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Stalker, admirer, friend playing a joke?


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Posted

Ladies, imagine this:

 

Your cell phone rings. You don't recognize the number. A man leaves a message, a voice you don't recognize. He doesn't identify himself. Instead, he just says, "Hey Star Gazer, I know this is last minute as you probably already have plans for tonight, but I'd like to take you to dinner tonight if you're free. Give me a call back when you get this."

 

You text him: "Who is this?"

Him: "LOL Dinner tonight?"

You: "No, seriously... Who is this?"

Him: "A long lost friend. Be playful for a minute..."

You: "I'm not playful with strangers."

Him: "I'm no stranger. Call me."

You: "You're not saved in my phone and I don't recognize your voice, so I must not know you."

Him: "That's too bad. We'll figure out a time to get together for dinner when you call back."

You: "Why would I call someone back I don't know and who refuses to identify himself? This is really childish."

Him: "Was meant to be playful. Sorry to bother you."

 

Then nothing else.

 

What's your next move, if any?

Posted

Personally, I would have stopped responding after

"LOL Dinner tonight?"
I would definitely not respond any longer. Unless he tells you who he is, he can keep talking to himself and also go to dinner by himself.

 

He could be an admirer, it could be your friends, or it could even be a stalker. It is impossible to say as an outside observer.

 

Unless your friends are prone to play such pranks, my best guess is that this guy is most likely someone you briefly met and exchanged phone numbers. Maybe you even went on a date with him but simply don't remember his voice?

 

I would write down his phone number though and save his messages, in case he turns out to be a stalker.

Posted

Honestly that sounds like one hell of an adventure. If you're the adventurous type I'd go just to see who it was. If it's someone you know and like decently, eat a free meal. If not, get out and go do something else.

 

If you're not the adventurous type than just let it go.

 

oh and PS:

if I did go I'd make sure I had some way to protect myself or something along those means.

Posted

I'd be like, "Sorry man, I'm not into dudes," then I'd double-check that my shotgun was loaded.

 

:bunny:

Posted
Ladies, imagine this:

 

Your cell phone rings. You don't recognize the number. A man leaves a message, a voice you don't recognize. He doesn't identify himself. Instead, he just says, "Hey Star Gazer, I know this is last minute as you probably already have plans for tonight, but I'd like to take you to dinner tonight if you're free. Give me a call back when you get this."

 

You text him: "Who is this?"

Him: "LOL Dinner tonight?"

You: "No, seriously... Who is this?"

Him: "A long lost friend. Be playful for a minute..."

You: "I'm not playful with strangers."

Him: "I'm no stranger. Call me."

You: "You're not saved in my phone and I don't recognize your voice, so I must not know you."

Him: "That's too bad. We'll figure out a time to get together for dinner when you call back."

You: "Why would I call someone back I don't know and who refuses to identify himself? This is really childish."

Him: "Was meant to be playful. Sorry to bother you."

 

Then nothing else.

 

What's your next move, if any?

 

Are you sure he's got the right person? Maybe he means someone with the same name (fact can be stranger than fiction)

Posted

Why did you even text him? I wouldn't have reacted at all. And please tell me he said your first name instead of Star Gazer LOL

 

The most logical explanation is a friend pulling a prank on you. However, I'd still be careful. I've had 2 stalkers in the past, and the best solution is to not react at all. The second you give them attention, it can escalate to the craziest things.

 

Did your phone show the phone number he called from? You could always try a reversed search online, it might pull up a name.

Posted
I'd be like, "Sorry man, I'm not into dudes," then I'd double-check that my shotgun was loaded.

 

:bunny:

 

That is so wrong! :lmao::lmao:

 

Last time that happened, I did return the call.

Posted

Star--- use a different phone or block your number (remember the good ole *68 or something like that???) and call his number. Hope for his voicemail to pick up and you might be able to solve this quandry that you are having. Once you find out you might be disappointed... friends or an old flame playing a prank isn't nearly as exciting as a new man in your life!!

 

 

btw... I say if you aren't stalking, then you aren't really trying.!! haha

Posted

I would find this creepy, just like secret admirers sending flowers is creepy. Either give your name or go away!

 

If he calls again or you exchange texts, tell him this is creeping you out and if he's someone you know, he will identify himself immediately. If he continues to play the game, I would consider him a stalker and treat him as such, including telling him that you're going to give his number to the cops.

Posted

S_G, is this perhaps a client? Maybe someone you worked with on a case and they perhaps saw more to it than just lawyer/client? I ask because I have my lawyer's personal cell number. Just a thought.

 

Kudo's to you for playing along. I don't have that much patience :)

Posted

You probably know the person, but the question is how.

 

Think of every guy who has your cell number.

 

Think of any guy who has your cell number who may have a reason to give your cell number to someone else.

 

Think of anyone who has a reason to put your cell number on bathroom walls, websites, etc.

 

Think of anyone with whom you have had an email correspondence...and to whom you may have given your cell number. This includes LS and any other message board.

 

Think.

Posted

Your roomie's BF's friend maybe?

 

How are things between the two of you? I don't know why but I smell female persuasion.

Posted
What's your next move, if any?

 

Text me back later :D

Posted

and for the record...the whole interaction on his side seems passive aggressive to me.

