jj33 Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 Elk Grove what a difficult situation. 1. As others said her past didnt matter to you when she married you and you still want her back so... why take stabs at her? 2. Do you want her back where she chooses you because you have "ruined" her other options? Dont think so. 3. Do you really think you will endear her to you by broadcasting these things to the world? Dont think so. This is not a good tactic if you are still hoping she will decide to try again as a family. 4. But more importantly didnt you say in another thread that you work there too??? If you are not able to get another job and tell them on your way out (if you insist on this course of action) then you should not tell them. Do you really want your dirty laundry and your wifes past broadcast in your workplace where you have to continue to work? Its bad enough now with the rumor mill going but it will be so so much work if you feed that mill with the stuff that people will relish hearing repeating exaggerating... you get the idea. And through no fault of your own it will not reflect well on you at work to have been associated with it all. Back to 1 if it was all so awful then why did you marry her? Bottom line its not in your interest any way you look at it. Dont do it. It must be awful to go to work with both of them there if I got this right and you work there too. But telling everyone will be so so much worse.
Dexter Morgan Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 My wife has been having an affair w/ a coworker & has just talked him into leaving his family. She moved out four months ago & has been cheating on him w/ two other men as well. She has not told him about her past of being a prostitute for seven years or her cheating in all three of her marriages or the two men she has been seeing. she was a prostitute? Well can I ask why in the hell you married her in the first place?? Talk about jumping into the lion's den.
Author elkgrove Posted October 29, 2008 Author Posted October 29, 2008 Elk Grove what a difficult situation. 1. As others said her past didnt matter to you when she married you and you still want her back so... why take stabs at her? 2. Do you want her back where she chooses you because you have "ruined" her other options? Dont think so. 3. Do you really think you will endear her to you by broadcasting these things to the world? Dont think so. This is not a good tactic if you are still hoping she will decide to try again as a family. 4. But more importantly didnt you say in another thread that you work there too??? If you are not able to get another job and tell them on your way out (if you insist on this course of action) then you should not tell them. Do you really want your dirty laundry and your wifes past broadcast in your workplace where you have to continue to work? Its bad enough now with the rumor mill going but it will be so so much work if you feed that mill with the stuff that people will relish hearing repeating exaggerating... you get the idea. And through no fault of your own it will not reflect well on you at work to have been associated with it all. Back to 1 if it was all so awful then why did you marry her? Bottom line its not in your interest any way you look at it. Dont do it. It must be awful to go to work with both of them there if I got this right and you work there too. But telling everyone will be so so much worse. [FONT="]ThnX for the insight. I am now reconsidering doing anything. As you & others have pointed out it is probably not the best course of action. My heart tells me to just do it but my head says not to. We work for the same company. Not @ the same location but as you know 25 ppl or 25,000 ppl rumors run rampant... I have not believed it would get this far but she is very manipulative & has been able to "win" thus far. SHe is obsessed w/ "winning" her man as if it is some kind of challenge to get him to leave his wife for her. Perhaps after she succeeds things will change????????? There is little possibility of them “living happily ever after” given their histories, the odds etc. but I can't bother myself w/ that once she moves in w/ him............ It will finally be over..... I have no self-esteem left nor desire to go on w/ my life but I have my daughters to concern myself w/ in the mean time... Thanks all............ [/FONT]
Owl Posted October 29, 2008 Posted October 29, 2008 Why is she staying with you if she's planning on leaving you for him anyway??? If she wants out...then why should she USE you??? Show her the door, and wish her well. If she had plans to reconcile or whatever...I could see her staying with you. But living with you while she's cheating with several other guys and planning on moving out with one??? Nope...let her suffer her consequences NOW, rather than later.
Author elkgrove Posted October 29, 2008 Author Posted October 29, 2008 Why is she staying with you if she's planning on leaving you for him anyway??? If she wants out...then why should she USE you??? Show her the door, and wish her well. If she had plans to reconcile or whatever...I could see her staying with you. But living with you while she's cheating with several other guys and planning on moving out with one??? Nope...let her suffer her consequences NOW, rather than later. While she is here she is not seeing anyone else... I guess next week some time she will move into an apartment w/ him & that will be the end of this. I will probably not say anything to him & just let him find out the hard way.
pelicanpreacher Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 Your wife was broken and used goods before she met you, married you, and now manipulates you on her way out the door. She doesn't now, never has, nor ever will respect you for she sees you as more broken then she is for marrying a woman like her in the 1st place. She has a craving for affairs because she wants to be held in the arms of a man with strength, character, and most importantly, b@lls: YOU ARE NOT HIM...she wants a man who can satisfy her unbidden lusts for passion and excitement: YOU CANNOT BE HIM...she wants a man who will stand his ground and lower the boom when his boundaries are crossed: YOU CAN NEVER BE HIM. You try to hide behind concerns for finances, your girls, and your stubborness in an attempt to sell your motivations for staying in this marriage but, deep down, the real reason is that you are a wimp and a doormat and this is what your wife sees and loaths in you. She's lived the fast life on the hard streets and has always seen you for what you are which is a free ride with health care benefits who's too weak and whiny to oppose her in anything she does so, even now, puts very little stock or concern in your ultimatums. The saddest aspect of this pathetic melodrama comes from the fact that your daughters are watching the two of you and have been absorbing the tactics your wife has employed against you while observing your reactions throughout your relationship and are drawing their own conclusions on who they'll emulate in the future. Guess what, the apples won't fall too far from the tree when they grow up for they are destined to incorporate her character flaws into their outlook on relationships to seek out a doormat, just like dear old dad, to manipulate and abuse because you've shown them through your reticence to act with any force of will on your own behalf that this is how life and love is suppose to be as well as what happens if they end up being the loser. Good job!
Author elkgrove Posted October 30, 2008 Author Posted October 30, 2008 pelicanpreacher Well you have a good imgination I will give you that. I am not weak & when I meet the fool he ran off. She never was hard or on the street. I never attempted to cloud my intent & if I do tell him there will be no pretense. IMO my life & the life of my children will be better w/ her than w/out her. That is if she will get help..
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