silent angel Posted October 28, 2008 Posted October 28, 2008 This is my first post and it is genuinely a friend I am talking about. I will tell my own sorry tale soon enough. A few weeks ago my friend found out her husband was having an affair. She found out because the woman concerned phoned her and told her. She told her dates, places, times. But her husband has concocted this tale of it being nothing more than a few internet chats. The woman told of phonecalls he received from his wife while he was with her and what was said to verify what she was saying was true, but he said that this woman must have been stalking him and in the restaurant he runs when the calls came in and she overheard. There's a lot of similar things that he has given excuses for. Now my problem is that she has chosen to believe him. And that is her choice and I am trying to support her. But here's the thing. I know it's true. I saw them, several times, kissing in the street etc. But I said nothing because I didn't want to cause trouble (and in a way I'm glad I didn't because when faced with the truth she didn't believe it). So what do I do when inside I'm screaming he's a lying bastard. And if anyone else has been in her position, how can you believe? Is it you chose not to believe the woman? Is it shock? Or arrogance that he would never do such a thing? Personally it would eat at me every minute of the day til I found out the truth but she has calmly accepted his story and all is well until he does it again. (This isn't the first time, I heard rumours previously.)
SoundTribe Posted October 28, 2008 Posted October 28, 2008 as sad is it may be, you can't tell your friend that you saw her husband. To do that would completely crush her and honestly, what she doesn't know won't hurt her. let her find out on her own. and if you tell her now, she'll get mad at you for not telling her in the first place. best to just leave it alone.
BikerBeagle Posted October 28, 2008 Posted October 28, 2008 Maybe it isn't so much a matter that she doesn't believe ...but that she has chosen to ignore it. Some people are simply so afraid of being alone, of change, etc that they will stay in these situations because, for all of his faults, it's secure and safe.
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