mark1210 Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 So a little about me, i've been dating this woman now for 6 months who has a child. Both her and her child have bonded pretty well with me. However, her ex and her have been going fighting it out over court on custody and so forth. I was subpoenaed by her ex to testify (not sure on what). The case has been pushed out numerous times and its starting to really drive a wedge between us. I don't feel that I should be involved in that matter, and I have had to request time off from work numerous times only to have the hearing be postponed. Up until this weekend we have seen each other every weekend, this weekend she was too busy studying. During this free time, I've been doing a lot of pondering.....I know I will always be second in line for her love and attention (naturally, her child will come first). But having to be involved in a custody mess has really got me to thinking. Seems like having the custody thing settled would be the right time for her to have been making herself available for dating. I'd like to get anyone's opinion on this - maybe I'm just being selfish. Just seems to me like it' a lot to tolerate. I feel a bit guilty talking to her about this topic, I know she can't help it. Part of me would like to have a clean break and try again after the custody battle is all hammered out. I just think I'd feel guilty for meeting her son and having a relationship with him.
TigerCub Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 I think your concerns are completely valid. If you're feeling too entangled in this mess, you should talk to her about taking a break until all the stuff is settled. Don't get trapped in a relationship simply because you feel bad, this is a serious issue and you're definitely entitled to doing what's best for you.
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 Did you know about the pending custody case before you started dating her? If so you are partly responsible for the mess you are in. If not you have every reason to be extremely angry. Personally I feel sorry for the kid.
Ariadne Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 My input is that you should not be afraid of all those things. Those events are a part of life sometimes. You'll see that it was not so bad as you thought.
Author mark1210 Posted October 27, 2008 Author Posted October 27, 2008 I did not know about the pending custody case prior to dating - it was made known to me about 2 weeks later. It was supposed to be a fairly easy item, of course it's been rescheduled several times now. I just know it will hurt her and her son - there was no cheating, no lying, or any of that in this relationship. Part of me just says to suck it up....
Jilly Bean Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 Mark, I guess it depends how serious you are about her. This is a LOT of BS for 6-months. If you really love her, and see a future, then yes, suck it up. Otherwise, I would SO resent being dragged into it.
Author mark1210 Posted October 27, 2008 Author Posted October 27, 2008 Whoops meant "daughter" was reading another post and typed what I read...if it matters. Worried about hurting her daughter.
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