Owl Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Since slavery is forbidden, each person is free. Free to give their body to whoever they choose. Regardless if they are in a relationship (fyi marriage is a relationship) or not. You don't have to wait for the woman to file for divorce, because slavery is forbidden. The choice we have as partners is if want to remain being a partner with someone who doesn't value us as much as we would like. True enough...but remember something...there's a difference between 'slavery' and 'promises'. Remember...a married person made vows (you know, those wierd words spoken at the marriage ceremony). So its not slavery...but they did make promises, and now they're breaking them. You'd be an idiot to expect someone to just sit there quietly and accept those broken promises. That's like expecting someone not to get angry when you break a promise not to punch them in the nose. I'm fine with the idea of not marrying. Some people simply aren't wired for a monogamous relationship...so that's spiffy...as you said...don't marry at all then. You're not breaking any promises that way. But...if you DO marry...then you have vows and promises that you've committed to. There's a huge distinction between slavery (which you don't have an choice in) and marriage (which you VOLUNTARILY made promises in).
BentSpine Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 True enough...but remember something...there's a difference between 'slavery' and 'promises'.True. One's for the black and one's for the white. Nah, just kidding:They're both for the blacks. Nah, I'm really kidding. Remember...a married person made vows (you know, those wierd words spoken at the marriage ceremony).Indeed. But they didn't author their promise themselves, did they? Instead they had to choose between the whole standardised promise, which was invented in year 1550, or not marrying at all. And the prospect of not experiencing the immediate, social payoffs of marriage often wins over their nagging thought that what they are promising, is in fact not reasonable. One cannot promise to feel one way in a future time. And today people don't want to spend their only life feeling miserable. A more honest promise in church would be: "I'll be exclusive with you, as long as you continue to make me feel this good."So its not slavery...but they did make promises, and now they're breaking them.Indeed it becomes slavery only when trying to force their partner to act a certain way.You'd be an idiot to expect someone to just sit there quietly and accept those broken promises. It's easier to remain calm when you realise the promise was unrealistic. That's like expecting someone not to get angry when you break a promise not to punch them in the nose.I don't know about you but I would get angry if someone punched me even if they hadn't promised not to. I'm fine with the idea of not marrying. Some people simply aren't wired for a monogamous relationship...I'm all for a monogamous relationship while not going to marry. I'm not going to promise forever when my feeling in future depends on what happens between now and that future.You're not breaking any promises that way.I'm glad to hear someone else also values their word. My word is as good as a written contract. But...if you DO marry...then you have vows and promises that you've committed to.Is that so? You know, there are legal rights that one cannot promise away even in a signed contract. Freedom to move around and the freedom to talk to whomever we want both most likely are two of those. There's a huge distinction between slavery (which you don't have an choice in) and marriage (which you VOLUNTARILY made promises in).As I tried to convey, slavery is when we think we have the right to demand or force someone from not exercising their lawful freedoms. And that includes the right to meet whomever they want.
Owl Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I still heartily recommend you start your own thread on this subject, so that we're not derailing and threadjacking someone else's thread. Start one over on the infidelity board or here on the OW/OM, and I'll be glad to discuss this with you there.
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