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Posted

Amongst other things my father left this world this way to me. He left it like hey you either marry whom i want or your going to lose and regret it the rest of your life.

 

Everytime i meet a girl nowadays, I feel like dang I wish my father would approve. He was a great man and a very blessed man by God but he has left me demoralized about my own hopes and dreams.

 

I don't exclusively blame him but I feel rattled to the core where my own mind body and soul are shaking with doubt and unhappiness. Whereas I seen other parents bend for their kids and adjust, this man never would.

 

He was a no compromise man, my way or die sonny. You will never have my blessing for anything other than what I want because I disapprove.

 

I consider myself an international person and know the merits of his opinions but I am quite simply shellshocked because I am by nature slightly more open minded than to his traditional beliefs but I feel scarred for life.

 

I don't know how to even conceptualize dating. When I bring a girl home of another race, my mom gives her a difficult look and I am yet again reminded that I have no blessing in whatever I try for.

 

Girls and guy friends have even told me, this is not going to work because of your parents close-mindedness. I feel my health has deteriorated and I am unable to live the life I want to live. For my parents to leave me on this earth without any sense of joy to pursue or dream that I want to build for myself albeit a small one, I get more sick by the day and tremble.

 

Any thoughts or do I just do what is expected of me and live unhappy?

Posted

I think you have to make a decision, let your parents screw up your life or make one for yourself without their shadow looming over you. Sounds a lot easier than it is, but objectively the latter is your only real choice. I'm sure many will have had to have broken away.

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Posted

I kinda believe now its not only their shadow looming over me, I got a couple of my own ones. It is easy to blame them but yet it is still easy to blame them cause all variables contribute to a condition if you know what i mean.

 

I guess I just got to figure this big one out on my own.

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