oreo Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Hi all, Here's some background on my relationship: I helped her out earlier in the year with her job, and getting used to it. This included daily phone calls, and moral encouragement. All this was done while I was overseas training. As a result, she decided to pay me a visit, and we got together. There definately was a bond,and passion. When I came home from my training, I had other issues to attend to, including a job, a new house, and misc stuff. As a result, I often had to kill 2 birds with 1 stone,and she accused me of not spending quality time with her. I dont deny this to a certain extent. However, she kept making unresonable demands. Like if I wanted to study for an interview, she still insisted on meeting up. So I did breakup with her, only to take her back the next day. This trend continued for sometime, and I'm no angel. I realised my mistake. And just when I thought our rough ride was getting a little smoother, I kinda lost my head, when essentially, she wanted me to mind read that she's hungry, and I should ensure the dinner was settled. I guess I could have, but she could have certainly communicated better. Now, my new job has great potential, but as usual, very rough initially. After the last incident, she basically distant herself, when I needed her most. I pleaded for attention and a listening ear, but would be ignored. Only for a few weeks later, for her to tell me she still loved me. So we had another go. Kissed, and hugged. And the next day, I would be ignored again. Only for her to tell me, she was seeing a guy during this period, and she just wanted to clarify things. Now, I flipped again. And again, she turned to him again. We just had a long conversation.And she's wants to start from a clean slate. Which means, she doesnt want any commitment. And she wants to continue to see this guy, cos to her, he is her friend. Though, he has feelings for her. And we have been together for almost 7mths. So again, I flipped, and say for us to have a chance, I'm not allowing that. NOW, my qns. I know my temper needs to improve. but everything I have done for her, and my intentions have always been true. And I'm not violent. I know I made mistakes. But how could she find another pillar so quickly, and now, want to erase whatever we had. Should I just move on with my life? I'm wondering why I have to deal with her MANY needs on being pampered like a princess. The guy she's seeing, is the direct opposite of me. Someone with little education, a carefree life, and easy going. Sorry for the long post. I hope someone helps. I'm so confused, that my job is at risk, as I can't focus, cos I really love her. But sometimes, it's better to let go?
SoundTribe Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 You need to drop her man. As hard as it is, you absolutely must get her out of your life. She is a cancer and she will interfere with your career. Focus on getting your career up and running and the women will flock to you like the salmon of Capistrano.
Author oreo Posted October 24, 2008 Author Posted October 24, 2008 Yes, I know once I'm successful, girls wont be an issue. Call me old fashioned, but I always believed behind every successful man, is a woman. And to a certain extent, I'm peeved, cos I done so much for her. I effectively helped her to where she is now in her career. While some ppl would say, I shouldnt expect anything in return, some care and consideration would be nice. I just don't know why can I move on as well... hence I'm here. I'm 28, andjust want to stable life to move on from here. And hope someone will walk alongside me.
Hersheys Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 Don't give her what she wants (no commitment BS). It may be difficult right now but you really have to let her go. She will impede any possible growth and progress you want in your life. Leave her and her new man alone. Invest your time and energy on what matters more - your career. Immerse yourself on your job and in time you will realize that you can be happy alone and will find the right girl for you at the right time. Have you thought about going NC on this girl? It's the best thing you can do to understand better the relationship you had with her and what she has done to you.
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