Is this missing her or possibly just missing the comfort and idea of being w/ her?

[dmoore]

My girlfriend & I have been dating for 2 1/2 years. We are boith 26. Because of various reasons, we recently decided that we needed a little "space" to think about things. Mostly it was me pushing for the space. Its been about a week & a half & we haven't spoken or seen each other. I thought I was clear w/ myself going into this time that a break up was what I needed to do mostly b/c I was uncertain, and that this time apart would make me sure. All of a sudden I have been depressed and dreaming about her at night. I think about all of the positive things we had together and question myself constantly. I cannot focus on working or other activities b/c I think of her, the hurt I am bringing her, and whether we were actually meant to be together b/c of all this. Is this missing her or possibly just missing the comfort and idea of being w/ her? Should I continue w/ keeping our space from each other and determine if one way or the other wins out? I know its not a clear cut question but anyone who can provide help is appreciated. Thank You.

[Tony T]

What you're doing to the both of you is insane. People who love each other don't need space to decide how they feel. You are obviously very confused and therefore not exactly sure how you feel. I think if after 2 1/2 years you should know just where your heart is at. If you are indecisive, that's a strong message to yourself. When you are thinking of a lifetime relationship, there is no room for indecisiveness. You're either certain or it's a no go. Entering a permanent partnership is not something you do with a spirit of speculation.

 

After 2 1/2 years, you could certainly miss somebody, even the wrong person. Hell, if you saw a snake in your backyard everyday for a year or two and all of a sudden it disappeared, you'd kind of miss it. Missing somebody and loving them as a lifetime partner are two very different things.

 

Then again, and without further prose, I leave you with one of my favorite quotes...the author of whom I do not know: "Love knows not its own depth, except in the hour of separation."

 

Good luck.

[emokid]

Tony is the right. The whole indecisiveness is very silly. You know it, if you feel it.

If you love the girl and miss her and have great times when you are with her WHY DO YOU NEED SPACE? If you need space, take a trip with your buddies, you don't need to break up. You can accomplish everything in the world you want to and STILL be with the girl you love. Also...I think people are scared of "Years". Long periods of time in a relationship, scare people, where they start thinking: "Where is this headed?" "Is my life set now?" "I need time to think if this is what i want or not."

 

B*LL SH*T!

 

What are you Uncertain about??? You know it if you feel it. If you love her, Be with her. Godforbid you spend the rest of your life with "One"girl, which you happen to love. Don't even stress that you have to marry this girl...Just go with whatever happens. Too many people THINK and don't feel with their hearts.