I'm the girl guys just want to ****

[Bells]

Candy, I won't feel sorry for you for one main reason... You got breast implants. And the only reason women do that is to enhance their beauty so that others will notice them... Well now you got your wish and your upset? This is not to say you should get groped, but then again there are a lot of guys who get groped by strange women too. Some women and men like it and some don't. Some like to have it done a certain time, place, way and some don't like to have it done at all. It is no one's fault. Like someone said, some people are just touchy feely and need to be let known that it is NOT okay. And that if it persists, you will take legal actions against them.

 

 

DNR

 

Good point.....I know this one girl....she complains that alot of guys "hover" around her in numbers (from 3 to 4 guys) all talking to her at once...she's basically gotten an oversized set of ta-tas implanted....

 

Granted she is a VERY attractive woman.....remember Jane Mansfield? Platinum blonde, VERY curvaceous (esp in the hips) and guys just...not joking, seriously gravitate towards her in social venues, to the point where she gets overwhelmed at times.

 

And I guess getting big Bazooms that are big enough to raise the Titanic will do that.

 

I stil don't understand how he "used you" for sex....when you've been dating exclusively for 2 years...not sure how that works...I figured it's natural to be both sexually active in a regular relationship.

[carhill]

I will just keep telling myself that not all men are like this

 

That and accepting the effects that the ending with your ex are real and did affect you and continue to shape in some small way who you are is IMO healthy and key to sending out signals that tell compatible men you are available. Your thread here has been essentially about men thinking that you're available for sex. The work is finding a way to show you're available for all those other qualities you value in yourself. Hint: when you meet a guy who doesn't talk to your breasts, you'll be on the right path

[Bells]

I often wonder about the "Platitude" of "I did the implants for myself".

 

I hear it said so many times, okay, let's split this in half....50/50.

 

50% you did for yourself....and 50% for the men who check them out.

 

YOu've done half of it for yourself, and the other half to get attention from men.

[CandyGirlXO]

Good point.....I know this one girl....she complains that alot of guys "hover" around her in numbers (from 3 to 4 guys) all talking to her at once...she's basically gotten an oversized set of ta-tas implanted....

 

Granted she is a VERY attractive woman.....remember Jane Mansfield? Platinum blonde, VERY curvaceous (esp in the hips) and guys just...not joking, seriously gravitate towards her in social venues, to the point where she gets overwhelmed at times.

 

And I guess getting big Bazooms that are big enough to raise the Titanic will do that.

 

I stil don't understand how he "used you" for sex....when you've been dating exclusively for 2 years...not sure how that works...I figured it's natural to be both sexually active in a regular relationship.

 

First off my implants are not HUGE, they are C cup. Second off yes in a relationship its normal to have regular sex, that is not what I am saying. He F***** me then left me for no reason after 2 years without a warning. He USED me, if thats not what you call it then what is it. He certainly didn't love me and he knew he was leaving me, so he wanted to get in his one last screw. That isn't using me????????????? Are you serious?

 

Also in my other LTR, the guy told me, "I don't love you, but I don't want to let another guy get their hands on you." How is that also not using. I am all for having sex with my BF's but I don't want them to only want me for sex.

[CandyGirlXO]

That and accepting the effects that the ending with your ex are real and did affect you and continue to shape in some small way who you are is IMO healthy and key to sending out signals that tell compatible men you are available. Your thread here has been essentially about men thinking that you're available for sex. The work is finding a way to show you're available for all those other qualities you value in yourself. Hint: when you meet a guy who doesn't talk to your breasts, you'll be on the right path

 

 

Thank you, yes the ending with my EX like that has extremely effected me. It still hurts even after 5 years.

 

Thanks for the advice

[CandyGirlXO]

I often wonder about the "Platitude" of "I did the implants for myself".

 

I hear it said so many times, okay, let's split this in half....50/50.

 

50% you did for yourself....and 50% for the men who check them out.

