lostandlonely2 Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 Hi I've been wondering the protocol on this since I am new to dating, and if you mention that would you like to have coffee with someone but they say they can't because 'blah blah blah' but don't offer an alternative day or time, is that a brush off or are they just being too simple and stupid to relaise they should say 'sorry, I can't then, but I'd love to next week'? Thanks for your help
Tony T Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 Hi I've been wondering the protocol on this since I am new to dating, and if you mention that would you like to have coffee with someone but they say they can't because 'blah blah blah' but don't offer an alternative day or time, is that a brush off or are they just being too simple and stupid to relaise they should say 'sorry, I can't then, but I'd love to next week'? It could be either but in any case I would leave the next move up to them. There are way too many people out there who would be passionate about getting together with you. If you really want to find out where they're coming from, you could offer an alternative time yourself...or just ask them if there's another good day and time to get together but that's rather pressing it. However, there are some people who prefer to be pressed. I've heard of many happily married couples where one of the partners had to ask for a first date with the other repeatedly and met with great resistance before the reluctant one gave in.
BikerBeagle Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 Ask her again in a week or two ...if you get the same kind of answer, then she's brushing you off.
Author lostandlonely2 Posted October 27, 2008 Author Posted October 27, 2008 It could be either but in any case I would leave the next move up to them. There are way too many people out there who would be passionate about getting together with you. If you really want to find out where they're coming from, you could offer an alternative time yourself...or just ask them if there's another good day and time to get together but that's rather pressing it. However, there are some people who prefer to be pressed. I've heard of many happily married couples where one of the partners had to ask for a first date with the other repeatedly and met with great resistance before the reluctant one gave in. Thanks T Love your pic & signature!
betterthandead Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 It's in the maybe category. Coffee dates are incredibly boring unless one of you is an extrovert. I would defintely ask her out again but not a coffee date.
btc8 Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 It's in the maybe category. Coffee dates are incredibly boring unless one of you is an extrovert. I would defintely ask her out again but not a coffee date. Not for everyone. I personally find that conversation and coffee are the best way to get to know someone, if you take advantage of it properly (i.e.: not allowing for awkward time pauses, being sincere in your questions and responses, etc.). But to the poster, if they give you some B.S. like they're busy, or 'blah, blah, blah,' but offer no alternative, then I wouldn't push it, personally.
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