I broke up with my cheating, lying, controlling b/f of 10 months ago & still love him

[Bubbles]

Hey everyone,

 

I wonder if anyone has felt this way before; I broke up with my cheating, lying, controlling b/f of 7 years; 10 months ago, and still I can't stop loving him. I knew that I had to break-up with him because staying in the relationship was not mentally healthy for me (or physically some would argue) and yet still......I love him. Why? why? why?

 

I almost hate myself because of this......why is my heart still pounding when I think of him? I have gone on dates and there is one special guy that I would like to continue seeing but then that feeling comes back to haunt me. I almost feel as though I am cheating and I'm doing something wrong.

 

What's wrong with me.....I can't seem to shake this.

 

I need help from my Loveshack friends!

 

Bubbles

[Vivid_29]

You probably still love him because he is a badboy!!!

[Ryan]

What...I'm not distraction enough?

[Bubbles]

Your'e so cute Ryan.......thanks for the giggle! and to Vivid_29 you're probably right, he is a bad boy and I would have loved to "tame the beast" so to speak - do you think that's why I can't let go? I didn't accomplish what I set out to do? I never intended to change him, I just wanted him to love and respect me not to thrash and destroy all that I am.

 

Bubbles

[Fancy]

Bubbles, it's time to stop loving him and start loving you! It sounds like he's belittled you to the point where you have little to no self esteem. You need to take back your life and take back your power as a woman and a human being.

 

If you truly want him out of your life (which I doubt at this point) you have to break all contact. No visits, no emails, no phone calls. Cold turkey is the only way to go.

 

Write down on a piece of paper all the good things about him. Then write down all the bad things. Be sure to include every time he controlled you, every time he put you down, every time he made you cry, every time he made you feel like a dummy. Be totally honest with yourself and compare the two lists. Do the bad things outweigh the good? I bet they do! Post the two lists in a place where you can see it many times a day and read it each time you walk by.

 

If a man truly loves you, he will lift you up, not tear you down. The world does enough of that. Why waste your time on someone who clearly doesn't respect you? You deserve better! Go seek it!