soulseeker Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 My bf and I of one year moved in together when we moved to a new city. Things are not going well. We have had three "fights" in three weeks. The topic of the fights has been my mood, I have been a bit down and not my cheery self, his lack of support during the difficult times. It is not existent. I noticed this about him from very early in our relationship, so I really dont think I should take it personally, but it makes me feel like he cannot handle anything negative. As a partner, is that what I want? No, it isnt. But, it is the only thing about him that truly irks me. I love the guy a lot, we both tend to withdraw when things are not great, which is dangerous. We are both in our 30's. I am the first woman he has ever lived with, and the first roommate he has had in 14 years. I lived alone for two years prior to this. I guess what I am asking is, is this normal? Is there supposed to a be a period of adjustment? Does it mean something bad that we are having this adjustment period? Neither one of us has a job at the moment, and I know for me, that makes me not feel great about myself. I guess I just wish he were more supportive during the down times. His family life was $hit and his parents got divorced early. So I understand perhaps why he is not so loving. I am too in the middle of this to see it clearly. I need your advice. Anyone experience this and work it out? I am thinking about moving out to save the relationship, but what does that mean? How can you go back? Please help!
Miss K Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 When me & boyfriend first moved in together it was the most difficult time in our relationship. There were fights, there were doors slammed, there was a few instances of me packing a suitcase. But we have been living together for three years now, and apart from the odd minor disagreement we are stronger than ever. I never had a job when I moved in, and that put so much more pressure on us. As soon as I got a job, the living situation became a lot more pleasant. Give it a little longer. It took 6 months for us to get used to each other. I look back now and wonder how we survived! I certainly wouldn't want to go through that again! Hang in there....it's perfectly normal to be this way at first.
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