Posted

Yeah - my opinion of interpersonal humor is that a joke isn't funny if it excludes someone in the group. If it's at that person's expense, then it's not funny - certainly not to them, at least.

 

A "prank" or "adventure" or whatever you call it is similar. What purpose is served by intentionally creating DISCOMFORT with no reassurance or release. It's possible to create tension and adventure but still associate them with safety and reassurance.

 

Especially in a situation where he is still anonymous, where you are uncomfortable, and he is apparently enjoying that? At the very minimum, this is highly insensitive of him. He's serving his own need for titillation and tension, at the expense of keeping you hanging in discomfort.

 

Do any of these add up to someone that you might like to have dinner with?

Posted

Wow seriously? Not sure why people auto-assume the worst. I would hazard a guess that whoever it was was genuinely an old friend (or acquaintance) and thought they knew SG well enough that they would see the funny side of it, and got it completely wrong in the process.

 

Probaby gone off with their tail between their legs.

Posted
Wow seriously? Not sure why people auto-assume the worst. I would hazard a guess that whoever it was was genuinely an old friend (or acquantaince) and thought they knew SG well enough that they would see the funny side of it, and got it completely wrong in the process.

 

Probaby gone off with their tail between their legs.

 

Wow, I'm shocked but I actually agree with you!

 

I don't know. When I was single, I used to do all kinds of crazy stuff. I remember sending my pic and a letter to the Cosmopolitan Bachelor of the Month and actually getting a response. He flew from Texas to Palm Beach, FL and we had a fabulous date.

 

And one time when I was in college, this guy was calling for someone else but got me (wrong number) and we started talking. We ended up on the phone for hours. We started dating after that.

 

I'm all for adventure and the unknown...within reason.

 

What you talk about here would never have scared me away. I would have been intrigued, personally.

 

I mean really...what have you got to lose?

Posted
Wow, I'm shocked but I actually agree with you!

 

Now stop that! :D

 

I agree with what you're saying too, a bit of adventure is always good!

Posted
Ladies, imagine this:

 

Your cell phone rings. You don't recognize the number. A man leaves a message, a voice you don't recognize. He doesn't identify himself. Instead, he just says, "Hey Star Gazer, I know this is last minute as you probably already have plans for tonight, but I'd like to take you to dinner tonight if you're free. Give me a call back when you get this."

 

You text him: "Who is this?"

Him: "LOL Dinner tonight?"

You: "No, seriously... Who is this?"

Him: "A long lost friend. Be playful for a minute..."

You: "I'm not playful with strangers."

Him: "I'm no stranger. Call me."

You: "You're not saved in my phone and I don't recognize your voice, so I must not know you."

Him: "That's too bad. We'll figure out a time to get together for dinner when you call back."

You: "Why would I call someone back I don't know and who refuses to identify himself? This is really childish."

Him: "Was meant to be playful. Sorry to bother you."

 

Then nothing else.

 

What's your next move, if any?

 

Not a lady but I'm too old for those games. I'd delete the messages and hang out with my friends.

Posted
Now stop that! :D

 

I know..seriously. What the hell was I thinking?:p

 

I agree with what you're saying too, a bit of adventure is always good!

 

Totally agree here too. It's the way I've always lived and have (rarely) regretted it.

Posted
Ladies, imagine this:

 

Your cell phone rings. You don't recognize the number. A man leaves a message, a voice you don't recognize. He doesn't identify himself. Instead, he just says, "Hey Star Gazer, I know this is last minute as you probably already have plans for tonight, but I'd like to take you to dinner tonight if you're free. Give me a call back when you get this."

 

You text him: "Who is this?"

Him: "LOL Dinner tonight?"

You: "No, seriously... Who is this?"

Him: "A long lost friend. Be playful for a minute..."

You: "I'm not playful with strangers."

Him: "I'm no stranger. Call me."

You: "You're not saved in my phone and I don't recognize your voice, so I must not know you."

Him: "That's too bad. We'll figure out a time to get together for dinner when you call back."

You: "Why would I call someone back I don't know and who refuses to identify himself? This is really childish."

Him: "Was meant to be playful. Sorry to bother you."

 

Then nothing else.

 

What's your next move, if any?

 

Man, what's with some women these days, no sense of romance. or fun.

 

 

 

No wonder she is still single. Lighten up!

Posted

I noticed women are always cryin' "Stalker" every 2 seconds, what's with that? :laugh:

Posted
I noticed women are always cryin' "Stalker" every 2 seconds, what's with that? :laugh:

There are total creeps out there. I've dealt with a few, and I can tell you those situations ARE scary.

 

If that weirdo had given her his name when she asked for it, the situation wouldn't be all awkward now. She did not recognize him and was clearly creeped out. Anybody in their right mind would have at least identified themselves the second she made it clear that this whole thing was making her very uncomfortable.

 

Even if he isn't a stalker, but a long lost friend who was trying to be playful: he miserably failed and sucks at it. Which wouldn't make me wanna date him anyway.

Posted

Whoever he is, he needs some growing up to do. JMO.

Posted

James M always asks too much of people.

 

Chances are this was someone you actually like. He was playing a dumb game for sure, but you responded to him as if he was psychotic. Maybe it wasn't funny. But you should have at least found out who it was before you decided how to respond.

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