 

YOu've done half of it for yourself, and the other half to get attention from men.

 

I guess I see your point. They were so that I was more confident when I am basically naked because my real breasts were lacking volume and fullness.

 

So yes they were half for me and half to get the attention. I just didn't realize how MUCH attention I would be getting. And like I said before I got attention before the implants so thats not really the issue here.

[Bells]

I guess I see your point. They were so that I was more confident when I am basically naked because my real breasts were lacking volume and fullness.

 

So yes they were half for me and half to get the attention. I just didn't realize how MUCH attention I would be getting. And like I said before I got attention before the implants so thats not really the issue here.

 

There's this one woman that got...I would guess..."Double D's" and what's a shame is, she hardly wears anything to reveal her cleavage....when she really should be doing that.....though she does wear tight fitting "Bebe" tank tops that aren't lowcut or just tight T-shirts in general....were you just see the "Mounds" through the clothes.

 

But isn't one for showing the "Skin" were the boobs are.....how unfortunate. lol

[rod_in_gtown]

It's not your fault that there are guys out there who think it's appropriate to grope you and touch unprovoked.

I do have to say that the men that don't treat you like you deserve to be treated probably does have to do with your choice in men. What are you going for? the alpha types who walk up to you at a bar making witty funny comments to get your attention?

 

Sorry to break this to you but nice guys who are worth your while will probably not approach you at bars or clubs, even if they do go to those places, they won't approach you if you're beautiful because the mindset is that "she can have anyone she wants, she would probably go for the trendy alpha dude who'll know what to say to get her with his game"

 

Is that acurate at all?

 

What's your type? describe them in behavior and phisically. Are they all generally all-american white boys or do you date people who come from other countries?

[rod_in_gtown]

I hold out on sex because I want their to be a relationship there before sex. I want to make sure they like/know me before we take the relationship to the next level. I don't know I thought that if I made a guy wait a while he would have to respect me and not look at me like an easy lay.

 

Is this not true?

 

This is not true, Like some of the other people said, if a dog knows he is getting the bone he will play the waiting game.

 

I can tell that you want to weed out the players by making them wait if all they want is instant gratification, but some players will still play the long con game if they know the getting's good.

 

It all comes back to the types you're hanging out with, what are the conversations like normally? is it lots of vague sarcasms and quasi-playful one liners or are they smart opinionated guys, who delve deep into a topic and contemplate both ends of the argument without taking an inmovable stance? If a guy opens up mentally, it's more likely they're being real and not just dogs playing the waiting game. If you feel you've never had this kind of communications with guys then you may be looking in the wrong places. Where are you meeting these men? how are you approaching them? or they only approach you?

[SincereOnlineGuy]

 

So yes they were half for me and half to get the attention. I just didn't realize how MUCH attention I would be getting. And like I said before I got attention before the implants so thats not really the issue here.

 

 

... (sigh) and these were 'only' C-Cups.

 

 

But you're just not getting that your actions are indicative of greater hurdles to overcome. Youuuuuuuuuur personality feeds itself OFF of that attention, and it just isn't healthy.

 

It really IS OK that this is the result of the past, but in ways just like some overweight people need to alter the "reward" element of eating/food, you need to alter the "reward" element of getting sexual attention from men.

 

If we sent prince charming to you on a white horse and assured you both of life "happily ever after", there would still be elements at work within you which thrived only when OTHER men were 'checking you out' and crudely singing your physical praises.

 

Not only that, but it is simply wrong to try to pick-apart every guy you attract who gets near, and wonder why the world has sentenced you to a "woe is me" love life, when you won't take into account the common thread in ALL of those guys.

 

(... which is, they each FLOCKED TO YOU)

 

You surely seem "a babe" in a lot of ways to men who hover around your periphery and yet are NOT the ones who put the moves on you. But your social reactions are heightened BY those bold and direct moves that are inspired as much by your fake breasts as by anything else. Those simply aren't the guys you want to schedule for the long term!!

