Boyfriend's behaviour prior to sex

[juliecusxr]

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and our life together has been pretty much good.

 

It's our sex life that's become an issue, however. For the past six weeks my boyfriend's refused to have sex with me until he's seen enough Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, George Clooney and looked on the web for 'hot nude guys' or 'hot guys'

Then he tries dressing up as a man in uniform for me, insisting that it would be a turn-on for me and that I would love it. He said most women do anyway.

I've asked him why he insists on doing this and he said 'Relax, babe, it's fun, stop stressing out!'

I feel worried he might be gay or bisexual because of his repeated looking at 'hot nude guys' on the Internet (I found it in the history on Firefox!) but he insists he isn't and that it's all a bit of fun.

However, I just want loving, great sex. In the past our sex life was great but since the past six weeks has gone by it feels weird doing it the way I mentioned above but I've gone along with it thinking it'll cause arguments.

I've tried everything to turn him on, including sexy lingerie and dressing up, but he just wants plain-vanilla sex. Odd, considering that he dresses up for me claiming it turns him on.

I want to resolve this, but I don't know what to do. I tried talking to him, but it seems he wants one thing and I want another.

 

I asked him where he got these ideas from, but he wouldn't say. I don't want our sex life to become routine and sluggish, but nor do I want an over-the-top extreme sex life.

I've tried discussion, but it just didn't work... I find that odd, as he's normally a decent man who I can have proper conversations with.

It would be a shame if we split up as the rest of our life is so good - he's a lovely bloke, and we're a well-liked couple amongst our family and friends.

Julie

[Geishawhelk]

Tell him plain and simple that sex is only great for both, if you both do things you're happy with.

And you're not happy with this.

He started all this without discussing it with you, and has made assumptions about your liking it, when in actual fact, it's just for his benefit, not yours....

So either he starts opening up a bit, or he stops what he's doing. Because you're not keen, and he's not sexy.

 

So, how about it, huh?

 

Sometimes, you have to shoot from the hip.

[betterthandead]

He could be pretending to be gay so you can dump him. I would call this the "indirect" method of breaking up.

[Angel1111]

Whatever his reasons are for doing this, he obviously doesn't care about your feelings on the subject. So, I'd say that it may be what someone else suggested - that it's his passive way of getting you to break up with him, or he's just an insensitive jerk. You need to let him know that if he refuses to stop doing it or discuss it with you, then you'll take that as a hint that he wants to end the relationship. His choice.

[Krytie TV]

Troll alert

[Angel1111]

Troll alert

 

Why do you think that?

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I feel worried he might be gay or bisexual because of his repeated looking at 'hot nude guys' on the Internet (I found it in the history on Firefox!) but he insists he isn't and that it's all a bit of fun.

 

 

Julie

 

 

(shudder...) YOU need to understand that MOST purely heterosexual males are just about REPULSED by any sight of "hot nude guys" on the internet!!!!

 

This guy is, at the very least, BI-CURIOUS... and he's probably a whole lot more than that!!!

 

I know you don't want to get out now, but it would save you a whole lot of grief down the road, particularly when you can't find any of your friends who can relate to your having been dating a guy with eyes for MEN!

 

 

PS - this is not the same as when random women peruse the internet and happen across women in porn. Those women browsers might compare themselves for a bit, and might feel inferior or self-conscious... but most heterosexual men who land by accident on a boy-boy sex site are REPULSED and want to get out of there FAST!!

[Federica]

Well, as Julie hasn't been back in a few days, and the post - to say the least - is somewhat peculiar - I'll shut the thread for now. If she comes back and wants it revived, we can work on that....