alwayssme Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 a quote says "broken hearts are like broken glasses. it's better to leave it alone then to hurt yourself by trying to fix it." the more i go out there and try to "feel better", i still wake up feeling like i wish it would be night forever. and it doesn't help that all my friends are with someone, so great how comforting to hang out with couples. could i possibly feel any more lonely? i guess yes, things could always get worse and lately everything is just going downhill. i don't even want to raise my head anymore because i hope for the best, but than something else happens that's more discouraging! it's a dark tunnel that doesn't seem to have an ending...and when i think this is getting too much, something good should happen to save me from this hell, i only end up getting more hurt and dissapointed. i give up, i'm going to accept the fact that i am no longer the happy girl that always pulled everything together, i'm depressed and just numb! i wonder how much is too much...and yeah encouraging words only frustrate me "time will heal it and you need to go out and be with friends" please! (no offense) but all of that is BS..after 2 months time hasn't healed nothing and hanging out with my friends and their boyfriends/girlfriends definetely is not very encouraging as it shows how lonely i really am. how do you get out of this thing? how much is enough!!
lofi_tokyo Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 You'll get better. Time will heal you. If you want time to work faster you need to do a few things though, and the first, biggest thing, is not to let yourself be defeated. Start seeing the beauty in ordinary things. Anything can be beautiful. I really believe that. You just need to start appreciating the little things in life that are happy, and suddenly you'll find yourself feeling happy. You need to think happy! Let me break down what you said, but instead I'll try to put an optimistic, or semi-optimistic spin on it, okay? You don't need to lie, but you need to actively decide you are tired of being sad. Some people, a lot of people, get used to being sad, even if its not fun for them, sadness becomes an addiction, they won't let themselves be happy. Don't let yourself be one of those people. *** The more i go out there and try to "feel better", i still wake up feeling like i wish it would be night forever. Find something each morning you like. Hearing a bird outside sing, a great cup of coffee, the crisp morning air - there has to be something. Hold onto that. and it doesn't help that all my friends are with someone, so great how comforting to hang out with couples. They should be inspirational, because they are in happy relationships. You're going to be in one of those someday. Good guys do exist. could i possibly feel any more lonely? i guess yes, things could always get worse and lately everything is just going downhill. Stop thinking of things going downhill. That mentality wont help you. Its a dark tunnel that doesn't seem to have an ending...and when i think this is getting too much, something good should happen to save me from this hell, i only end up getting more hurt and dissapointed. Start seeing the light. There is one. You're alive. You are living in a good country where you have a warm home, food, family, and hell, even internet. You're waiting for something good to happen. You say it SHOULD happen. You need to take positive action and make that good come your way. Don't wait around, you'll only end up disappointed. i give up, i'm going to accept the fact that i am no longer the happy girl that always pulled everything together, i'm depressed and just numb! You are actively deciding to be sad. Happiness after heartbreak is not easily achieved. I'm sure its safe to say most people here are struggling with some sort of depression. I myself am clinically depressed, have been since I was a child, but every day I fight it. Is it hard? Yes. But I tell myself I want something better and I actively seek happiness. I don't let sad win. i wonder how much is too much...and yeah encouraging words only frustrate me "time will heal it and you need to go out and be with friends" please! (no offense) but all of that is BS.. Yes because all this time you have been allowing sadness to triumph. Time will heal things, but only if you let it. As I said, you need to stop holding onto pain and release it. after 2 months time hasn't healed nothing and hanging out with my friends and their boyfriends/girlfriends definitely is not very encouraging as it shows how lonely i really am. The glass is always half-empty or half-full. Its hard to see it as half-full when life sucks, but you need to STOP complaining about how it hurts. Even if it does hurt, stop letting yourself whine. See the good - you have friends to hang out with, they are happy, they have happy relationships, like one you'll have someday. how do you get out of this thing? how much is enough!! You get out of it by doing what I've said. Enough is what you decide it is. When you choose to be happy and let yourself be, it will come more easily. *** My point is, you have a future that is happy. You just need to go get it! I feel like a lot of your posts are asking WHY you're sad, listing HOW COME you're sad, complaining about being sad. All of that is allowed. To an extent. But after a while you need to just stop. Stop being sad, pick yourself up, and move on. It doesn't just "happen". Yeah time heals things, but its not magic, it comes from YOU, it comes from WITHIN. So theres your answer. I've done the best I can to show you how to be happy. From here you can walk away and take this post how you choose. If you think its crappy, fine. If you want to try out what I'm saying, great! I can't force you to do anything, its all up to you!
lofi_tokyo Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 Also, two months is not that long. However, you should feel like you're getting better by now, if you are really allowing yourself to move on. Try not to see the bad in things.