 

I tell ya, the secret lies in your past, and seeing a therapist for sincere understanding and learning about yourself and your past does NOT come with the usual stigma that some of society reserves for, say, the mentally ill who also have therapists.

 

I really wish you good luck.

[LoveDeluxe78]

This is not true, Like some of the other people said, if a dog knows he is getting the bone he will play the waiting game.

 

I can tell that you want to weed out the players by making them wait if all they want is instant gratification, but some players will still play the long con game if they know the getting's good.

 

I completely agree with this! While I do think it's wise to wait, it's not the hard and fast rule, and I think it's more about how you feel the other person sees you, feels about you, then the waiting time itself! I hooked up with a guy after 6 weeks of dating, that's quite a bit of time (!), but I should have known he was always a bit emotionally distant - I mean, we had so much fun together, but it was lacking that mental and emotional open-ness that you mentioned, and after we hooked up, he just stopped contacting me! Then I found out he was a huge player, but that's a whole other story! So players have been known to wait it out! lol But that doesn't mean they want anymore than that I guess!

 

So I too thought that if you waited long enough that it would ensure that things would go more smoothly, but it depends more on the relationship you have with the person than the waiting time itself. But it's alright, I take responsibility for it, part of me couldn't control myself and by that time, I had already realized it wasn't going anywhere so I didn't hook up with him with the hopes that it would manifest into anything - I mean, I sorta did, but I already knew it wasn't going to!

[Lucky_One]

I read through the thread, but most of my thoughts have been thrown out and discussed already.

 

But I will say this - I don't know if your pic on here is you or someone else, but if it is you, then you need to remove about 75% of your eye make-up. It looks sort of sleazy, and so that could lead to how people approach you, both socially and at work. It reminds me of some of the teenagers who hang out at the mall.

 

And if it is not you, is this the type of look that you admire and emulate?

[Vertex]

I'm pretty sure that's Mary Kate Olsen, lol

 

Either that or I have horrible observational skills.

[Isolde]

Implants would explain a guy groping her unwelcomely or using her for a ONS but it wouldn't explain the fact that guys didn't treat her like she should be treated in a rel.

 

Plus, its not busty girls fault if guys grope them inappropriately, dont forget many girls are naturally busty and have the same problem. I also know lots of flat chested girls who get overwhelmed with attention at bars and clubs.

[Lucky_One]

I'm pretty sure that's Mary Kate Olsen, lol

 

Either that or I have horrible observational skills.

 

Could be - I don't know anything about celebrities. TV is horrible these days, and folks "over there" don't seem to have any common sense or dignity.

 

But isn't she still a teenager - or at least, barely an adult? Wouldn't OP rather self-identify with a 'real' woman who doesn't tart up and get into tabloids?

[SincereOnlineGuy]

 

AND- to people that talk Shyte about breast implants... pulleeeeze- I know plenty of cool , stable women that have done such a thing for various reasons other than wanting to be an aspiring pole dancer wanting attention. Women with lots of kids that have lost all elastic presence in the breast- younger girls that have grown up being teased for being flat chested... or just regular girls that felt they wanted to have a more even look. It might be a vain thing to some people- but certainly NEVER to all... it's not a blanket statement that covers all reasons for getting the procedure.

 

This isn't about the implants - it is about the decision to have them put in!!

 

We can get a read on someone immediately and conclusively when merely hearing the first bit of consideration about such a procedure.

 

Now if you're Jenny Jones - fine, you get a free pass.

 

If you're a stripper or a working girl - the choice to get new implants isn't the core issue, and it will usually improve business, so you get a free pass too.

 

If you've has a mastectomy then fine, you too are off the hook!

 

If you're Pamela Anderson, you're just a fool inside (see Tommy Lee for confirmation)

 

People who make such decisions are giving a clear signal that we just don't want their internal decision-making abilities or their priorities anywhere near our long-term romantic lives. Do you want to date Mike Tyson or anybody with the same tattoo across his face? It's a very similar thing!!

