lofi_tokyo Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 So I went out with a new guy tonight. We hung out for three hours, we had a beer, he picked up the cheque. All in all, pretty nice time. I never thought of my ex once. This new guy and I eventually went our seperate ways, though neither of us had anywhere to head off to. But I figured three hours was long enough for a first date, right? Didn't wanna let it run too long!! Anyways, it felt pretty good. The guy is amazing. I'm not sure if things will go anywhere, he said he'd call me later this week. Its so nice! I'm glad we hes happy being chill and taking things slow, or at least it seems that way, because I like moving slow too. The only problem is I'm a very indecisive person. That is to say, I don't care what I do or where I go with people, as long as they're happy, I'm happy. So I want him to make plans for us, but he seems equally indecisive, just happy doing whatever. Its good because were easy going, but bad because we can never decide what to do. Gah! Maybe its good for me, it makes me be a bit more bossy. Anyways, I figured I'd post this because its kind of a nice update.
UnamedSeven Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 So I went out with a new guy tonight. We hung out for three hours, we had a beer, he picked up the cheque. All in all, pretty nice time. I never thought of my ex once. This new guy and I eventually went our seperate ways, though neither of us had anywhere to head off to. But I figured three hours was long enough for a first date, right? Didn't wanna let it run too long!! Anyways, it felt pretty good. The guy is amazing. I'm not sure if things will go anywhere, he said he'd call me later this week. Its so nice! I'm glad we hes happy being chill and taking things slow, or at least it seems that way, because I like moving slow too. The only problem is I'm a very indecisive person. That is to say, I don't care what I do or where I go with people, as long as they're happy, I'm happy. So I want him to make plans for us, but he seems equally indecisive, just happy doing whatever. Its good because were easy going, but bad because we can never decide what to do. Gah! Maybe its good for me, it makes me be a bit more bossy. Anyways, I figured I'd post this because its kind of a nice update. If you know him very well, try and dig up information from the first date and, for example, if he likes seafood, then suggest a local seafood restaurant and he will be most impressed by your knowledge of what he likes something along those lines will do. Good Luck!
EmperorR Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 How do you know when your ready for the first date:confused:
Author lofi_tokyo Posted October 26, 2008 Author Posted October 26, 2008 Good question, and I'm not sure. What I seem to be discovering slowly is, or at least with me, I never have really had to think "okay I am ready to date" or "I'm in a good place to date". In the past, it has just happened. So I'm trying to let things unfold naturally without putting too much thought into whats happening or could happen. I'm not saying it doesn't freak me out though. Mostly I am afraid of being emotionally unavailable to this new guy. Thats not fair to him. So far though, things between us have been moving soooo slow. Which is good for me. I'm guessing this guy, much like myself, is kind of unsure but sees potential. Plus, as it stands, these are just innocent dates. If my heart hasnt caught up by the time we start to get more serious, I'll have a talk with the guy. For now though I don't see a reason to bring my ex into the picture. Ahh! Who knows!
JooLee Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 IMO you know when you're ready to date when your heart is interested in getting to know the person. dating someone just to get over someone is the erm, weakest solution cos you dont need anyone to validate yourself. sometimes a break up calls for you to review yourself and work on yourself before you start letting someone in again. because when you are happy being by yourself, then you are happy being with someone else. and it would also help you analyse the type of person you'd like to be with next round. sometimes loneliness gets to you and you wish you had someone so bad but as fast as it comes, it will go away as well. these emotions will pass. if you jump into a relationship when you are vulnerable, the same pattern will occur and what we want is a breakthrough not a repitition of history. thats why it is important to spend some time by yourself. allow yourself the opportunity to smile because you made yourself smile. and plus i believe that love comes when you're not looking, it will happen at the right time. you'll know when yr ready to date when you feel ready. and the time will come dont worry
Author lofi_tokyo Posted October 27, 2008 Author Posted October 27, 2008 IMO you know when you're ready to date when your heart is interested in getting to know the person. dating someone just to get over someone is the erm, weakest solution cos you dont need anyone to validate yourself. sometimes a break up calls for you to review yourself and work on yourself before you start letting someone in again. because when you are happy being by yourself, then you are happy being with someone else. and it would also help you analyse the type of person you'd like to be with next round. sometimes loneliness gets to you and you wish you had someone so bad but as fast as it comes, it will go away as well. these emotions will pass. if you jump into a relationship when you are vulnerable, the same pattern will occur and what we want is a breakthrough not a repitition of history. thats why it is important to spend some time by yourself. allow yourself the opportunity to smile because you made yourself smile. and plus i believe that love comes when you're not looking, it will happen at the right time. you'll know when yr ready to date when you feel ready. and the time will come dont worry Joolee! Your post kind of pin-pointed where I am caught up. I think I have FINALLY decided being single is amazing, and not something to be scared of. In fact, with a group/team of single people, its MORE fun being single with them than being the one attached person in the group. But... this guy kind of came into my life randomly. I don't want to close out an opportunity, but I also feel like maybe its time I just enjoy singleness. OY! Its a 50/50 split. I figure if I play it by ear things will go okay. If he calls for another date, I'll see where it goes, if not, no worries. ;p
Peter_pan Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 Joolee! Your post kind of pin-pointed where I am caught up. I think I have FINALLY decided being single is amazing, and not something to be scared of. In fact, with a group/team of single people, its MORE fun being single with them than being the one attached person in the group. But... this guy kind of came into my life randomly. I don't want to close out an opportunity, but I also feel like maybe its time I just enjoy singleness. OY! Its a 50/50 split. I figure if I play it by ear things will go okay. If he calls for another date, I'll see where it goes, if not, no worries. ;p yeah just see what happens! dont need to commit to anything anytime soon. just when ever you like, or if you like feels good dont it?
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