OurDestiny Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 My boyfriend's parents are very controlling. From the start I knew right away that things were "different" with this one but I knew that I can't control his life just as soon as I meet him and I needed to take things slowly and wait for things to change. He has come to realize just how bad things are with them and they are all in therapy but, things are starting to get out of hand. I no longer see him. They have taken the car away from him and I have come to suspect that his phone has been "confiscated" because I no longer hear his voice on his voice mail. All of these things, "technically" belong to his parents but, my point being that he's not a little boy anymore and they treat him like he is, they even took away books that they bought him when he was a teenager. I mean, years ago gifts that they'd bought him they took away. I'm a liberal person, I'm very faithful to my beliefs that everyone has their own person rights to their freedom so as this is happening I am becoming more and more uncomfortable and stressed about it. But I am powerless as well. We both love each other very much and I have faith in our relationship and he feels the same way, I also feel like for the first time in my life (I have been through several relationships) that if I were to end it I could never go on, I couldn't be with anyone else. Ever. So I am literally not in a good place. I am so powerless. Is there nothing I can do?
Lovegod Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 It's entirely up to him to get the confidence to move out of this unhealthy situation. I had the same issues when I became a legal adult. I had the posessions I purchased with my own money taken away. The only way I could do to escape was to move out. The best thing you can do is give him the encouragement, the strength, and support he will need when he does break ties with his family. I'm so sorry you have to see him go through this 5h1t. It's a very difficult thing to go through.
Geishawhelk Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 Is this the same guy who lies through his teeth? I really think you need to completely walk away form this one. Getting a guy with issues is one thing. Getting a guy carrying all his family's issues PLUS his own, is too much for any sane person to handle. ....but I knew that I can't control his life just as soon as I meet him You can't control ANYBODY'S life, at any time. Only they can do that. you can try to influence, or lead by example, but you cannot presume, or assume to control anyone. Heck, he's just going from one insane situation to another!! Give it up - Really! Walk away from this one!
Author OurDestiny Posted October 26, 2008 Author Posted October 26, 2008 I am in no way trying to control his life. I never have tried to. I know him and his family has extreme emotional issues, I am just trying to figure out how I can deal with it and still be with him. I have always been encouraging to him and it has actually gotten me thus far, he's in therapy and he's open enough to admit it when I catch him in lies now (which isn't as often anymore).
Recommended Posts