 

Like the implants, the tattoo itself obviously has no effect... it was the choice he made to put it there which tells all about his past and about his chaotic personality.

 

Why should we take our chances on someone with implants when we don't have to??

 

If a woman claims to want to date the good guys, then whyyyyyyyyyy pray tell does she make the decision to limit her options that way??

 

Why should we feel any differently about a woman opting for breast implants than we do about a guy wanting penile implants???

 

(why raise your hand to the world and show that you're oozing with insecurity?) {a better move would be to work on the inside, and not the outside}

 

 

We enrich our minds by reading (maybe to impress others or just to feel better, depends right?... it's very important that people think I am smart. To me- it's something important. SO I keep going back to school. We can treat out bodies in the same way- enhancing what we feel is missing and what makes up feels better.

 

So now you are comparing what amounts to mere exercise of perhaps the most intricate machinery on this planet with putting foreign bags of saline inside your body???

 

This is absolutely clueless!!! Go to a senior citizens home and survey who has a better life - the residents there who exercise their minds or those with plastic bags in their chests.

 

If you want to exercise the muscles beneath your breasts then go right ahead. Do it from dawn until dusk if you want to. That sort of effort doesn't reflect poorly on you in any way.

 

 

People that get breast implants aren't typical across the board.

 

 

No, they aren't. I know a young cancer survivor who had a double mastectomy and who has every right to remain the very same image of a human being that she always seemed to be. But her decision wasn't one oozing with vanity and idiocy.

 

 

I am almost 5'8"... I wear my tallest boots/shoes when I go out...

 

How can you defend such a mindless life choice in one (or several) paragraph(s) and then cite an example of your having taken one of your own natural blessings and flattering it boldly (instead of, say, opting for flat shoes, horizontal stripes, and the right colors to make you look 5'6" instead of 6'0") when the whole issue about breast implants is the RUSE of a confident front?

 

The ruse is easy to see through and, like Tyson, you'd just become a walking beacon that tells the world that most of them don't want to consider you as a long-term mate.

[rod_in_gtown]

I'm pretty sure that's Mary Kate Olsen, lol

 

Either that or I have horrible observational skills.

 

Yeah, I think it's either Mary Kate or Ashley... I could never tell them apart though.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

But her decision wasn't one oozing with vanity and idiocy.

 

 

Calling the OP vain and idiotic certainly is not going to help her. What exactly is your point here, other than making sure she knows you have a very low opinion of people with implants?

 

Like D-Lish said, quite eloquently, is that there are a myriad of reasons that women get implants. I have two very good friends with implants. Let me tell you this. They are two of the most confident people I have ever know. I have know both of them for 17 years, so I think I have a pretty good read on their personalities. Oh and yeah, both are married so I guess some lucky guys were interested in more than their chests.

 

OP, you have the implants and they aren't going anywhere. Obviously you know not to where extremely "sexy" clothes because that will definitely bring unwanted attention. The kind of guy who really likes you will show it in ways that have nothing to do with romance. When he talks to you, does he ask you a lot of questions? Is he really interested in you and your life? Can you talk to him easily about many different subjects? What is your instinct? Read what Rod said again. he also said some good things about the right guys.

[CandyGirlXO]

I read through the thread, but most of my thoughts have been thrown out and discussed already.

 

But I will say this - I don't know if your pic on here is you or someone else, but if it is you, then you need to remove about 75% of your eye make-up. It looks sort of sleazy, and so that could lead to how people approach you, both socially and at work. It reminds me of some of the teenagers who hang out at the mall.

 

And if it is not you, is this the type of look that you admire and emulate?

 

It is Mary Kate Olsen, and I do not wear as much make-up as her, although I do like the black lining. That is how I wear my make-up. She is in her early 20's and I am 26 so its not that far off. I just think it was a cute picture thats all. I am sure I will change it eventually.

