ShadowU12345 Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 I've been going out with this amazing and beautiful girl for about 6 months now. Well, all was going great until she got jealous over me talking to this one girl for a few minutes. I try to be as honest as possible in this relationship. The other girl I was talking to was asking me questions about me and my girlfriends current status, you know, how long we've been going out, how often I got to see her, and to be honest I told her that I only got to see my girlfriend like every other week as it was a somewhat of a long-distance relationship. And this other girl just said,"Well, why don't you find someone around here that's closer". Well, I told my girlfriend what the other girl said about me finding someone else closer and that I thought she was flirting with me . Well, that was a big mistake. My girlfriend didn't talk to me for a week straight. She got very jealous of that, and we continued to argue for that week. Finally, we made up, and the next day, she told me that honestly she was somewhat attracted to another guy for some reason. She told me that I was more of "Marriage Material". Then she started going out with another guy. I've been miserable ever since, we still talk every now and then, plus we were planning on getting back together, and I'm 100% sure that we will. The thing that made me very upset, was that we had plans for the next 2 weeks, and the other night, she practically told me that she had suddenly made plans with all her friends. Me and her had these plans for a month already and then she goes and blows me off and then has the nerve to call and ask if I could be a "chauffeur" for her and all her friends that she blew me off for. Grrrr!!! I'm a really calm person, but that kinda mad me mad. Also, the only phone she has is the one that I bought for her, and I'm the one making the payments, and she won't even talk to me on it. I felt like I was in a crisis. I felt like I was falling apart from the inside. I just Love her so much, shes the best girlfriend I've ever had, and I love her to death, but lately she's been kinda urking me you know, grinding my gears, I just wish I could find out how to cope with all this.
Cub Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 You're marriage material, but not relationship material? There is no way she could gussy that statement up enough to make it logical. Unless you want to spend the rest of your life being her fallback, I wouldn't even consider taking her up on the whole marriage thing, or going back to her after she so callously cast you aside at the first sign of what she considered a better offer. From start to finish, your post just sounds like she's exploiting you. Since you seem to care about her, I don't expect you'll want to just boot her out of your life; so, first, talk to her about it. When she gets defensive and angry/sad, it'll be on you to cut the cord and cut her out of your life, and with a good stab at closure to boot. Maybe you'll come across her again when she's more mature.
mental_traveller Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 I'm not sure what her thinking and motivations are. Maybe she's trying to "one up" your perceived flirtation with this other girl, and make you jealous. Whatever the reason, you need to show that you won't stand for it. Cancel her phone, don't speak to her for a month, have fun going out with friends etc. If she is just playing games, she'll be baffled that you don't respond and have cut her off, eventually she'll give in and come back, asking what's up. If she is serious, she won't care and will just continue. You then know the score and can react on your own terms - if she was playing games, then give her a bollocking, lay down the law, and say if she ever pulls that crap again you are leaving for good. If she was serious - well, you just gotta move on since she won't be coming back.
torranceshipman Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 Sweetie, she isn't your girlfriend anymore...you split up. Now it sounds like she's keeping you on the backburner, but if she gets a better offer she'll cancel on you, and keep you in reserve as the chauffeur!! Thats no R, and she's no friend. I know you love her, but she's a user, by the sounds of it, and doesnt value you. I'd move on 100% and cut contact to save your heart-and it'll be good for your pride too, as it'll show her that you will NOT put up with being walked all over. Plus the 'marriage material' comment means she's in her bad boy phase and thinks you're too much of a walkover, and too nice for her. So at the very least if you want to get her back, show her you wont be that guy!
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