Whey2Big4u Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 I didnt know whether to put this up in dating or business but its both. I'm not sure if what I am doing is right anymore. I have sacraficed alot till the point that there is no more to sacrafice. My future is important to me and I work alot. Im only 22 and i have an amazing carreer and it can onlt get better, but i question it. My fiance left me a year ago and shes happy with her new man, I really have no frineds and those "friends" i thought i had tunred out to be as*holes. I'm lonely all the time, and every girl I meet or go on dates with is not for me. Even when i just want "some" I cant get. And now i stopped trying casue Its a waste of energy. I travel alot so a relationship is out of the question, and the girls I do like and who are intersting are from work, and my company has a strict rule about that. I'm at a lose. My only and best freind tells me its all goign to be worth it (she knows some inside things on to how far Im going witht e company, but wont tell me anything to not ruin it) I feel like Ive sacraficed my hole life. Im really just ultra loney and the only thing i got to keep me comapny is a dog (whom I love and has gotten me past some rough times) that I got back when my fiance left me. I know I'm a nice guy, a good looking guy, a gentleman. Im smart and I have a ton to offer. But its true................nice guys finish last. I thought that my carreer would make me happy, but its not yet. My mom tells me that once my life settles, everyhting will follow. Is that true? PLease someone tell me Im making the right choices here
btc8 Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 Here's my take on this, and I have some advice, and of course, you can take it with a grain of salt, because it doesn't specifically answer your questions, but inadvertently, I think it will help you gain a more holistic viewpoint on the situation. In regards to your concerns about your dating record: I have found that when I am actively searching for someone to date and investing a lot of energy into things, I find that my expectations are never met or they fall short. In other words, do not actively try to search for someone, these things, at least for me, always happen when I'm not pursuing them. Also, about your fiance, let's look at this pragmatically: Yes, she is gone and happy now, but if you two had had a marriage, you may be more miserable in that situation than you feel in your current situation. You've already articulated what a catch you are, so just take this time now to focus on yourself and furthering your career. You have plenty of time to find someone. Hopefully some of that will serve you at least satisfactorily.
Federica Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 Quoting whole posts (especially if you're next in line!) is unnecessary, unless replying to individual/specific portions. It makes posts unnecessarily long and scrolling down becomes a pain- !! Thanks guys!
norajane Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 At the age of 22, getting married is so extremely foolish. You have a huge decade of change ahead of you, and the person you want today is not going to be anything like the woman you will want as a partner some years down the road. Focus on your career for now, and stop worrying about your ex and what she's doing. Focus on developing who you are as a person and what kinds of things you want in your life. If career is important, great, join some professional associations and go to conferences...you will meet like-minded people there. Join a sports league - softball, football, basketball, running club, biking club, whatever you happen to be interested in. You will meet like-minded people. Go to your local pub and sit at the bar. You will meet people. Go to your local coffee shop and sit at the counter instead of a table. You will meet people. Give yourself time to grow into who you are, and like-minded people will become your friends. FYI: This is not a winning strategy: "Even when i just want "some" I cant get." You need to GIVE to people in order to develop friendships, relationships, or a ONS. It can't be just about what you can get FROM others.
carhill Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 OP, you make choices in your life and those choices affect the totality of potentials you now and will experience. Think of every choice as a starting point of an infinite set of variables. You've made the choice to put your career and advancement as your #1 priority. Good on ya That path is a finite one, very specific. Being true to it will mean avoiding various exit ramps and crossroads you may happen upon. You've already seen this with your fiance, friends and dating experiences. Your narrow focus sends out signals into the world about you. Some people are affected positively by these signals and some negatively. Your job is to analyze the results and make future decisions which are healthy for you. Do you want to have one best friend, a career you love and a fabulously successful job? Sounds like you do. I think, by the time you're 30, you'll still want that, but other life experiences and challenges will have affected you and will cause your focus to broaden. Take it from someone more than twice your age who loves what he does. There is much more to living than work and a career. This you will discover in your own time and at your own pace and in your own quantity. On that journey I wish you well
Recommended Posts