DollWelch Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 I am having a little (or big) problem with my male friend -or acquaintance --eer I don't know what it is, yet. From time to time, I hang out with a group of men. I am always very friendly with all, and I get along well with everyone. Except for one. This person has been mean to me from the very start, and hasn't shown any slowing down thus far. Every time I participate in certain conversations and activities, he shuts me out, ignores me, makes me feel invisible -and above all, on several occasions, he has turned his back on me. I haven't known him for a long time, but the other members are close friends with him. I don't understand why he's treating me this way. I haven't bashed or attacked him in any way. Rather, I have been fun and outgoing. One explanation for his behavior, that I received from a friend, was that he's attracted to me and feels threatened by my approach. Is this true? What is his problem? Why does he act this way? Any feedback would be appreciated.
LiveKhaos Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 Or yes he's very possibly attracted to you, however he feels and is maybe convinced that you wouldn't give him a chance, therefore he gets a little mad at himself/you and the fact that you're being very nice to most of his male friends. This happens a lot..
Author DollWelch Posted October 27, 2008 Author Posted October 27, 2008 Explain? Elaborate? I kind of understand what you guys are saying -but it doesn't make sense. I don't see him giving off any flirty signals of interest my way. In fact, he's been receptive at times of my character, but other than that, he hasn't been flirty with me. How does he know I wouldn't give him a chance? He has never even attempted to approach me to get together, let alone be warm, welcoming and friendly. It doesn't add up. I still think he must be incredibly annoyed, and disgusted -and doesn't intend to associate himself with me. It's hurtful. I don't get it.
Geishawhelk Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 He's insecure, jealous and frankly, without knowing more, could be a mysogynist or chauvinist. he resents you seem popular with the other guys, and has a chip on his shoulder... maybe he has an inferiority complex about you, or is suspicious of your motives.... Who knows what goes on in the minds of men.....? I used to have a female colleague like this. She was, to put it bluntly a nasty viotriolic cow. No reason. I, like you, had dnone nothing said nothing or even hinted at anything hostile, nasty or argumentative towards her. not a goddam thing.... Do you know what I did? I largely ignored her. Actually avoided eye contact, but not in a submissive way. I just never gave her a second glance. I was friendly, outgoing and sociable with everyone else, but in her presence, I studiously avoided even acknowledging she was there. If I was obliged to interact with her, I was always very courteous and polite. I never gave her any reason, nor any justification, infront of others, for the way she acted. In the end, even a couple of her friends started questioning wtf she thought she was doing.....! In the end, she retired from the company, and I - together with other staff - wished her well. She had nowhere to go with it. there was nothing she could say or do that would have been justified. She just looked at me and stormed out of the room. her best friend was convinced she'd lost her marbles. I never ever got to the bottom of it. but I also never ever let it get to me.
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