EmperorR Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 You'll get better. Time will heal you. If you want time to work faster you need to do a few things though, and the first, biggest thing, is not to let yourself be defeated. Start seeing the beauty in ordinary things. Anything can be beautiful. I really believe that. You just need to start appreciating the little things in life that are happy, and suddenly you'll find yourself feeling happy. You need to think happy! Let me break down what you said, but instead I'll try to put an optimistic, or semi-optimistic spin on it, okay? You don't need to lie, but you need to actively decide you are tired of being sad. Some people, a lot of people, get used to being sad, even if its not fun for them, sadness becomes an addiction, they won't let themselves be happy. Don't let yourself be one of those people. *** The more i go out there and try to "feel better", i still wake up feeling like i wish it would be night forever. Find something each morning you like. Hearing a bird outside sing, a great cup of coffee, the crisp morning air - there has to be something. Hold onto that. and it doesn't help that all my friends are with someone, so great how comforting to hang out with couples. They should be inspirational, because they are in happy relationships. You're going to be in one of those someday. Good guys do exist. could i possibly feel any more lonely? i guess yes, things could always get worse and lately everything is just going downhill. Stop thinking of things going downhill. That mentality wont help you. Its a dark tunnel that doesn't seem to have an ending...and when i think this is getting too much, something good should happen to save me from this hell, i only end up getting more hurt and dissapointed. Start seeing the light. There is one. You're alive. You are living in a good country where you have a warm home, food, family, and hell, even internet. You're waiting for something good to happen. You say it SHOULD happen. You need to take positive action and make that good come your way. Don't wait around, you'll only end up disappointed. i give up, i'm going to accept the fact that i am no longer the happy girl that always pulled everything together, i'm depressed and just numb! You are actively deciding to be sad. Happiness after heartbreak is not easily achieved. I'm sure its safe to say most people here are struggling with some sort of depression. I myself am clinically depressed, have been since I was a child, but every day I fight it. Is it hard? Yes. But I tell myself I want something better and I actively seek happiness. I don't let sad win. i wonder how much is too much...and yeah encouraging words only frustrate me "time will heal it and you need to go out and be with friends" please! (no offense) but all of that is BS.. Yes because all this time you have been allowing sadness to triumph. Time will heal things, but only if you let it. As I said, you need to stop holding onto pain and release it. after 2 months time hasn't healed nothing and hanging out with my friends and their boyfriends/girlfriends definitely is not very encouraging as it shows how lonely i really am. The glass is always half-empty or half-full. Its hard to see it as half-full when life sucks, but you need to STOP complaining about how it hurts. Even if it does hurt, stop letting yourself whine. See the good - you have friends to hang out with, they are happy, they have happy relationships, like one you'll have someday. how do you get out of this thing? how much is enough!! You get out of it by doing what I've said. Enough is what you decide it is. When you choose to be happy and let yourself be, it will come more easily. *** My point is, you have a future that is happy. You just need to go get it! I feel like a lot of your posts are asking WHY you're sad, listing HOW COME you're sad, complaining about being sad. All of that is allowed. To an extent. But after a while you need to just stop. Stop being sad, pick yourself up, and move on. It doesn't just "happen". Yeah time heals things, but its not magic, it comes from YOU, it comes from WITHIN. So theres your answer. I've done the best I can to show you how to be happy. From here you can walk away and take this post how you choose. If you think its crappy, fine. If you want to try out what I'm saying, great! I can't force you to do anything, its all up to you! excellent post, and just think alwayssme, at least you weren't cheated on and lied to.
Author alwayssme Posted October 26, 2008 Author Posted October 26, 2008 tokyo, i understand what you're saying, beleive me i do and it's a good thing that you're so positive about life. however, some things are easier said than done and like i've said many times, we're all different and our break-up stories are different. i don't know about most people but how would being around a whole bunch of happy couples kissing and stuff make me feel BETTER when i miss my ex? it only reminds me of him. i understand you're trying to see the "good" in it but it's a matter of feelings and not necessarily logic. i'm not sure i'm really explaining myself. my situation is different from most people here because i was very immature in my last relationship and i have regrets. my ex was a great guy, i made mistakes and eventually the relationship ended. seeing happy couples only reminds me of what i lost and how lonely i am because of how messed up i acted towards him. i'm not going to get into details but he took ALOT from me. and now i am way more mature and appreciative. it just sucks i had to learn to grow up the hard way. but regardless thanks for your reply.
Lishy Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 what are the details of the breakup? It sounds to me that you are beating yourself up so let us know the reason it broke up and we may be able to help you see things in a more positive way?
4givrnt4gtr Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 Well, I've been kicked around a few times, and ive learned this... the first few heartbreaks are hell BUT they are when you learn the most...I know it sucks to have to learn it like that...but for some reason it tends to be that way for all of us. (TRUST me...ive done so many stupid things that ended up making me lose men i adored at one point...which btw, those feeling also die eventually) In fact, after my fourth heartbreak, i swore i would never date again, I was dreading the long road of getting over the person. (the one before that one took me almost three years to forget). I hated to see couples bc i knew it would never be me...and to an extend im leaning towards that thought still.... But that doesnt mean i cant be happy. I would really REALLY take what tokyo said to heart. Thats exactly what i did then...I started small...writing down every day a thing or two I was thankful for...and that open up my eyes to how amazing life is...with or without a partner..even if it was someone u loved to death. Also...i believe me that its better to be with someone who will love you no matter how u are..who fits ur personality etc, than being with someone for whom you have to change who you are...nobody is worth losing yourself
Recommended Posts