IceIceBaby Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 I've had some issues with my boyfriend in regards to our sexual relationship that I've posted about on this message board. There are many nights he stays over and he passes out instantly. He once told me that sex isn't the most important part of a relationship to him. I don't really initiate anymore because I have so many times in the past and he'll fall asleep on me and it gets embarassing. He stayed over for the past three nights. Each night falling asleep apparently not even thinking about fooling around, sex, nothing. My question is for the guys...could you sleep next to your girlfriend three nights in a row and never once think about sex or initiate it?????
jason83 Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 Everyone has different libidos, if you will. Some want a LOT of sex and some very little. I've dated girls on both sides. Personally, I'm usually the one initiating things as I often joke that I will have my future wife sign a pre-nup stating we will have sex at least 3 times a day. When it comes down to it, there is no right or wrong as far as this issue goes. It's what's right for you. Would you be his first? Does he want to wait for marriage? I would try talking to him about it and if he's just not into it, this might be something you have to live with for the rest of your life is he truly is "the one". Would that make you happy? Is it worth losing everything else for this little piece? Surely if you communicate, there can be a common ground found so you can meet one another halfway
btc8 Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 I agree for the most part with Jason. But, IceIceBaby, you mention that he said to you, "Sex isn't the most important part of a relationship." This is his prerogative on sex in a relationship, but it sounds like you hold sex higher in the list than he does. He may be hinting that he wants to connect with you in other ways, and may want to save having sex for when he makes a deeper connection with you. Consider yourself rather lucky because most guys would be more than willing to jump into the sack before thinking about what impact that could have on the future of the relationship. But, on the other hand, the easiest thing to do is to just talk to him about it, and mention that this lack of physical attention is making you unhappy, and you want to connect with him on another level that only sex could accomplish. He also could sense that you are not ready yet; do you want to have sex?
Author IceIceBaby Posted October 26, 2008 Author Posted October 26, 2008 We've already had sex. We've been together for almost three years. So it's not a matter of him wanting to wait until marraige or me not being ready. When we have sex, make out or just fool around it's amazing. So I guess I don't understand how he can let weeks go by and not think about it.
fral945 Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 My question is for the guys...could you sleep next to your girlfriend three nights in a row and never once think about sex or initiate it????? No. It would be impossible.
sumdude Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 No. It would be impossible. ditto for me. I have a very strong drive.. which comes with it's own set of relationship friction sometimes.
Geishawhelk Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 My partner and I have sex infrequently. We love to cuddle and spoon, and just snuggle up together, but actually making love isn't a high priority for either of us. So it's no big deal when it happens. Or doesn't, as the case may be. We feel 'bien dans notres peaux' as the French say, or 'good in our skins'. That is, completely comfortable with one another. The big thing is mis-matched libidos. Reaching a compromise. That's a difficult one....
popey Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 Ice- is he depressed and/or on anti-depressants?
Author IceIceBaby Posted October 27, 2008 Author Posted October 27, 2008 No he is not on anti-depressants. He was a little bit down on himself for the past year because he was laid off from his job and took a job where he was not happy. But he's been at a new job for a few months now and loves it.
EAJuggalo Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 only if it's during those three nights of the month where she won't let me. But I still try and get something. Her libido is as strong as mine but a lot of the time she won't initiate.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 Yes, I am working on my second virginhood, and I have personally laid beside a sexpot for a week and she was mad because I would not touch her. In essence, I am done with fornicating and I let women know that in advance. And he is right, sex IS NOT the most important thing in life or a relationship, what if something happened to either one of your sexual organs? Would you love that person any less? I learned that the hard way from my sexual past. I need to know the woman and I are forever, that we are working towards building lasting bonds, and doing the activities that produce children. Now if your really bothered with the lack of sexual activity, but you really love this guy and relationship, talk to him about it. See if their is something he has to work out or issues or ideas he has on his mind that might plaguing his libido. DNR ~~Oh, and I do have a very strong sex and kinky sex drive.~~
btc8 Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 'bien dans notres peaux' Ce phrase me plait beaucoup
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