demilde Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 Been seeing a girl whom I had worked with on and off for past year. Never really got to the real g/f b/f stage as she wanted a kid in the future and I didn't. Came to a head earlier in the year and we decided to knock it on the head. However after a few months we reconnected and saw each other on and off for a while. During one of the off times another ex contacted my to see if I was free and fancied coming along on a trip with her and family. I didn't think there was any reconnection going to happen and we did get on ok so I agreed. Shortly after, but before the trip, the other girls asks if fancied hooking up for a few weeks. I declined the first night and thought it only right that I tell her about the trip. Understandably she was a bit miffed, even though there wasn't going to be anything in it. However, we did hook up for a few days. Later, she accused me of thinking of this other woman, while we were together; which just wasnt the case. But rather than alay her fears I answered as if I was being attacked. Anyway the trip was good, but as suspected nothing happened other than realising that this other girl wasnt for me. When I got back, I started to feel real bad about how we had left things and that maybe there was a future with the girl I had been seeing. I mulled over things for a while and decided to call her to try to apologise for making her feel 2nd place. I dont think of her that way at all, but cleary that is how she inferred what I said. We talked for a good 3 hours, but she is still adamant that is the way I feel. I realise that I really do like her and that we could have a future together, if I was given another chance, but I am struggling to find away to get to see her let alone talk to her about it. Emails always sound so crap and a telephone doesnt allow eye contact either. Any suggestions?
westrock Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 she wanted a kid in the future and I didn't Generally this is a dealbreaker that cannot be resolved. We talked for a good 3 hours, but she is still adamant that is the way I feel. I realise that I really do like her and that we could have a future together How is it that you feel you could have a future together when you two are on opposite ends of the kid issue? I am struggling to find away to get to see her let alone talk to her about it. Emails always sound so crap and a telephone doesnt allow eye contact either. Just tell her that you feel more comfortable talking in person.
Author demilde Posted October 25, 2008 Author Posted October 25, 2008 Generally this is a dealbreaker that cannot be resolved. How is it that you feel you could have a future together when you two are on opposite ends of the kid issue? It was how I felt, but the more I think of it the less it bothers me; much rather have her in my life than not have another child. I am just struggling to convince her that she has never been 2nd place in my eyes. This agreement to go away with someone else was when we wern't seeing each other. Its a bit of a mess, but at least it has made me realise what I want, rather than bungle along with eachother. I just need to be able to convince thats all - is that the easy part? I doubt it!!!
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