Chitowngirl Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 I'm 26. My boyfriend of 11 months is 34. We have been living together for 8 months. We fell for each other hard very quickly. I love my boyfriend, and we have a very active sex life, but I have always questioned his sexuality. My boyfriend is 6'2, 225, built like a line backer, very attractive, very successful salesmen at a large corporation. I've dated lots of guys, and a few have given me "warning signs" that they are bi or gay. Ironically, and sadly, the man I lost my viriginity to admitted he had masterbated with his best male friend a few times and they made each other cum. He is married to a woman today and I wonder if she knows. Anyways, another guy I dated used to make comments like, "That guy is ripped. He must pull a ton of a**." I thought those comments were odd but that's as far as it went. Now onto my current boyfriend. When we're walking through a mall, and a very attractive, well built guy walks by, my boyfriend's head WILL TURN ALL THE WAY AROUND and follow the guy. He will make a comment on how huge the guy is. He made a comment about a fit guy walking in front of us, "Would you like it if my body looked like his?" And I said "No, his waist is smaller than mine." And the guy walked into AX and my bf automatically wanted to rush in there after him though he does not like that store. I found that very odd. I told him I didn't want to go in there so we did not end up following him. I have searched my bf's cookies on his computer (yeah I know, don't lecture me on trust issues, he's gone behind my back and met with an ex, has lots of female friends who he has slept with, or who he brags would give up their lives/husbands/children to be with him), and I found cookies to gay sites, like suckmycock or load.com, very obvious gay sites. I also was able to see that he searched, "huge cocks" on a porn site we frequent together as a couple (he searched that when I was not present) and his favorite type of porn involves cum shots or close ups of penis's. He says he doesn't want to ever see me f* another guy, though I've told him at least 30 times (no joke) that I will never do that, but I can just tell he wants me to b/c of the look on his face and the thing he does with his tongue which he only does when he's stimulated or excited in some way. He made a joke about getting a "special" massage in China (he travels there for work), and I jokingly said, "Ok, as long as I get to pick THE GUY!" And he replied, "Ok, I'll just close my eyes." Also, I have point blank asked him if he's bi and once while he was drunk he said, "Some guys are straight, some guys are gay - I'm in the middle - so you're going to have to let me do stuff." I was buzzed so I can't be 100% SURE if that's what said. I've read that the closeted gays are the ones who make the most comments like "gross he's gay" or "look at that fag" and he says that every time we go to the mall or something. He has said repeatedly "I'm not gay or bisexual" but a part of me doesn't believe him. He is very into fashion, his hair, designer clothes, bath/face products, etc. He critiques my wardrobe and puts me down for the way I dress. He is very well endowed, so a part of me "hopes" his facination with penis's is due to his large member. Is that the case with men who are well endowed? He is the first serious boyfriend I've had who was big so I don't have anything to go on. He wishes he was more muscular, so is that why he's "fascinated" by huge steriod-looking men? BTW- he has said, "JUST BECAUSE I APPRECIATE AN ATTRACTIVE MAN, IT DOESN'T MEAN I'M BI OR GAY." Am I over-reacting? My gut tells me he's bisexual and is just scared to death to admit it because I've flat out told him I can't accept it. He wants to propose by the end of this year. What should I do?
Fraggle Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 When I used to work out more regularly, I used to check out other guys. It wasn't because I was attracted to them, but moreso "sizing up the competition" so to speak. It's really not unusual for guys to size each other up. As for the gay thing, he probably is at least bi-curious from the sounds of it. A lot of guys are (it's really not that uncommon), so that doesn't suprise me. It's probably a bit of both, based on what you've written. But that's just my opinion.
Shygirl15 Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 He's very likely to be bisexual. All the red flags are there. As for his large member, I read on one of the threads here recently that gays/bisexuals tend to have large penis, for some reason.
prettybaby Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 Yeah, he definitely sounds bisexual. He sounds weird too, which is a different issue.
Geishawhelk Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 Bi- or gay aside - reading all of your post - why the hell are you with this guy? he sounds so far up himself (pardon the pun, I'm serious here ) and his Ego is so inflated, he doesn't seem to have room in his life for you... Not as a person, a partner, a love-of-his-life....he's just with you to have a gal on his arm, but his mind is obviously elsewhere.... He's cheated, he's weird, he says the most astounding and outrageous things, but honestly, I really don't see the attraction.... I think you need to cut him some slack.... like, move to the next town and find a guy who's into you, not himself. he sounds so big - and Pig- headed, that I'm surprised he doesn't yell his own name out during sex.
prettybaby Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 I'm surprised he doesn't yell his own name out during sex. bwahahaha!!
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 Seriously, what kind of a guy critiques his girlfriend's wardrobe?
Author Chitowngirl Posted December 26, 2009 Author Posted December 26, 2009 Well, I ended up leaving my possibly bi-sexual fiance. It wasn't because I thought he was bi, it was b/c of his temper. I wonder if his "feelings" for men caused him to be so angry towards ME? No idea, but I had to get out of there. Unfortunately, it's 6 months after I left him, and I miss him and almost regret leaving him. I hate this.
TaraMaiden Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 Well, I ended up leaving my possibly bi-sexual fiance. It wasn't because I thought he was bi, it was b/c of his temper. I wonder if his "feelings" for men caused him to be so angry towards ME? No idea, but I had to get out of there. Unfortunately, it's 6 months after I left him, and I miss him and almost regret leaving him. I hate this. The anger would be his own frustration at the denial of his own sexuality. he sounds like some crazed messed-up individual. if he ever crawls out from under that Ego-stone, and asks you to try again, then tell him it's conditional. He admits his sexuality, and should go to professional counselling. Find someone qualified to help him face it and deal with it. hell, if he can't, why should you put up with his crap? But if as you say, it's been 6 months, then really, you're better off without him. Talk about baggage....!
californiagirl1 Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 After reading your past post and the one today I think you need to look forward and not back. If he has a temper this is something that will NEVER change and may only get worse with age. Some minor characteristics can be changed/molded but his temper is not one of them. I would suggest steering away from gym rats. I found first hand that the more they work out the more they crave others attention. They are nice to look at but not husband material
Recommended Posts