[CandyGirlXO]

It's not your fault that there are guys out there who think it's appropriate to grope you and touch unprovoked.

I do have to say that the men that don't treat you like you deserve to be treated probably does have to do with your choice in men. What are you going for? the alpha types who walk up to you at a bar making witty funny comments to get your attention?

 

Sorry to break this to you but nice guys who are worth your while will probably not approach you at bars or clubs, even if they do go to those places, they won't approach you if you're beautiful because the mindset is that "she can have anyone she wants, she would probably go for the trendy alpha dude who'll know what to say to get her with his game"

 

Is that acurate at all?

 

What's your type? describe them in behavior and phisically. Are they all generally all-american white boys or do you date people who come from other countries?

 

Yeah I know nice guys must think that, but I don't think that myself. I have never gone up to a guy I was interested in, I just always wait until they pursue me. So that is the problem, I am shy.

 

As far as physical I really don't have a certain type. I have dated all races from hispanic, black, white, and asian. As far as behavior I just want a nice guy who is funny, kind, understanding, accomplished, and just sincere.

[CandyGirlXO]

This is not true, Like some of the other people said, if a dog knows he is getting the bone he will play the waiting game.

 

I can tell that you want to weed out the players by making them wait if all they want is instant gratification, but some players will still play the long con game if they know the getting's good.

 

It all comes back to the types you're hanging out with, what are the conversations like normally? is it lots of vague sarcasms and quasi-playful one liners or are they smart opinionated guys, who delve deep into a topic and contemplate both ends of the argument without taking an inmovable stance? If a guy opens up mentally, it's more likely they're being real and not just dogs playing the waiting game. If you feel you've never had this kind of communications with guys then you may be looking in the wrong places. Where are you meeting these men? how are you approaching them? or they only approach you?

 

Yeah I see your point that waiting for sex doesn't mean that they will want a meaningful relationship, I guess thats just what I thought. So maybe instead of making them wait, I should just go with my gut feeling.

 

Most of my exes I met either through friends or in College/HS. They first start off as my friend, but it doesn't take long until there is a relationship. That is the problem, I guess it would be wise to be friends with them a lot longer before jumping into a relationship right away.

[CandyGirlXO]

Calling the OP vain and idiotic certainly is not going to help her. What exactly is your point here, other than making sure she knows you have a very low opinion of people with implants?

 

Like D-Lish said, quite eloquently, is that there are a myriad of reasons that women get implants. I have two very good friends with implants. Let me tell you this. They are two of the most confident people I have ever know. I have know both of them for 17 years, so I think I have a pretty good read on their personalities. Oh and yeah, both are married so I guess some lucky guys were interested in more than their chests.

 

OP, you have the implants and they aren't going anywhere. Obviously you know not to where extremely "sexy" clothes because that will definitely bring unwanted attention. The kind of guy who really likes you will show it in ways that have nothing to do with romance. When he talks to you, does he ask you a lot of questions? Is he really interested in you and your life? Can you talk to him easily about many different subjects? What is your instinct? Read what Rod said again. he also said some good things about the right guys.

 

LOL yes you are absolutely right, I am so glad he finds my breasts so disgusting! Believe me my natural ones were so much worse! If you saw them you would have told me to go get them fixed.

 

No but seriously I see his point, but he is not being very nice about it. I can't reverse the procedure.

[Constant]

I wish more women wanted one thing from me. I'd be flattered if women just used me for sex, at least I get my urges satisfied.

[CandyGirlXO]

I wish more women wanted one thing from me. I'd be flattered if women just used me for sex, at least I get my urges satisfied.

 

LOL! Yeah I have urges too. It has been way too long since I have had sex. But I want love and sex.

[Constant]

You see I wanted that in the confindes of a model relationship. Aint ever gonna happen though. So now I'm just gonna settle for sex minus the hassle of relationships and love. Though there's no such thing as love.