street38 Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 I just keep going over it in my head. What happened? We were talking marriage. She got on the computer and was looking at rings. We were looking at selling both our houses and buying one together. I worked on her house to get it ready to sell. Spent alot of money on mine to sell it. Times are tuff I ran out of work got depressed. I told her I needed a break. She did not take it to well came over crying. I said nothing. She left. Called me the next day asked if I could watch her youngest daughter while she took the other one to a school fuction. I said yes. We still talked on the phone. She came over the next weekend and wanted to fool around. I was still depressed and didn't want to.I became more secluded. Went camping by myself. Even I thought that was strange. I just wanted to be alone. Our phone calles became farther and farther apart. One day we talked on the phone and she said this time has given her time to think and she said we had nothing good in our relationship except sex. I said that is not true we have had alot of good times together. I asked if she wanted to end it and she said we will talk about it later. I called the next two night and she didn't answer. Found out she was out with the guy she had left to date me two years ago. She finally called me back and said she thinks we should go our seperate ways. It crushed me. I told her she was breaking my heart. She said that I had broken her heart a long time ago we hung up. I emailed her at work the next day and told her she had broken up the wrong way. She was angry and said "don't tell me how to live my life and i won't tell you how to get over your pain". Ouch.She told me not to call our email her anymore. She was in a committed relationship and they ere going to try to work things out. I told her I wanted my stuff back. She said fine she would leave them out side her house and text me when she was not there. She had my couch and I had hers for the purpose of selling the homes hers looked better in my house and mine looked better in her basement. I told her i don't care about the couch and she said fine she didn't either. So i picked up my belongings on sunday. She emailed me on monday say she had changed her mind and wanted her couch back I said no and she said that doesn't supprise me about you. You always think of yourself. I let two or three days go by and emailed her and told her I would get some movers to do the switch. She thanked me. Then emailed me the next day to tell me her daugter was also happy because she could now have a sleep over. I said no problem I know it is over and no reason to keep the couch. No reply. I email her two days later telling her the movers will be at my place ay 2:00 and probably be at her place at 3:00. After the movers left she emailed me and said thank for taking care of that and said if we can keep this on good terms that when she say me at the market she would say hello.? I told her to take care of herself and her girls. no more emails call me on the phone if you have something to say. That has been 3 days now. I guess it is over. I am not sure why. I might be a little slow. Anybody help. I am 39 never married she is 38 was married 17 years.
UnamedSeven Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 I just keep going over it in my head. What happened? We were talking marriage. She got on the computer and was looking at rings. We were looking at selling both our houses and buying one together. I worked on her house to get it ready to sell. Spent alot of money on mine to sell it. Times are tuff I ran out of work got depressed. I told her I needed a break. She did not take it to well came over crying. I said nothing. She left. Called me the next day asked if I could watch her youngest daughter while she took the other one to a school fuction. I said yes. We still talked on the phone. She came over the next weekend and wanted to fool around. I was still depressed and didn't want to.I became more secluded. Went camping by myself. Even I thought that was strange. I just wanted to be alone. Our phone calles became farther and farther apart. One day we talked on the phone and she said this time has given her time to think and she said we had nothing good in our relationship except sex. I said that is not true we have had alot of good times together. I asked if she wanted to end it and she said we will talk about it later. I called the next two night and she didn't answer. Found out she was out with the guy she had left to date me two years ago. She finally called me back and said she thinks we should go our seperate ways. It crushed me. I told her she was breaking my heart. She said that I had broken her heart a long time ago we hung up. I emailed her at work the next day and told her she had broken up the wrong way. She was angry and said "don'tnd i won't tell you how to get over your pain". Ouch.She told me not to call our email her anymore. She was in a committed relationship and they ere going to try to work things out. I told her I wanted my stuff back. Se said fine she would leave them out side her house and text me when she was not there. She had my couch and I had hers for the purpose of selling the homes hers looked better in my house and mine looked better in her basement. I told her i don't care about the couch and she said fine she didn't either. So i picked up my belongings on sunday. She emailed me on monday say she had changed her mind and wanted her couch back I said no and she said that doesn't supprise me about you. You always think of yourself. I let two or three days go by and emailed her and told her I would get some movers to do the switch. She thanked me. Then emailed me the next day to tell me her daugter was also happy because she could now have a sleep over. I said no problem I know it is over and no reason to keep the couch. No reply. I email her two days later telling her the movers will be at my place ay 2:00 and probably be at her place at 3:00. After the movers left she emailed me and said thank for taking care of that and said if can keep this on good terms that when she say me at the market she would say hello.? I told her to take care of herself and her girls. no more emails call me on the phone if you have something to say. That has been 3 days now. I guess it is over. I am not sure why. I might be a little slow. Anybody help. I am 39 never married she is 38 was married 17 years. Its very obvious to you and me that based on her being married 17 years, shes been through a lot of stuff she wished she hadn't. From what it looks like, things are really over. Avoid her at all times. She broke/breaking your heart so bad that she doesn't even deserve to know. I know its really tough, but you really are going to have to just not e-mail her or anything at all. She may try and attempt to call you or something, but, don't get your hopes up. There are, by far, better people in this world for you then her.
