goldencloud Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 so the guy im seeing told me we're exclusive but not in a relationship? what does this mean?! we've been seeing eachother for a few weeks...we spend every weekend together, and 1/2 during the weekdays does this mean we're eventually gonna land in relationship? we're exclusive after all..according to him...so is there a difference?! should i be worried?! arghhh i know maybe this=stupid question but i really like him...so just wondering... *help*
Confusedalways Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 Being in a relationship = you're his girlfriend when he talks to people, you go to family gatherings, etc. Being exclusive= you're only seeing each other, but it isn't official to the point where they want to 'declare' anything. usually exclusivity ends up in relationships, good luck.
Author goldencloud Posted October 24, 2008 Author Posted October 24, 2008 thanks so much:) i know it seems like a silly question, but in this day and age with a thousnad different titles for everything...seeing eachother/dating/friend with benefits/exclusive/open/'nothing'...etc etc..one can get a bit worried hahah!! i miss the clear cut days!!
carhill Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 OP, be wary of those who finely delineate the lines of interpersonal relationships. I have a friend who was "exclusive" for eight years. I still think her BF is a commitment-phobe. Watch out if your guy is a path of least resistance guy. That said, IMO you should focus on getting to know each other and enjoying each other's company rather than being concerned about attaching the proper label to your "relationship". Those things just happen with time. I know, one day, I woke up and I was "married".
Lizzie60 Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 so the guy im seeing told me we're exclusive but not in a relationship? what does this mean?! we've been seeing eachother for a few weeks...we spend every weekend together, and 1/2 during the weekdays does this mean we're eventually gonna land in relationship? we're exclusive after all..according to him...so is there a difference?! should i be worried?! arghhh i know maybe this=stupid question but i really like him...so just wondering... *help* What this means is FWB ... he doesn't want you to sleep with anyone else.. but he doesn't want you as his gf..
LoveDeluxe78 Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 What this means is FWB ... he doesn't want you to sleep with anyone else.. but he doesn't want you as his gf.. Yeah, it's one step up from casual dating or non exclusive FWB. It means he's not sleeping with other people (at least he's not supposed to if he agreed to this), and neither can you, but because he has gone to explicitly differentiate it from a relationship, he's saying he's not going to put in the amount of emotional investment that people put into actual relationships. Sometimes this turns into a relationship, but oftentimes, if he has differentiated it like this, it's more an exclusive FWB, at least that's the way I see it.
Trialbyfire Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 I agree with Lizzie. If this isn't what you want, don't agree to it. Suggest that exclusivity comes with a relationship and see how he reacts. If he starts to hem or haw, just tell him the exclusivity is now on the backburner until the two of you can come to a compromise, something that meets both your needs. If you're cool with this exclusive FWB arrangement, make sure you don't invest in him, otherwise, you're headed for heartbreak.
Author goldencloud Posted October 24, 2008 Author Posted October 24, 2008 you guys are right! well to be honest, we have only been dating 3 weeks lol! he calls me like twice a day, and is forever hugging me/holding my eyes...very very PDA in public and private...and seems genuiely concerned about me and my life etc... i guess just kinda hmmm cos to me everything about us screams relationship...but maybe its the frame of time? even when we're out wiht his friends, he'll hold my hands, and kiss me infront of them etc...he just says its 'early days'...but i see no difference in what we are as 'exclusive' or 'relationship' as he told me he's only dating me and would be annoyed if i was dating another.. any tips cos i dont want it to seem as tho he can just get comfortable in this 'exclusive' phase..as im not interested in swimming in this ambivalent puddle where we LOOK and seem like a couple in every way but yet are not title wise...argh maybe im getting to carried way i think ill just do my own thing for the next few days and see
carhill Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 Too much too fast. I see contradictions. Beware
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