brandylou Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 I started seeing my boyfriend (yes we have made that official) 1 month ago.. we started seeing quite a bit of each other.. pretty much living together like 3,4 days out of the week.. (yes we are sexually active with each other)...just recently he told me that he is worried that we might be rushing things.. and that his past two relationships started like this and he got dumped by both of the girls.. he said 'this never works out for me'.. anyways he says he wants to take things a little slower and us get to know each other better.. and also that he is really busy with his business that he is starting.. oh and when we had the talk i told him that i understood and i want him to get his business off the ground and to be successful..and he really really appreciated my understanding... meanwhile while he was telling me this, he keeps talking about us being married and having kids one day...he always seems to relate it to us in the future when marriage or kids is brought up.. he ALWAYS is the instigator with these topics, not me.. i just follow along with it b/c i could see a future with him... We are currently seeing each other about twice or so a week.. and i dont hear from him everyday.. i feel like he really cares, but im still kinda paranoid that he may just not be feelin it anymore.. but then why does he talk about the future?! HELP!
btc8 Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 I started seeing my boyfriend (yes we have made that official) 1 month ago.. we started seeing quite a bit of each other.. pretty much living together like 3,4 days out of the week.. (yes we are sexually active with each other)...just recently he told me that he is worried that we might be rushing things.. and that his past two relationships started like this and he got dumped by both of the girls.. he said 'this never works out for me'.. anyways he says he wants to take things a little slower and us get to know each other better.. and also that he is really busy with his business that he is starting.. oh and when we had the talk i told him that i understood and i want him to get his business off the ground and to be successful..and he really really appreciated my understanding... meanwhile while he was telling me this, he keeps talking about us being married and having kids one day...he always seems to relate it to us in the future when marriage or kids is brought up.. he ALWAYS is the instigator with these topics, not me.. i just follow along with it b/c i could see a future with him... We are currently seeing each other about twice or so a week.. and i dont hear from him everyday.. i feel like he really cares, but im still kinda paranoid that he may just not be feelin it anymore.. but then why does he talk about the future?! HELP! This sounds like a carbon-copy of what I am going through (re: my post regarding 'he needs time to think about it.'), and I can tell you that his hesitation may not be a bad thing. The fact that he tells you that his past relationships have all ended in despair because of his prematurity into putting the cart before the horse, so to speak, means that he's consciously invoking his desire for this current relationship to be different than the ones in the past. However, we must also recognize that his ideas about marriage and children are not out of line with his idea of taking things slowly: You can still have a happy relationship together and, much later, be married if you're taking it slow. Perhaps the fact that you two already had sex is why you're meeting his idea of slowness with apprehension?
BikerBeagle Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 I'll answer both of you in this thread. After just 1 and 4 months respectively, and your guys are already backing off? My impression is, sadly, that they just aren't into you. ...and, realize, people (men and women) will say anything if they believe they are sparing your feelings.
Author brandylou Posted October 26, 2008 Author Posted October 26, 2008 I decided about 30 minutes ago that I could not handle this anymore. It is too stressful to me. I tried talking to him, but was not succesful so I broke up with him. I had to leave a voicemail b/c he wouldn't answer the phone. If he decides he is wanting something real, then so be it, if not, then i just spared us all some hard times.
Recommended Posts