Author street38 Posted October 26, 2008 Author Posted October 26, 2008 We went to Mexico in July. I think she really wanted me to ask her to marry me but i didnt. I think that is what she really wanted the whole time. I guess i was scared. I don't know why I was scared. Maybe the fact she has a 10 year old and 7 years old girls. I would have to take care of. Which I do care about. I don't know I am just grasping. Trying to figure it out Anybody got the answer?
Geishawhelk Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 I'm sorry, I'm afraid because you chickened out and behaved peculiarly, I think you hammered the lid on it yourself. You became introverted, distant and unaffectionate. If she's been married before, chances are she saw all the signs of non-commitment and called it a day before you did. And you were so indecisive, she took charge. You don't say how long a relationship you had with her, but the fact that you balked at the idea of "inheriting" her two little girls is also a big give away.... You knew she had children when you met her, and you knew they were part of the package, so I don't think they were the real reason. I just think you were worried about committing, went into a dive about it, she smelt a c-phobe, and said, ok, "don't then, but I'm not hanging around whilst you hop from foot to foot." This is all pure speculation, but I do think you shot yourself in the foot, here.
Author street38 Posted October 26, 2008 Author Posted October 26, 2008 Do you write to her and tell her and tell her that you want the same thing she wants our do you just let her go off with her old boyfriend.
ChickenAce Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 Well two actually. First, it looks like you got a cold knife in the heart. I done that before to a girl, it sucks. I know its hard for anyone to accept, I'm starting to hate that word accept. Just ask her is there any chance off working things out. If you get a 'no' you just got to help yourself coz she won't be interested. But if you get some sort of opening that isn't a direct no, find out what your lacking and improve. Good Luck.
Author street38 Posted October 26, 2008 Author Posted October 26, 2008 I have done the cold knife to some girls also. Maybe this is karma. I am 39 never been married,been with alot of ladies. This one does seem to be different. When the brerak up was fresh she did say she has moved on and i should too. She said the new relationship felt good to her. For the week or two they had been seeing each other. She was pretty angry at me at that point. Sence that point she doesn't seem so angry. Who knows mabe she just wanted the couch back?
SoundTribe Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 man i'm really sorry this happened to you so late in life. the fact of the matter is that she's gone, and you shouldn't try to get her back. Be strong with NC and you will get through this. Good luck.
Author street38 Posted October 26, 2008 Author Posted October 26, 2008 Man that hurts. I guess you are right. She is with someone else now.Don't really get that it is with the guy she left to be with me but whatever. I asked her why she was throwing away 2 years and she got mad and said "thats right 2 years and nothing happened". I am an Idiot.
Geishawhelk Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 Oooh, she kinda summed it up then, didn't she? I think that's what I pointed out to you, huh? "He who deliberates fully before taking each step will spend his entire life on one leg." Or hopping from foot to foot..... I'm sorry it's gone this way for you, but gone, it has. Go complete NC. Keep yourself busy ,and start living for yourself now. And don't hop so much.
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