it) so you're right, I think I'm better off just doing NC - real life and virtual, and begin moving on! Thanks again!
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