foxh1234 Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 I hope she doesn't contact me again, it just makes things more difficult. I woke up this morning after a terrible nightmare. One of those dreams you have where your ex is suddenly the most attractive person you've ever seen and they're in the arms of someone else. That's the second dream I've had like that in the last month or so. ----------------------------------------- Since I posted this thread, she actually tried contacting me again... The day of the election, she sent me a text message at 12:15am, I was laying in bed watching tv. She just asked what I had thought about the election outcome and said, "sorry if I woke you". Of course it didn't help matters that November 4th (that day) would have been our 4 year anniversary. Well, this time around, I didn't respond...I was actually more pissed off than I was hurt at first. I just thought back to her betraying me and how I pleaded with her to take me back, and got nothing from her, how she wouldn't even walk me out the door. And I thought to myself, "She's texting me and asking me casual questions late at night like friends...does she think nothing happened? How ignorant is she?" Anyway, I held strong and I didn't give in. I refuse to feed her ego and be friendly with her. I'd really love to tell her how much of a bitch she was to me for cheating on me, but I don't even think she's worth wasting my breath on. I'd rather continue to ignore her. The hard part is that recently, (been some 2 months now since the break up), she's just really been on my mind a lot lately...it's like a huge wave of memories of our life together hitting me, just a lot more than usual. It's causing me to have nightmares here and there, and even when I don't have a nightmare, she's the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep. Thanks for the comments guys. Good for you not responding. It is hard to do, but it is the best way to get over her. I have been where you are and it is really hard. Mine cheated as well and used to contact me all the time to keep me on the hook. Keep up the NC and get busy living and doing stuff you love. I am at 81/2 months I think since the split and I am feeling 100% better. You will get there man, just give it time. I'm pulling for ya.
Author wayfaerer1 Posted November 9, 2008 Author Posted November 9, 2008 Thanks fox - I appreciate the encouragement. I read your recent posting and felt the need to post mine as well. It's going to be tough, the road ahead, especially with the holidays coming up - I know I'm going to have a rough time with that and that she'll probably try and contact me again for whatever reason. Probably guilt. And thanks again for introducing me to Swingers - Even if it doesn't heal me it makes me laugh out loud, and laughter is the best medicine when you're feeling this way.
foxh1234 Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Thanks fox - I appreciate the encouragement. I read your recent posting and felt the need to post mine as well. It's going to be tough, the road ahead, especially with the holidays coming up - I know I'm going to have a rough time with that and that she'll probably try and contact me again for whatever reason. Probably guilt. And thanks again for introducing me to Swingers - Even if it doesn't heal me it makes me laugh out loud, and laughter is the best medicine when you're feeling this way. No prob man, I am always around if you need to vent, just pm me anytime. It will be tough, but this will make you a stronger person and you will be better suited for your next love and believe me there will be another person that you will fall in love with. If she contacts you, just ignore it. Contact will ease her guilt and boost her self esteem and do the exact opposite for you. Stick to strict NC, get your self together and move forward. lean on your friends and family, and lean on us and post as much as you need. There will always be someone here to listen and respond. YOU ARE NOT GOING THROUGH THIS ALONE!! We are right here to help. Now to talk about Swingers, It is perhaps the greatest break up movie of all time, IMHO. I still watch it all the time. Keep laughing and smiling and remember that life is short and we have to live it everyday. Good Luck man and hang in there.
EmperorR Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Good for you not responding. It is hard to do, but it is the best way to get over her. I have been where you are and it is really hard. Mine cheated as well and used to contact me all the time to keep me on the hook. Keep up the NC and get busy living and doing stuff you love. I am at 81/2 months I think since the split and I am feeling 100% better. You will get there man, just give it time. I'm pulling for ya. Do you have the link to your original story?, so I can see how far you've come, I'm only at a little over 2 months, as well I have been cheated on still having more bad days than good
foxh1234 Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Do you have the link to your original story?, so I can see how far you've come, I'm only at a little over 2 months, as well I have been cheated on still having more bad days than good Hi, I have no idea how to find it or link it, sorry. I started posting in May I think. I am not sure but I think if you click on my user name you can view all my posts.
BubblyPopcorn Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 I hope she doesn't contact me again, it just makes things more difficult. I woke up this morning after a terrible nightmare. One of those dreams you have where your ex is suddenly the most attractive person you've ever seen and they're in the arms of someone else. That's the second dream I've had like that in the last month or so. ----------------------------------------- Since I posted this thread, she actually tried contacting me again... The day of the election, she sent me a text message at 12:15am, I was laying in bed watching tv. She just asked what I had thought about the election outcome and said, "sorry if I woke you". Of course it didn't help matters that November 4th (that day) would have been our 4 year anniversary. Well, this time around, I didn't respond...I was actually more pissed off than I was hurt at first. I just thought back to her betraying me and how I pleaded with her to take me back, and got nothing from her, how she wouldn't even walk me out the door. And I thought to myself, "She's texting me and asking me casual questions late at night like friends...does she think nothing happened? How ignorant is she?" Anyway, I held strong and I didn't give in. I refuse to feed her ego and be friendly with her. I'd really love to tell her how much of a bitch she was to me for cheating on me, but I don't even think she's worth wasting my breath on. I'd rather continue to ignore her. The hard part is that recently, (been some 2 months now since the break up), she's just really been on my mind a lot lately...it's like a huge wave of memories of our life together hitting me, just a lot more than usual. It's causing me to have nightmares here and there, and even when I don't have a nightmare, she's the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep. Thanks for the comments guys. It is pretty *****y that she keeps putting you in this type of position so keep up with what your doing and don't let her. I think most of us have been on the receiving end (i.e. being cheated on) and you can't help but feel torn over what to do because you still care about the person so it's just a horrible spot to be in. What helped me when I went through it, was that even though I knew my ex loved me (in his own capacity), he did not have my best intentions at heart and that's what helped me realize in my own time, that he just wasn't the right person for me. It has to work both ways.
Author wayfaerer1 Posted November 10, 2008 Author Posted November 10, 2008 Posted by Emp... "Do you have the link to your original story?, so I can see how far you've come, I'm only at a little over 2 months, as well I have been cheated on still having more bad days than good :(" Hang in there emp. I'm right there with ya - seems like we have similar stories. As you know, and as everyone tells you on here, the only thing that helps is time, and you just have to suffer through the pain for a while. I miss my ex terribly, but at the same time I know what she did was wrong and betraying someone's trust is the ultimate wrong, so as much as I'd like to talk to her again, to go back to the way we used to be, I know that I could never trust her again, it would always be on my mind and whenever she'd go out I'd wonder what she might be doing. The hard part isn't excepting that - it's moving on. And like I said, time is the only medicine. But there is one thing you can do to treat the symptoms of the pain you're going through - stay busy. I started going to the gym and caught up with some old friends I hadn't had time for in the past. When you're not working, or not at the gym, or you just dont have anything to do - I suggest laughter and things that don't remind you of your ex - In other words, listen to music, or watch movies, or do something, anything, that is near and dear to you only, not you and your ex. Are there things you used to do for fun before you met your ex? I'm sure there is. Also remember, you've got a good heart - Cheaters will eventually look back and regret what they did. You and I will not have any regrets - we're good hearted genuine dudes, and it may not seem like it now, but there are plenty of women who appreciate that. If you ever need anything, I'm always around - I know exactly what you're going through - I'm in the thick of it myself. Like I said, the best thing to do is to distract yourself - more importantly, distract your heart that aches. You can't erase anything, but you can distract your mind and your heart - eventually the pain will become less and less because your body and your mind will get sick of grieving. Hang in there.
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